To think these are typical meal times/bed times in the UK

[Verybritishtimings]

Breakfast - between 6 and 8 (weekday/weekend dependant). Accept will be later if you have a long lie in - I have small kids so it doesn't happen.
Lunch - between 12-1.30
Dinner - generally between 6-8 - could be as early as 5 for small children.

Bedtime - between 9.30-midnight for adults under normal circumstances, no special events. Between 7-8.30 for youngish children.

I have a friend who constantly gaslights me about this. I'm crazy that my kids go to bed at 7 (they are ready for bed then and always wake before 7 regardless). I invite her round at 2pm and she brings HER OWN LUNCH because 'i eat so early and she couldn't possibly'. Is she trying to be every so continental or something?!

This is light hearted, don't care when people eat on their own time but my timings align with the majority of the population and the work/school day do they not?!

@TheBestFriend, time to yourself? Time to decompress after parenting/working? Not sure what's weird about it.

Just as another personal anecdote, normally we are rather earlier than that.

We normally eat around 5-6pm and are typically in bed by 9.30 - 10pm. But there are again, we are usually up by 6am in the morning.

The only reason I'm here now this late is that we've had guests round and they've just left.

I never said adult only time was weird, I just wondered what it was for, i.e. how you would actually spend it every night if that was important for you.

I'm just more used to parents and children going to bed at the same time after watching tv together or similar. And 'adult only' time occurring more in the day when kids are in school or do their activities, or when something is organised specifically.

Nowhere did the op said she invites her friend for lunch. In fact she says she has lunch between 12 and 1.30 and that she invites her friend to come at 2pm which is after OP's lunch window so clearly no food is consumed at that time. In which case, yeah, I don't think it's all that odd to bring a snack.

This weeks I have used my 'adult time' to watch Bridgerton, drink wine, read a book, deep clean the oven and organise/clear out my wardrobe. The time is very important to me.

I literally don't know any families with kids where viewing material overlaps and adults only watch what kids are also watching. Nor do I know any families where the adults have the same bed times as kids. Also if kids are in school, aren't the adults most likely to be in work? I definitely do not count that as 'adult time'.

Maybe you would but, as I said before, I eat when I am hungry so I would not be forcing myself to eat just because it is somehow more socially acceptable. I will be far more likely to pack a snack or, better still, bring snacks to share.

Watching non-child-appropriate TV, having a conversation about something "boring" without being interrupted, enjoying sitting down without anyone climbing on you, tidying up a bit without someone else untidying faster than you can tidy, eating chocolate without being pestered to give your chocolate to someone else and then feeling bad because they've eaten too much chocolate today, and sex.

Kids in Spain are different, they've been used to being around adults their whole lives, and they don't seem to need constant entertainment like British children do. And it's socially acceptable, to take them with you to social events, bars, restaurants. It's not like kids in those places behave perfectly either, there's plenty of Spanish kids hurtling around like cannon balls and everyone just gets on with it.

How does anyone not get adult only time while their children still sleep more than them (unless the extra is a nap while they are at nursery and you are working). If they sleep 9 or 10 hours and you sleep 8 then you've got an hour or two regardless of the actual time they go to bed.

My 4 year old doesn't tend to like Grand Designs and a glass of Pinot Noir 😂.

Also, morning from 6am on a Sunday 😊. Having a quick coffee to myself before the the children wake-up. Bliss.

Adults don't always enjoy the same programmes either. I was lucky that my kids and I had similar tastes. If one person isn't interested in watching something then they can always read a book or play quietly.

I did enjoy a morning coffee outside in the early morning while kids were still asleep though.

Your times are typical/normal and this is evidenced by things like school and work timetables. Most kids have to be in school around 8.30/8.45 so will have to eat breakfast around 7.30. School timetables always have lunch between 12 and 2pm. Most workplaces specify lunch to be taken between 12 and 2pm. Dinner times obviously vary but if you assume a lunchtime of 1pm then 6-8pm would be typical for adults. More like 5pm for young children who go to bed at 7/7.30pm.

Your friend is odd for making such a big deal of timings and suggesting that you're abnormal. Adults can eat when they want but it's much more typical for people to eat lunch at 12.30/1pm than 2pm.

I often have meetings scheduled at work for 2pm. No one eats their lunch in them! How would your friend cope in an office job where taking a lunchbreak 2-3pm would be frowned upon?

Here up north growing up:
Breakfast 8am
Dinner 12pm
Tea 5pm
Supper 9pm (usually ready brek) 😂

I think this nails it tbh. When plummy MIL visits it does feel like an endless round of cooking/ eating/ clearing up, yes it fills time, almost completely incompatible with ft work. My DC are adults now, when they were small we did :
Breakfast 7:45 ( up and dressed first)
Lunch 12:30-1
Snack 3:30/4pm
Dinner 6:30/ 7pm

Bed for DCs 7:30-9
Bed for adults 10 ish

Everyone up @ 6:30

MIL preffered timings are:
Breakfast 9/9:30
Lunch 1:30/2
Tea 4:30
Dinner 8pm

What are they watching on TV though together? I want to watch things that are clearly not suitable for a child and enjoy using the evenings to do so, especially in winter when it’s dark and cold outside.

Ds goes to bed around 8.30-9pm. He’s 4. He’s still up at 6am. 7pm bed and he’s awake from 3am. The only people I know with 7pm bedtimes have very placid children who sleep 12+ hours. If they only sleep 9 hrs it’s way to early.

We eat between 6.30-7pm.

Dh and I don’t watch tv on a regular basis, so not bothered at all about not having child free time to watch tv every evening.
We also aren’t in uk, but I don’t know any child that goes to bed at 7pm regularly unless ill.

But how can you not understand adult time? After a long day looking after children, surely you can understand why most parents want some child free time? I wouldn’t take my two young children out for a dinner with girl friends, nor do all my friends have children. A girls’ night in/out, a takeaway with my husband etc after a long day definitely is better without kids especially after you’ve spent all day with them!

@Icecreamcone100 - see those things wouldnt happen here. Children are always expecting to be out at dinner with friends, if both parents invited.
It wouldn’t occur to me to order a takeaway only for adults? It would be dinner, for everyone. why would I make children one meal, then order myself something different hours later?

We used to watch things like Coast, Time Team, Richard Hammond's Engineering connections, various history programmes.

We don’t very often go out for dinner together - one usually stays at home with the kids whilst the other goes out with friends!
A takeaway with friends isn’t unusual here - I am not going to keep my 1 and 4 year old up (who go to bed at 7!) to join us for a takeaway and wine with friends - that would be seen as very unusual here tbh! They go to bed and I get to enjoy some alone time with friends without my young children around…

I'd agree with you but couldn't get worked up about it...

I have breakfast about 8am
Lunch 12.30-1
Dinner around 6
Bed about 10!

Those are the times I'd consider normal too, though it's rare I'd eat breakfast as early as 6 unless I have an early start. I usually have breakfast around 7, lunch 12-12:30 and dinner between 6 and 7:30. Bed by 10pm.

Growing up we usually had dinner at 6, 6:30 at the latest. If my mum had to work late she left us a ready meal or prepared dinner as thought that 7:30 was late to eat. My mum never liked eating late (i.e. after about 7:30) unless on holiday.

Blimey, knowing I was going to be putting mine to bed and I’d be able to chill out for a bit at 7-7.30pm was the only thing that got me through the early years.

”Don't understand adult time.” WTF?

Totally agree - after being up since 6.30 with two children all day there’s no way I’m not putting them to bed when they’re tired at 7pm and enjoying a few hours peace and quiet to chill!

Guess that's the difference. As mine went to bed later they were not up early and I had a good hour to myself then.