Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

[Goldflamingo]

Hi posting here as this thread seems to get the most traction.

I found out I was pregnant this morning. I haven’t had periods for 2 years as I’ve been on the pill and they’ve stopped them. I had no symptoms until recently. My belly is tiny, I’ve lost weight. I have been feeling so sick and dizzy, Saturday I went to a theme park with my daughter, I fainted and was sick everywhere. The medic came over and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and I laughed it off. I recovered and we went home.

Today I thought oh I will just take a test to rule it out. I was going shopping anyway so I didn’t specifically set out to buy a test, I just grabbed one with my shopping. I fully expected it to say negative, I was just doing it to humour myself. I knew there was an extremely slim chance but I was 99.99% sure it would be negative. I didn’t even look for 20 minutes as I was adamant it was a waste of time and would be negative. But no, two lines appeared. Because I left it so long I thought a possible false positive so I went out and got 6 more including a digi. All were dark positive and the digi said pregnant.

I went in to panic mode. I have not had sex in 30 weeks, the last time I had sex was November the 24th. I was dating somebody and things broke up after a few months as he moved abroad. I have not had sex or even dated since.

I called EPU, I explained the whole situation and they’ve said as I’m over 16 weeks, they can not take me under their care and I need to do an online referral for a midwife and urge the importance of the situation in my online referral. I have done an online referral and stressed they contact me asap. I can not find a direct number for the midwife’s, only the number for antenatal day Assesment unit. I don’t know what I should do, do I just go to a&e. Do I wait until the midwife’s have got back to me?

I am so scared. For all I know there’s more than one baby, the baby could be sick, the placenta could have developed incorrectly, the baby could be deformed, the baby could have a disability. Anything; because I haven’t been checked! So now I’m worrying!

I also drink a bottle of wine most weekends.

I am terrified something would have gone wrong but I’m in limbo until the midwife’s contact me back after they’ve received my referral. I don’t know what to do, do I go to A&E?? Am I going to be in trouble for not knowing until now?

I feel so uncomfortable sat here doing nothing about it until they’ve got back to me when I’m anywhere from 30-36 weeks pregnant. My other daughter was born at 33 weeks so I’m worrying!!!

please what do I do??? Do I go to a&e???

My advice is to get a Time Machine, go back to November and tell o/p she’s pregnant and needs to stop drinking.

because what’s done is done. It can’t be changed. O/p didn’t know she was pregnant.

shit happens and there’s no point making anyone feel shit for stuff they couldn’t have known.

@Hello38 if you feel for her stop making unnecessary comments about how she continued to drink???? Continued to drink still unaware she was pregnant. Everyone is more than aware of the risks of drinking whilst pregnant but again, she didn't know she was pregnant, so naming all the things a baby can get through the mother drinking is not helpful one bit. I'm absolutely sure the op already knows the risks and is clearly very concerned.

So no women should drink ever on the off chance they might become pregnant?

I’m soooo invested in this thread.

Ok hold my hands up. Yes I’m judgmental but so is the real world . I can’t be bothered wasting anymore time on this

Can you tell me who thinks this? I'm honestly lost at your comments, what are you getting out of this it's very strange. Everyone as I have said is aware of what can happen to babies if the mother drinks. Why are you still going on about this ???????? This was not on purpose that she was drinking and didn't know, not sure how many different people can tell you this seriously

Nobody has said alcohol doesn’t damage babies, you plum. Other people know that alcohol can damage babies, which is why they stop drinking either when trying to conceive or when they know they’re pregnant. You are not in possession of rare and arcane knowledge. Stop trying to upset a woman who already has a lot to worry about and knows just as well as you do the facts of this subject.

Maybe get back to the other person 10 years down the line I’m sure you’ll support them

So what is your point here?

are you expecting the o/p to somehow undo the last 8 months?

are you trying to make her feel utterly crap about a situation she has no control over?

did you post here only to make someone feel shit?

no one is minimising drinking on pregnancy. Yes everyone knows it’s bad.

difference is the rest of us are trying to reassure o/p and not make an incredibly stressful situation worse. Which is what you are doing, apparently intentionally. Which makes you a shit person.

That's ok then. Your situations are obviously exactly the same and you know exactly how she feels. Christ.

Note how no one else is congratulating the OP. There's a reason for that.

@Hello38 you are just talking absolute nonsense now. Nothing you are saying makes sense

I’m not bothered it’s your life not mine

My sister in law's sister has FAS so I'm well aware of the terrible impact it can have.

That was from intentional, continued and excessive alcohol abuse throughout a pregnancy.

Yes, there is a (very small) risk but berating this poor woman isn't helping at all and you're coming across as vile. She didn't do it intentionally, she was on birth control!! She can't go back in time, there's nothing she can do other than do what she needs to do to keep herself and the baby safe in the rest of the pregnancy. You continuing to berate and go on is not going to help at her all and if she's still reading this, cause her unnecessary worry and stress in what must be a scary time.

Unless you have something helpful to say, which you clearly don't, it might be a wise idea to step away from this thread.

OP, sending love to you. I hope you're ok and you have some support. The fact you're concerned about it shows you're a good mum, and whatever the outcome, you'll manage. Keep us updated if you feel up to it and if you don't, I wish you and your family the best

@Hello38 your visibly bothered, your waffling on and on about how bad drinking is when pregnant, something that everyone is well aware of !!! Then saying your not bothered ? Stop commenting if your not bothered. You have been 0 help to the OP.

Some of the comments are really unhelpful.
FAS is rare even when the mother drinks to excess. My mum is an alcoholic and neither me nor my siblings have it.
Obviously drinking in pregnancy isn’t great but the chances are 4 glasses of wine a week won’t cause an issue.

Ok you’ve said it all well done you

Some terrible comments. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. I’m sure that a few glasses of wine a week will be fine. I do hope the hospital can find out how far along you are and check you’re not in labour. You’ve still got options if you’re not in a position to have another child (obviously given the gestation I’m talking about adoption) but give yourself some time to come to terms with it all.

FAS is actually not that rare. A study in Manchester found a prevalence of up to 3.6% (equivalent to a child in every primary class). There is no ‘safe’ amount of alcohol - though the impact will depend on a range of factors and the more drunk the higher the risk. But whatever the risk, what done is done and if you didn’t know you were pregnant there is not a lot you could do. Some children arrive with challenges for a whole host of reasons and they still make us proud.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/foetal-alcohol-spectrum-disorder/

Hi OP,
Hope you have managed to get someone to see you. Presenting at A&E may be an option, especially as you have already disclosed you are currently on Lithium and therefore presumably under Psych care, I can only image that this turmoil would be enough to knock anyone’s resilience.
It may also be worth noting that although rare, many antipsychotics can cause false positives on home pregnancy tests.

@Hello38 aIm not even reading your cruel, unkind and unhelpful posts anymore. I’m reporting them because I actually think you’re a troll. Nobody is so thick to genuinely post the things that you are. So I suspect you’re being intentionally nasty and spiteful. What a sad life you must lead.
I encourage others to just report her posts. Don’t engage, it’s what she wants.

OP, I hope you’ve been seen in triage and are feeling a bit more positive and reassured 💐

I've reported quite a lot of the posts and they've been deleted thankfully. Still some to go though.

Congratulations op, I saw a thread on here a while back of a lady in a very similar position, on birth control found out she was pregnant quite late on and went on to have a successful birth. I hope its going well in hospital ❤️

Right op firstly what happened in the past is in the past.....now is today... book yourself for a scan asap, private if you can afford it. Congratulations...sounds like you amazing mum.