To think these are typical meal times/bed times in the UK

[Verybritishtimings]

Breakfast - between 6 and 8 (weekday/weekend dependant). Accept will be later if you have a long lie in - I have small kids so it doesn't happen.
Lunch - between 12-1.30
Dinner - generally between 6-8 - could be as early as 5 for small children.

Bedtime - between 9.30-midnight for adults under normal circumstances, no special events. Between 7-8.30 for youngish children.

I have a friend who constantly gaslights me about this. I'm crazy that my kids go to bed at 7 (they are ready for bed then and always wake before 7 regardless). I invite her round at 2pm and she brings HER OWN LUNCH because 'i eat so early and she couldn't possibly'. Is she trying to be every so continental or something?!

This is light hearted, don't care when people eat on their own time but my timings align with the majority of the population and the work/school day do they not?!

We did a self catering holiday with MIL with a toddler and she expressed shock and disbelief at the idea of having a family dinner all together at 6pm. She genuinely expected us to feed the toddler all her meals separately, clear up and then do the adult meals an hour or so later. I would have done nothing but prepare meals and clear them away all week - not to mention that she wanted us to put the toddler to bed and then have adult dinner but said toddler was a non sleeper at the best of times and I would emerge around 9pm after the rigours of bedtime with absolutely no energy or appetite to do anything more than sit with a glass of wine. Add in the fact I was breastfeeding an eight month old baby, which also got a whole shedload of disapproval - I look back and wonder what we were thinking agreeing to the holiday at all!

Anyway, we said she could eat with us at child friendly times or on her own at 'adult times' and turns out she was fine to fit in with us after all - but there was definitely a weird snobbery about it. I don't know why or where it comes from, but she was adamant that eating dinner before 8pm was unbearably common, and that it is far more refined to dine later.

I think the mealtimes are fairly standard for people with young children but I have never put my kids to bed as early as 7pm. When they were small I used to pick them up from ASC at 6.15, home for 6.30, dinner at 7/7.30, then homework, shower and in bed for 8.30pm.

You had them in bed for 8.30. Which fits perfectly into the window of time between 7-8.30 the OP gave?

I think the rough times you suggest are normal. Everyone is obviously different but lunch at 3pm and dinner at 10pm doesn’t fit in with most people’s working day or with school. You don’t normally get a lunch break at 3pm at work if you work 8.30 to 5. Clearly some people are on shifts etc. but your times are average. I think it’s your friend who’s rigid if she can’t have a snack earlier than usual or eat later. I would just ignore it though and let her eat without making a deal of it. I think most children going to school would be tired eating late and going to bed late.

Breakfast 6.30am, lunch anytime between 11 and 12 noon, dinner 4pm, supper 7.30/8pm.

Different strokes for different folks.

However, I firmly believe that children need plenty of sleep at primary age and younger, for growth and brain development. DDs 5 and almost 3 are in bed by 7 every night, but have to be up at 6 for drop off at grandparents/for the older one to come to school with me.

Children that don’t have early working parents could probably manage later, hence the different strokes comment. Not, however, the poor soul in DD1’s reception class who falls asleep most afternoons because she goes to bed at the same time as her mum between 10.30pm and midnight.

Those mealtimes are perfectly normal but wouldn't work for me. I eat a brunch between 10 and 11.30 and then a main meal between 4.30- 6.30. I might have a hot chocolate or an egg in the afternoon if I get hangry.

obviously social events sometimes interfere with my preferred schedule. If that happens, like your friend, I'll bring my own food with me to plug any gaps. If I end up having to eat late (which to me means after 7pm) I'll just have a salad and a starter.

Does she have kids? When I was child free and single and slim I'd have coffee for breakfast an apple around 11, eat a proper meal at two ish, snacky dinner about nine or ten. My dc are away with their dad thus week so mealtimes will be when I am hungry

@InACloudOfSparklingDust I always cooked my daughter's dinner separately at about 6 when she was very small, and did so until she was about 7. I would never have wanted to eat so early and my husband wasn't home from work that at that time most nights anyway.

Your timings are pretty much exactly right for our family I could've written it myself! We have 2 boys (aged 2 and 6) and have the same issue with bed time/wake time. Whatever time they go to sleep whether it's 8pm or 11pm they are always up by 6am, so breakfast is pretty early in our home. I have a friend who has a completely different routine as her kids like a late lie in and then go to bed more like 10ish, so it's normal for them not to have had lunch yet by 2. It sometimes makes it tricky to make plans actually

We eat earlier than a lot of people. Your friend would hate me

Breakfast 8am
Lunch 12 noon
Dinner 5pm
Supper - whenever

Bed (teens) 1030 ish (adults anything between 10pm and 2am)

Interestingly mine have never really tantrummed, are exceptionally well behaved, exceeding academically etc and I think in part it’s down to getting plenty of sleep. Some of their friends are chronically overtired.

Id say this about my kids too. Ive got friends who point to their children going hyper at 9pm and say "they're not tired!" Mine get hyper like that when over tired....

Agree with the hyper behaviour actually being tiredness in small children.

Oh yes. We know when DD is getting tired because she has a massive manic/hyper phase before then crashing into an emotional wreck if left too long.

The timings are on the early side but normal I'd say.

I do think in the Uk we eat meals quite early and put kids to bed early, but if that's what suits, that's all that matters.Nobody in our house ever woke at 6, even when the kids were tiny, but they were naturally more night owly and so everything was a bit later than average. Even so, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at dinner at 5.30. Obviously if my dc had been up early and ready for bed by 7, we would have adapted accordingly.

The main thing I find amazing is my friends who work standard office hours and manage to get dinner , bath and bed all done by 7! when the kids were tiny we had them in bed by 8 and even then there wasn't time for a bath every night.

Yes I am very hot on sleep - for both my DC and for me! I also prefer to eat meals as a family - both from a time saving and values perspective. I guess that makes a difference. I also would have eaten my arm if I had to wait until 2pm for lunch. Stable blood sugar is also a value of mine 😂

Yep, normal times. If you work a standard hours job lunch hour will almost always be taken between 12-2pm. The canteens don’t usually serve lunch after that.

If you have to get up for work or school you need to be in bed 10-11pm ish to get enough sleep. And you don’t want to eat dinner close to sleeping.

If you have a commute for work you probably leave around 7-8am so need breakfast between that.

It all fits around normal working hours and school times. I know a lot of people work shifts, or more flexibly, or don’t work at all, but for the whole of my working life all of the many places I’ve worked we did those hours.

she was adamant that eating dinner before 8pm was unbearably common, and that it is far more refined to dine

There is a class element to this. Upper class types (and those who aspire to this) do tend to eat later imho. My very plummy mil is another example of breakfast at 10, lunch at 3.30, supper at 9.

Its a class indicator because the whole point of the definition of upper class is that they don't work, so no one has to be up at 7am. The "later meals" upper class day is structured around the meals being social events designed to fill an otherwise empty day - so breakfast is slap bang in the middle of the morning, lunch takes all afternoon and supper all evening. Entertainment could go on well into the night because no one had to be up the next day. All well and good when you've nowhere else to be.

Working people would have wanted to eat earlier, to fit in entertainment during the evening because if the knocker up is going to wake you at 6 you want to be in bed by 10.30pm.

This with bells on!! Lots of kids sleep less… and kids are chronically tired!! Most adults also don’t get enough sleep… has significant negative health effects for adults and developmental impacts for kids!

Yes, this is me too. We didn’t always eat/go to bed so early (as I mentioned, I grew up in Spain so 10pm dinner was more usual!) but generally life in the UK isn’t set up for that sort of timetable, so we adapted. My children are happy and thriving so it works for us.

The main thing I find amazing is my friends who work standard office hours and manage to get dinner , bath and bed all done by 7! when the kids were tiny we had them in bed by 8 and even then there wasn't time for a bath every night.

WFH is key for this in our house.

We have breakfast when we get up - normally 6am during the week.

Dinner at noon
Tea at 4pm.

Eating before you go to bed is quite unhealthy IMO.

Your timings sound normal to me, we wake at about 5.30, breakfast at 6-6.30, lunch at 12.30 and dinner around 5.30-6pm. Baby is bathed at 6.30pm and in bed for 7pm and we go to bed between 9.30 and 10pm.

Same!!

Maybe her and her children sleep later so it then pushes back all her meal times?