Who here sleeps well? And do you know why that is?

[loveyouradvice]

I would really love to hear from people who sleep well, and why they think it is.

At the moment, I think there are three groups:

• Those who learnt to sleep well as a child: it is just a habit
• Those who do lots of physical work or exercise and are so tired they just go to sleep
• Those who've learnt to sleep well later in life - probably using relaxation/meditation or similar

I used to be in the first group, but for various family reasons life has been tough, my sleep went to pot and I'm now "relearning" and yes, meditation surprisingly is helping me.

And if you've learnt to sleep well - how have you done it?

HRT plus lots of magnesium bisglycinate since age of 40 (peri)

• edited to add any other type magnesium I found to be a laxative

I sleep well.

I think it's just the way I am.

Caffeine, alcohol etc make no difference. I can have a double espresso after a boozy dinner finishing at 11pm and go to sleep fine. Obviously I don't do that everyday!

I can't nap at all though unless jet lagged

I’ve always been a good sleeper, DH and DD are the same. We all like it to be dark (DD and DH wear eye masks) and have a fan on.

We have an unofficial routine though, we always eat around 6pm and don’t snack in the evenings, go to bed around 11 (DH and I always at the same time, DD obviously earlier - she sleeps at 9) and chat for an hour then sleep around 12. We both literally close our eyes roll over and sleep within a few mins of saying good night.
DH struggles when I am away as he misses the chat time so thinks that helps him to sleep.
Neither of us really drink alcohol other than on special occasions, and we are reasonably active (walking, swimming, cycling). I only have about 6.5/7 hours sleep a night and will wake naturally at 7 most days.

I don’t remember ever struggling to sleep unless I’m really unwell or as a kid really excited for something. I never nap as it makes me feel horrible and groggy!!

Circadian hygiene.

Wake up and see morning light before turning on lights and king at phone.

Get at least 10 mins natural light 3x during the day and then see sunset light. After sunset low lights and no screens. You don’t need to see the sun, just natural light.

A cool room, window open and no phone/tech near my head.

I've always slept well despite breaking all the sleep rules

same here, so I can’t really offer any advice. The only time I struggle, is if I’ve got up late on a Sunday, had a lazy day (which is unusual) and then I’m not tired at bed time.

I find I don't sleep well when I have things on my mind.

It's taught me to deal with things that crop up instead of burying my head then laying in bed worrying about it.

Stressful job plus exercise (run three times a week) plus HRT have sorted me out.

Since hitting perimenopause alcohol has ruined my ability to sleep: if I drink more than about a unit of alcohol I wake up constantly throughout the night so I have now basically almost stopped drinking.

Exercise plus avoiding alcohol is pretty much guaranteed to help.

I've always slept reasonably well. But I can strongly recommed

1. Having the bed all to myself
2. Wearing socks to keep my feet warm
3. Not expecting to get 8 hours (6 to 7 is plenty)

I retired. Solved all my sleep problems. Quite frightening how stressed I was under the surface

@Spacie

1. Not expecting to get 8 hours (6 to 7 is plenty)

Agree with this. People sometimes fetishise the idea that they have to get eight hours because everyone is telling them it’s the norm. It’s really not necessary. I actually think sleeping too much isn’t great; it makes me drowsy and unmotivated if I get more than eight hours sleep.

Yeah genes play a big role. I've had my genome analysed and the results indicated I should be a light, restless sleeper, which I am. Psychological and lifestyle factors do of course affect how good or bad it gets though.

I have always slept well and never really had to put effort into it, however when I think about it I do follow some of the sleep rules eg
Similar bedtime and waking time every day
Plenty of fresh air and exercise including regular yoga practice
Minimal alcohol (I notice that if I do drink alcohol it sometimes impacts my sleep).

The following work for me:

No caffeine after midday.

No television in the bedroom.

Read a few pages of a proper book before going to sleep.

Don't turn a light on when going to the loo in the night.

Don't check the time if you wake up during the night.

Put dried lavender in your pillow cases.

Don't sleep during the day. Even for a few minutes.

Don't fall asleep in front of the television.

Need to have some kind of wrap/duvet/blanket snuggled up to my chin and across my shoulders.

Something to listen to that I really want to hear, gold age detective novels work well.

Nothing on my mind. If I'm engaged with something g from work, especially if I think I've not done very well, I won't sleep u til I've written it all out and worked out what I'm going to do including who I'm going to tell about the problem and my solution.

Nothing else really matters to me, I usually keep pretty regular hours and don't drink caffeine after 16:00 but so long as the three conditions are fulfilled, it will all be good.

I use a pillow speaker to stop DH hearing the audio book, if he is interested he won't fall asleep while I can even drop off while DH has the TV on pretty loud (without his hearing aids).

Magnesium upsets my stomach, just as a warning, particularly to anyone who has digestive issues anyway.

For me it’s helped a bit to stop classifying myself as a bad sleeper, and instead think of myself as a person whose sleep cycle doesn’t fit well in a 9-5 dominated world.

I’m more accepting now that I’ll probably always have a propensity to wake around 4.30am for an hour or two. It’s good to know that lots of people are the same, and not to blame myself so much for bad sleep hygiene/habits etc.

I’m grateful for the good sleepers in this thread saying it’s just how they are, I think it’s really helpful 🙏🏼

I live a very mentally and emotionally stimulating life. I sleep like a log as I am exhausted once the head hits the pillow.

My job is very faced paced, loads of people, lots of detail, lots of different projects. I'm also involved in other things that are emotionally very stimulating. I have a family with two teens with loads going on. And I drive 600 miles a week. Weekends are full with all the domestic stuff I don't have time for in the week.

I'm go to sleep at 1120 and wake up at 0620. I might go to the loo in the night but it's a kind of dream state really.

magnesium glycinate before bed and I sleep soundly

I struggle to get to sleep but once I'm asleep, nothing wakes me
My dad is the same, he slept through a burglary, burglar alarm and the police arriving
I was a child and also slept through the lot
Mum used to check we were both breathing as she said we terrified her

I used to be a horrible sleeper and had pretty much accepted it wasn’t going to get better. I could get to sleep OK, as I had built a solid routine and pretty much programmed myself to fall asleep to an audiobook. But I always woke too early, and once awake struggled to get back to sleep. Sometimes returning to the audiobook would help, but not always.

But two things happened. The first was that I started taking magnesium glycinate, which increased my average nightly sleep by 30-40 minutes. I was already pretty chuffed with even that much, given I was managing only 4.5-5 hours per night.

The second was that my new migraine neurologist asked if I had ever been referred to a sleep clinic for sleep apnoea, and if not, was I up for giving it a try? So I agreed, did the overnight monitoring at home, and a few weeks later was told I had sleep apnoea and would be prescribed a CPAP machine. And it turns out that a lot of the problem was due to the sleep apnoea because I am now sleeping well, up to 7-7.5 hours per night. Presumably because I am no longer waking myself up. It’s also made a huge difference to my brain fog during the day, which I had accepted as likely to be caused by menopause.

So try the magnesium glycinate. And maybe look at apps that record you overnight and pick up possible sleep apnoea. The CPAP machine is pretty quiet, and it’s been worth it to finally have my brain functioning properly again, and get proper, restorative sleep.

Learning my circadian rhythm and accepting it, when I go to sleep when my body is ready and producing melatonin I sleep so much better than when I try and make it settle at the wrong time.

Admittedly I have a delayed circadian rhythm meaning my sleepy time is 2am with a wake up at 10am (so not the most practical) but when I work with it, it’s the best ever sleep.

I sleep well now. It used to take me forever to drop off. I need absolute silence to fall asleep. I wear earplugs and have an eye mask to block out all the light. Having an evening routine has made the biggest difference. I get in my pjs nice and early, watch a bit of telly propped up in bed and lay down to watch telly at 10:30. Within 5 mins of laying down to watch telly, I'm ready to turn it off and don the sound and light blocking props.

I am not a great sleeper. What has worked for me is mostly accepting that sometimes I will sleep well and sometimes I will not and this is more about my hormonal cycle than anything else. I accept that I will struggle some nights. I take meltanonin on those nights. I know these phases won’t last forever and I will cope while it does last. Above all else, I will, eventually, get a good nights sleep and that will see me through.

Shed load of running and magnesium powder and oil.

I used to suffer from insomnia but now sleep so much better due to the above. It's joyous.

Yes! It's so good.