Who here sleeps well? And do you know why that is?

[loveyouradvice]

I would really love to hear from people who sleep well, and why they think it is.

At the moment, I think there are three groups:

• Those who learnt to sleep well as a child: it is just a habit
• Those who do lots of physical work or exercise and are so tired they just go to sleep
• Those who've learnt to sleep well later in life - probably using relaxation/meditation or similar

I used to be in the first group, but for various family reasons life has been tough, my sleep went to pot and I'm now "relearning" and yes, meditation surprisingly is helping me.

And if you've learnt to sleep well - how have you done it?

I tried melatonin and didn’t get on with it.

I'm a single mum, working flat out most of the time, and can go to sleep very easily. I'm only awake now because I woke after 4 hours on the sofa.

My most recent relationship had retired early, was never tired and could never get to sleep. My ability to be sound asleep within seconds infuriated him. 😁 I suggested he try working or exercising more, or helping me but he wasn't interested in any of those options. So I slept soundly while he fidgeted and wandered round the house, and in the end, gave up and went home.

I don't sleep well. I'm interested in trying melatonin but heard mixed opinions on how effective it is. Maybe I'll look into magnesium too.

DH sleeps like a log. We have similar lifestyles and childhoods so I don't know why he sleeps better than me.

No idea really. I don’t do many of the right things on purpose. I get up early, about 5.45 so I’m tired by 10. Scroll on the phone until I lie down. Often have a cup of tea at 8.30pm. I have a lovely comfy bed and I tend to close my eyes, run through things for the next day and I’m asleep in 5 minutes. Sleep for 7-8 hours.
Often at the weekend I go later and have a lie in.

Magnesium
Yoga nidra ( on YouTube - you don't even have to move ) and teach myself the words I need to fall back asleep which essentially involves imaging your body very heavy but starting with your toe and moving up
Staring at sky moment k wake up
To start circadian rhythm
No alcohol
No caffeine after lunch
No bad news stories

It probably is from having a busy day and genuinely being tired. I also really enjoy sleep - I definitely had to relearn how to sleep after I had my daughter as I had broken sleep and had to be up for work etc.

I would say now though I learned how to sleep through a relaxation technique taught a during pregnancy yoga where you imagine a warmth going through your body. I’m usually knocked out by the time I reach my Face if I started by imagining this feeling starting at the feet. Also simple things like no lights an distractions.

Oh gosh - this is me too - with the stories before sleep. I’ve always wanted to turn them into a novel. What time of day (or night?!) do you find it best to sit and write?

I love the idea of sleep training your spouse!

DH and I were both sleep trained as babies. I sleep well, DH really struggles to both fall asleep and stay asleep. DD and DS were both cuddled/fed to sleep for the first year or so. DD sleeps very well, DS struggles to fall asleep but then sleeps well.

DH's mum has struggled her whole life with terrible insomnia. All our other parents sleep well. Not to say that good sleep hygiene won't help, but I strongly suspect that for our family at least genetic factors are at play.

Group 1- always been a good sleeper. I’m now 53 and post menopause and still sleep well. The night sweats disturbed me a bit but wasn’t for long. I struggle if I have a bad night and found night feeds hard with my two children. If I do have more than one night where I can’t sleep( rare) I will take a herbal Nytol or antihistamine. Cannot function without 7/8 hrs.
Oh and both DDs sleep really well-I did always put them to sleep in their own room with blackout blinds at 7pm from 2 months old.

1mg melatonin. Only need a tiny bit and I’m out for the night.

I'm physically very active (1-2 hours exercise a day), get my 10,000 steps, take HRT, magnesium, wear earplugs, don't drink, no fluid for a while before bed (helps with waking too early for the loo), asleep by around 11 & naturally wake around 7. I sleep deeply.

I’m a natural good sleeper but can not sleep if it’s too hot. I try to keep the bedroom as cool as possible window open and heating off. It just helps me breathe and not be stuffy. We have also moved all phones out into the hall way. I’m sure I can hear high pitched buzzing from devices when it’s quiet. Everyone thinks I’m potty but they have all agreed that it’s a better nights sleep with out gadgets next to your head.
As others have posted no alcohol or caffeine and exercise.

I am a pretty good sleeper and always have been. The only thing that messes up my sleep is if I get woken up just as I’m dozing off. That seems to ‘use up’ my sleepiness and it can take me ages to get back off.

Just form my experience, you can buy the most comfortable bed and bedding in the world, but if your mind isn't at ease, you'll never sleep well. I really do think it's about having peace of mind and few of us have that all the time, if at all.

I do think a routine helps - almost as with small children. Go through your rituals and hopefully your mind will learn to switch off. Also, prepping for the next morning helps you to feel less stressed.

If I can't sleep I get up and get cold downstairs, reading (not watching stimulating telly). This sounds counter-intuitive, but someone told me you need to get a bit cold and then when you decide to get back into bed the warmth really hits you and you can fall asleep.

I go to bed early, fall asleep within 5 mins of trying and sleep through for 9 hours (sorry OP). Always have. I don't know why. I think it's just my makeup. Even if I had coffee and screen time before bed I could still do it no problem. I believe I slept well as a baby but no idea of what strategies my parents used!

With me I think I sleep well because I don't stir in the night. On the odd occasion I do wake up I can find it difficult to drop off again.

I'm a naturally anxious person and find it difficult to relax, which is completely at odds with this. I think sometimes my brain has just reached its limit and I need to sleep to process and recover and it just switches off!

I think menopause can have a real impact for some.

Group 1 here. As a family we prioritise good sleep habits. As tiny babies nap time was around 1/2pm- 3ish for mother and baby, preciously guarded in the dark, the cot/bed until sleeping through the night (10 weeks and 12 weeks). Nightly bath whilst still in nappies.

Now I am early to bed, early to rise. My phone tells me I average 8 hours a night. I do daily yoga and drink very little.

Group 1 here - always been a good sleeper and I have no idea why! That’s not to say I haven’t had nights where I have a bad night’s sleep - I do suffer from the meat/ wine sweats at 4am if I overindulge, I will wake up in the middle of the night if I am stressed and I do tend to wake up early in summer, but all these things pass and the vast majority of the time I sleep well.

DH is a terrible sleeper. He also cannot nap or sleep on planes (I am great at both!). It’s
not stress as overall he is much less of a worrier than I am, he does far more physical exercise than I do as well. But MIL has had insomnia since she had small children, so we think it might be partly hereditary.

Huh, I don’t think I’m in any of those categories OP!

I was a shocking sleeper as a kid and I think looking back a lot of that was just that I needed MORE - more activity, more stimulation during the day. Once I grew up and moved out I was still a bad sleeper occasionally but it got far better. Once I had my own children I had no problems falling asleep.

Nowadays (in the thick of parenting with 3 kids), I sleep well, all night every night, 11-6am ish, but am shattered all day every day. So I guess it’s not good sleep, quality or quantity or both. Embarrassing to be yawning all day at work! I fall asleep on the sofa most evenings at the moment. No idea why! Probably just because I’m fat.

A suggestion someone once made to me might help her.

Write down a list of the things you have to do/ think about before you go to bed. Somehow your subconscious thinks you've dealt with them so you can fall asleep more easily.

Menopause plus anxiety can indeed have an impact for some. When I had no anxiety but menopause I was desperate to sleep until magnesium citrate tablets and cream helped.

Now in past year or so noise and light sensitivity at night is generally ok but can disrupt me. Even with blackout blinds.

Whoops, think I was 1 and now 3.

I've loved my sleep since I was a baby and my two children are the same. I think it's just something that's in you.

When I was younger, my only problem was getting into bed before I fell asleep. I have dropped off at many a party, dinner or cinema. It was 'wake up and go to bed!'
Menopause had me waking a lot, and I never managed to get back into a sleep pattern, it lead to 10 years of insomnia.
I am currently sleep training myself.
No coffee after midday, no tea after 5.00.
All computers phones off at 9.00. Tele seems OK.
Hot choc at 9.00, then brush teeth etc and 'prepare the bedroom' curtains shut, lamp on, book by bed, jammies ready ie, nothing to do later but get into bed.
I go to bed about 10.30-ish.
I need weight, winter and summer, so with the lightweight quilt, I throw a fleece dressing gown over the top.
I am in the 3rd week, and from the second week I have been getting a good, deep 6.5 - 7 hours sleep. I need eight, but I am grateful for this.
If I mess up my routine I wake in the night.
I am lucky that I am not woken by noise, because there is none. If you have a person or pet that is disturbing, then that needs more thought.

Edit above post to say I have just damaged my arm, which interferes a bit and will need to restart, but so far, so good.

Bad sleeper. Chronic disease. It's normal according to doctors. Very little helps.

Before that I slept 8 hours without any problems.

My husband is an amazing sleeper, he can sleep sat down in a club, he once fell asleep sat on the wooden benches on the Breedon stand at Leicester tigers. His is because he went to boarding school, excess noise, lack of comfort and essentially being in public were his normal sleeping habits from the age of eight until 18. He has crap sleep hygiene etc, but when he goes to bed he’s asleep within minutes.