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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just found out I’m pregnant I must be over 30 weeks I am scared!

517 replies

Goldflamingo · 23/06/2024 13:20

Hi posting here as this thread seems to get the most traction.

I found out I was pregnant this morning. I haven’t had periods for 2 years as I’ve been on the pill and they’ve stopped them. I had no symptoms until recently. My belly is tiny, I’ve lost weight. I have been feeling so sick and dizzy, Saturday I went to a theme park with my daughter, I fainted and was sick everywhere. The medic came over and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant and I laughed it off. I recovered and we went home.

Today I thought oh I will just take a test to rule it out. I was going shopping anyway so I didn’t specifically set out to buy a test, I just grabbed one with my shopping. I fully expected it to say negative, I was just doing it to humour myself. I knew there was an extremely slim chance but I was 99.99% sure it would be negative. I didn’t even look for 20 minutes as I was adamant it was a waste of time and would be negative. But no, two lines appeared. Because I left it so long I thought a possible false positive so I went out and got 6 more including a digi. All were dark positive and the digi said pregnant.

I went in to panic mode. I have not had sex in 30 weeks, the last time I had sex was November the 24th. I was dating somebody and things broke up after a few months as he moved abroad. I have not had sex or even dated since.

I called EPU, I explained the whole situation and they’ve said as I’m over 16 weeks, they can not take me under their care and I need to do an online referral for a midwife and urge the importance of the situation in my online referral. I have done an online referral and stressed they contact me asap. I can not find a direct number for the midwife’s, only the number for antenatal day Assesment unit. I don’t know what I should do, do I just go to a&e. Do I wait until the midwife’s have got back to me?

I am so scared. For all I know there’s more than one baby, the baby could be sick, the placenta could have developed incorrectly, the baby could be deformed, the baby could have a disability. Anything; because I haven’t been checked! So now I’m worrying!

I also drink a bottle of wine most weekends.

I am terrified something would have gone wrong but I’m in limbo until the midwife’s contact me back after they’ve received my referral. I don’t know what to do, do I go to A&E?? Am I going to be in trouble for not knowing until now?

I feel so uncomfortable sat here doing nothing about it until they’ve got back to me when I’m anywhere from 30-36 weeks pregnant. My other daughter was born at 33 weeks so I’m worrying!!!

please what do I do??? Do I go to a&e???

OP posts:
Sillystrumpet · 23/06/2024 16:48

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Might be something wrong with your Maths. But it is still 4 glasses a week. I can assure you of this and you will need to trust us if you can’t work it out yourself.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 23/06/2024 16:49

Hopefully your sister has arrived and can help you focus on what to do. Surely with cramping it should be an emergency

TooLateForRoses · 23/06/2024 16:50

Sillystrumpet · 23/06/2024 16:48

Might be something wrong with your Maths. But it is still 4 glasses a week. I can assure you of this and you will need to trust us if you can’t work it out yourself.

I've asked for my post to be deleted as I don't think it will help OP. But thanks for clarification on the units

HooverHunting · 23/06/2024 16:52

Good luck!!

RLmadmum · 23/06/2024 16:52

Good luck!! X

BiscuityBoyle · 23/06/2024 16:53

Good luck op, what a shock. I hope you get seen quickly.

FrenchFancie · 23/06/2024 16:56

this happened to a friend of mine - she found out about the same time as you, had been drinking, doing aaaaallllll kinds of recreational drugs, had absolutely no idea she was pregnant. She was out clubbing the weekend before in a cropped top and her stomach was flat. She thought she had appendicitis but nope! Very pregnant!

her baby was fine - and is now about to leave primary school. No one ever believes that she didn’t know but she genuinely didn’t - it was the strangest thing because she went from being completely flat to - boom - pregnancy belly to - boom - baby in about 7 weeks!

i hope you get into assessment and all goes well. Try not to worry too much at this stage until you know what is what.

ThatVoodooThatYouDoooo · 23/06/2024 16:57

I know some will suspect I knew and I’m worried the midwife’s will think the same.

The midwife is not there to judge you, her job is to make sure you are as healthy as possible

Pigeonqueen · 23/06/2024 16:57

I hope you are seen quickly and find out the baby is okay and you can get some support.

BirthdayRainbow · 23/06/2024 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message removed as it quotes a deleted post.

But why requote?

DancefloorAcrobatics · 23/06/2024 16:59

Good luck OP, I hope all is well.

Ems1992 · 23/06/2024 17:00

Good luck!!! Hope everything is well x

Barney16 · 23/06/2024 17:00

I was 24 weeks when it occurred to me I was pregnant with my third. Baby number two was still tiny. I just thought I hadn't lost the baby weight and was just knackered. All was fine. Beautiful baby born at term.

Plantmother71 · 23/06/2024 17:01

What a big shock …. I’m hoping they are tending to you now and your sister is giving you love hugs and support. I know saying ‘don’t worry’ won’t help, but show yourself some care and love and please don’t be harsh on yourself. I know someone who was in a very similar position. It’s not unheard of x

OVienna · 23/06/2024 17:02

toomanytonotice · 23/06/2024 16:46

It could be an actual emergency though as op has a history of preemie birth and is experiencing what could be early labour signs at a similar gestation.

add that to no prenatal care so who knows what medical assistance the baby may need.

not something you fuck around with. I’d say if the above is the case, ed is better than wasting time trying to find the “right” dept and persuade them she needs seeing now.

Agreed.

Bobbotgegrinch · 23/06/2024 17:06

MoonQuartz · 23/06/2024 15:19

No weight gain at all? How is that possible?

It's entirely possible. When DP gave birth we didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour. She put on no weight during the pregnancy.

Happy to answer any questions over DM if you want but maybe don't start casting unfounded doubts on a thread where the OP obviously needs a lot of support. It's a shit thing to do.

Bobbotgegrinch · 23/06/2024 17:09

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 23/06/2024 16:28

My mind is boggling at how any woman can not have a massive belly in her third trimester.

I was showing in my first trimester 🙄
Not saying I don’t believe OP I just cannot fathom it.
How is it physically possible to fit a baby in there and not have a bump?

With DP it was a combination of having a small belly anyway, a titled uterus and a small baby.

UpUpUpU · 23/06/2024 17:10

I am a midwife and I’ve seen women who have the tiniest bump and you wouldn’t know they were pregnant. It can happen.

Bemusedandconfusedagain · 23/06/2024 17:12

VJBR · 23/06/2024 16:48

Some people have a bit of a tummy anyway.

Weirdly you can have a flat stomach and not show, either at all or until very late. I've never carried weight on my stomach, and didn't in pregnancy. Baby was just very scrunched up. I was very breathless and had terrible heartburn by 34 weeks, and the midwife and GP said it was basically because baby was squashing everything so much inside, but still barely a bump. I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me.

LittleBear21 · 23/06/2024 17:13

Gosh what a shock but well done for getting organised and getting an appointment. I hope things go well.

PixieLaLar · 23/06/2024 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Riversideandrelax · 23/06/2024 17:17

Sounds like you've got a good plan in place. Good luck.

Zone2NorthLondon · 23/06/2024 17:26

OVienna · 23/06/2024 17:02

Agreed.

No
Attend ED in an emergency, don’t attend ED just to be signposted to correct service (maternity). A GP and MW can sign post and refer
Assessment and treatment can be accessed in community without ED attendance
ED are busy,frenetic and overwhelmed. This can be appropriately managed without ED attendance as @Goldflamingo isnt describing an emergency

PinkiOcelot · 23/06/2024 17:31

Hope you’ve been seen in the unit by now and have a bit more clarity. Hoping you’re ok x

CosmicLove · 23/06/2024 17:34

@Goldflamingo congratulations and wishing you all the best xx

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