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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these are typical meal times/bed times in the UK

239 replies

Verybritishtimings · 22/06/2024 18:57

Breakfast - between 6 and 8 (weekday/weekend dependant). Accept will be later if you have a long lie in - I have small kids so it doesn't happen.
Lunch - between 12-1.30
Dinner - generally between 6-8 - could be as early as 5 for small children.

Bedtime - between 9.30-midnight for adults under normal circumstances, no special events. Between 7-8.30 for youngish children.

I have a friend who constantly gaslights me about this. I'm crazy that my kids go to bed at 7 (they are ready for bed then and always wake before 7 regardless). I invite her round at 2pm and she brings HER OWN LUNCH because 'i eat so early and she couldn't possibly'. Is she trying to be every so continental or something?!

This is light hearted, don't care when people eat on their own time but my timings align with the majority of the population and the work/school day do they not?!

OP posts:
JayJayj · 23/06/2024 18:45

She’s not gas lighting you 🙄 she is probably as baffled by you as you are by her.

I get my little on up at 8, she’d sleep in longer if I let her. We breakfast between 9-10. We don’t have lunch until after nap she has snacks before. Dinner is about 7 depending on husband getting home or when I finish work.
Bedtime for all of us is between 9 and 10.

I find it more strange that neither of you seem to understand that not everyone does things the same!!!

mummyuptheriver · 23/06/2024 18:48

My kids wake, eat and sleep at those times but my personal body clock is that I am an extreme night owl, so if I have the choice I would eat at 2-3pm and 9-10pm.

BeachParty · 23/06/2024 18:52

Verybritishtimings · 22/06/2024 19:02

No, I do. Perhaps I didn't express it well but she gives off the distinct impression that I am the odd one and my timings are weird. She's making me doubt myself. And the fact that she just couldn't possibly eat her lunch before she arrives at my house (to accommodate a social engagement) compounds it.

Everyone's different, you do what's best for your family time wise.
For us it will be something like

breakfast any time between 8am and 9am depending on what time we're at work/college or whatever

Dinner (midday meal) 12pm

Tea. (evening meal) around 5pm to 6pm
Any later I start to get "hangry" lol 😁

Whyamiherenow · 23/06/2024 20:18

I often feel like a terrible mum in part of these threads. I never ever get my children to bed before 9. I’m not sad about this. It works well in our life and for our routine. Sometimes I do wish my 2 year old would go closer to 8. But they always go at 9. I’m usually in bed by 10. Often the 11 year old is up later than me (with dad).

We do however manage mealtimes along your lines. Breakfast at 8-10; lunch 1-2.30; tea 7.30 -8 ish.

CrimsonStar · 23/06/2024 20:26

OP, please, no offense, but you seem so dependent on other peoples opinions. If people on this thread will tell you that your daily schedule is not typical, would it bother you? If not, why are asking? Whatever suits you and works for you and your family is the best. Not everyone has breakfast, some children go to bed later than yours for sure, but who cares.
And about your friend’s comments - ask her directly why can’t she eat before coming to you or why is she even commenting on what time you eat. Perhaps she is not really a friend?

BingoMarieHeeler · 23/06/2024 20:59

Whyamiherenow · 23/06/2024 20:18

I often feel like a terrible mum in part of these threads. I never ever get my children to bed before 9. I’m not sad about this. It works well in our life and for our routine. Sometimes I do wish my 2 year old would go closer to 8. But they always go at 9. I’m usually in bed by 10. Often the 11 year old is up later than me (with dad).

We do however manage mealtimes along your lines. Breakfast at 8-10; lunch 1-2.30; tea 7.30 -8 ish.

So why feel like a terrible mum?? ‘I’m not sad about this. It works well in our life and for our routine’…?

Justontherightsideofnormal · 23/06/2024 21:09

Here is breakfast between 5-7am
lunch 12-1
tea anything from half 4 to 6pm ….. anytime after this is encroaching on bed time 😂
bed anytime between 7:30-9:30 (normally about 8:30.
Two adults in their 40’s who like sleep.

Adviceneeeeded · 23/06/2024 21:12

An amazing thing about being human, is that we aren't all the same and daily routines all vary and none are wrong!

S0livagant · 23/06/2024 21:13

Whyamiherenow · 23/06/2024 20:18

I often feel like a terrible mum in part of these threads. I never ever get my children to bed before 9. I’m not sad about this. It works well in our life and for our routine. Sometimes I do wish my 2 year old would go closer to 8. But they always go at 9. I’m usually in bed by 10. Often the 11 year old is up later than me (with dad).

We do however manage mealtimes along your lines. Breakfast at 8-10; lunch 1-2.30; tea 7.30 -8 ish.

No need to feel bad. Earlier is not better as long as the child is getting the amount of sleep they need and the routine aligns with natural daylight hours.

Jumpers4goalposts · 24/06/2024 06:57

I think your times are out. In this house breakfast for adults is 8-9.30am, children earlier because of school but same at weekends.

Lunch 1.30-2 but would be earlier or later depending on activities. I don’t think eldest DC’s lunchtime at school is until 1.30pm.

Dinner 6.30-7.30 depending on activities.

Bedtime for kids youngest 8.30-9 (She’s always been a late to bed babe) and eldest 9-10. When she was younger she was a 7.30-8pm child. I think they are all different and you have to go with what works for them.

Adults 10-12pm

pollymere · 24/06/2024 15:03

I never ever had my DC wake before 7am. If they did we told them to go back to bed!

Breakfast - between 7-9 on a weekday. Usually more of a brunch on Weekends.

Lunch - between 12-2pm, although today it was gone 2pm.

Dinner - Somewhere between 7-9pm. Anything earlier is tea.

And yes DC eat at these times. We usually have tea at 3-6pm depending on what's happening - literally just a drink and a biscuit or cake. When DC were younger this might be a slightly larger meal.

Bedtime was never ever early. They just didn't sleep properly and they certainly didn't need eleven hours 😂🤦‍♀️ ever. So often 8.30-9pm with them waking at 7 on a school day. Later at weekends. The older they got, the later it got. We used to encourage a "Being in Bed" Time where they could read and listen to music for an hour before turning the lights out.

Your friend is not gaslighting you. They are bringing food because you clearly don't offer them anything when they see you! Maybe have cake with them around 3pm next time?

Justontherightsideofnormal · 25/06/2024 19:15

@Jumpers4goalposts do you work from home?(I like the sound of a 9:30am breakfast) but By 9:30am I have gone to gym, walked dogs, had breakfast, been up for 4 hours and been at work for 90 minutes 😂

Jumpers4goalposts · 25/06/2024 21:25

Justontherightsideofnormal · 25/06/2024 19:15

@Jumpers4goalposts do you work from home?(I like the sound of a 9:30am breakfast) but By 9:30am I have gone to gym, walked dogs, had breakfast, been up for 4 hours and been at work for 90 minutes 😂

No I’m up 5.30am/6am and take my breakfast on the go even when working out the house. Eating too early makes me feel queasy. Need at least 3 brews though.

lilkitten · 29/06/2024 17:46

Breakfast for the kids is about right, lunch are dinner are similar to me too. But I tend to get breakfast about 10.30 once I've done all the school stuff, had a few coffees and worked for a bit, and I go to bed at around 1am (but I'm ADHD and am wide awake and active late at night)

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