Who here sleeps well? And do you know why that is?

[loveyouradvice]

I would really love to hear from people who sleep well, and why they think it is.

At the moment, I think there are three groups:

• Those who learnt to sleep well as a child: it is just a habit
• Those who do lots of physical work or exercise and are so tired they just go to sleep
• Those who've learnt to sleep well later in life - probably using relaxation/meditation or similar

I used to be in the first group, but for various family reasons life has been tough, my sleep went to pot and I'm now "relearning" and yes, meditation surprisingly is helping me.

And if you've learnt to sleep well - how have you done it?

I cycle to work (16 miles round trip) - my sleep is vastly improved by that exercise.

No caffeine after midday. Routine (sleep 11pm-7am)

No tv or phones or even plugged in alarm clocks in the room. Keep it cool and well aired. Wool duvet which holds your heat and does not try to over heat you. Keep the room dark to sleep in.

I also discovered that I love not having curtains drawn, I don't need darkness to sleep in and I like being able to see outside all the time. Which goes against all standard sleep advice! So worth trying to see what works for you

Myself and my sisters were sleep trained as babies based on what my mum tells us (gina ford style) but obviously this was her own take as the gina books wasn't around in her day. My mum says back in the maternity wards when a head nurse was in charge and you stayed in for a week regardless to how you delivered the baby they had lots of good advice and support for sleep. We are all good sleepers to this day. My kids were gina babies and all sleep well. I did also have to sleep train my hubby (seriously) his sleep was so poor . Couldn't sleep at night.. couldn't get up in the morning. Needed the hallway light on (which i can't stand) needed the TV on. It took a good 6 months to get him into habits when we first moved in together and he always use to insist my ideas were silly. Now look at him.. he sleeps like a baby 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I used to before kids. I could sleep 10-12hrs no problem, if I could. I think it's largely to do with temperament. I always loved sleeping as a kid which is why it's such a killer having babies that just won't sleep! I'm a low energy introvert type so need a lot of sleep to recharge and feel my best. People that tend to be higher energy are those that need less sleep.

I used to struggle to drop off before I had kids. Then I didn't sleep properly for 8 years. Now I'm generally out as soon as my head hits the pillow. I'm up at 530 every day though, and I tend to stop working around 9,930 so i can read a bit before bed, so I'm usually knackered. If I work later, I find it harder to wind down.

I sleep well but I think it's just luck. I don't really exercise, no real routine...

Busy job so maybe decision fatigue just knocks me out

I'm not a worrier though - I'm quite laid back. My mum worries constantly and finds it hard to sleep

Exactly this. If it works don't knock it. Me personally and the whole family including my husband who previously needed a hallway light on (but he had sleep issues ) we like the darkness but your way does sound really soothing too. Just goes to show from this thread there's not always a right and wrong as long as it's working.

I'm group 3. Have had insomnia/sleep disruption of varying degrees for 30 years. Have managed to improve things drastically over the last six months.

No alcohol - is an absolute killer. No phone for two hours before bed, and no telly for 30 mins. No electronics of any description in your bedroom, full stop. No lights, no noises (ear plugs as necessary), cool bedding.

Eat properly, take a magnesium supplement, outdoor time every day for 30mins minimum - even if not exercising outdoors, being in natural daylight is crucial. Go to bed at a set time, get up at a set time. Learn a couple of meditation/relaxation techniques, and get out of bed if you're prone to middle of the night extended wakings.

Also cbd oil drops work as a short term fix when things are particularly difficult. The NHS Sleepstation online programme is well worth doing if you've struggled for years.

I sleep like a log, can nap in the day and still get a good 8 hours at night. Low iron helps! Also I do t tend to watch tv or anything in the evening so nothing much to stay awake for!

HRT. Menopause totally fucked my otherwise decent sleep.

I can't get to sleep without a book or podcast though. DH can just lie down in bed, turn the light out and "go to sleep" which baffles me. I have to read or listen to something until I'm just on the edge of sleep then put my book down and turn off the light.

I used to sleep well but now struggle a bit. Fortunately I have no stress in my life as I'm retired. I'm pretty active, exercise every day and walk everywhere. I drop off straight away after reading for a while but find I wake up several times a night usually from 3am onwards. Alcohol or no alcohol makes no difference. I like complete darkness and wear an eye mask. The magnesium sounds interesting, think I'll give it a try.

Good quality bedding and mattress. I don't sleep well on synthetic sheets or under a synthetic duvet. I need 100% cotton and a feather, down, wool, cashmere or silk duvet and pillow. I also need a mattress with natural fillings.

I've always slept well. Learned in childhood. No nonsense parents who always advocated what is now called 'good sleep hygiene' - bleugh - can't stand wanky names for perfectly normal things! Now 50 and still sleep well most of the time - thank you HRT - unless I'm stressed, then I don't sleep as well.

I generally sleep pretty well with the occasional bad night, and I can drink coffee right before bed, often fall asleep watching something on my phone and don't do a physically or mentally taxing job!

My mum who is much more active, working and doing a uni degree, and who drinks decaf tea only really struggles with sleep. I think it's just luck!

For late light summer nights, I close all the curtains at least half an hour before bed to darken the house. It signals to your brain that it’s night. It’s made an astounding difference to my ability to get to sleep in the summer months.

Also. HRT since peri set in.

I was a terrible sleeper as a baby and toddler, and no amount of sleep training helped at all. I could stay awake for days. My mother was a nervous wreck.

But from about the age of 7 onwards it was no trouble. I’ve been able to sleep deeply at the drop of a hat ever since. I’m nearly 50 and perimenopausal now and still (touch wood!) able to sleep when I want, for as long as I want, even if I’ve been scrolling on my phone for 16 hours and watching horror films and drinking gallons of coffee. I have a stressful family life (SEN parent) and job. I don’t meditate or exercise strenuously.

In short, no skill or learning or good habits involved in my case, just genetics / the luck of the draw. And I am very grateful, as I know from my DC’s sleepless early years how awful sleep deprivation is, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Having kids and a full time job. I'm up at 6 every morning. I don't nap when I get home and then go to bed early. I'm a teacher and I'm generally very drained by the end of the day. I'm asleep in about 10 minutes and, unless a child wakes me, would sleep straight through until 6 the next day

I have had very ugly bouts of insomnia in the past when I have been mega stressed and perimenopausal, but I usually sleep very well.

I go to bed 1/2 hour earlier than my DH. I have a TV in my bedroom. Others think this is a big no, but I like it. It is my treat. I put on the TV and watch something mundane or funny. It used to be an episode of friends. Whilst doing this I sit up in bed and have a bit of a pamper e.g. face cream, hand and foot cream. Sometimes I have a tea such as Pukka or Tim Tock Rooibos nighttime. These knock me out like a brick.

it does help a lot magnesium. For me in recent years I need darkness so blackout curtains plus minimal noise.

Peri/menopause completely kicked my arse until I discovered magnesium then my 2 best mates told me they take that or use the cream.

Until my mid to late 30s I slept anytime, anyplace, anywhere. Bar brief hormonal insomnia in teens and a spell for a year in early 20s when I used Nytol which is addictive.

My routine is camomile tea evenings, decaff tea 2pm onwards and no phone after eg 9pm and preferably a book.

I have tried nutmeg on hot milk which works, turkey (?!) which also apparently works. Hayfever tablets my doctor said can be used too as even the non sleepy ones make you sleepy. Yoga eg imagine lying on a beach or cloud and relaxing your limbs one by one helps.

I don’t think mine is or was hereditary but hormonal and maybe habit?

I don’t think it’s true that you’re either a good sleeper or you aren’t. I never had any trouble sleeping until my mid 30s, have done ever since. It’s how I respond to stress- if there’s nothing bothering me, I sleep well. If there is, I don’t. I can’t remove stress from my life because it’s pretty much the reason my job is well paid, so I’m trying to learn to let it go at the end of the day. The thing that has helped more than anything else is the Nothing Much Happens podcast. I’m also quite strict about sticking to a good wind-down routine, so on weeknights I make sure from about 8-8:30 I’m just chilling out, reading, watching tv etc. I don’t answer the phone after that time either, because even a relaxed, pleasant conversation makes my brain set off whirring. Same with messaging. And I go to bed at ten, because I’m an early riser and I think that is hard-wired- I wake up around 5 in the summer, and have to force myself to stay in bed later at weekends.

I’m a worrier which yoga did help.

Exercise during the day
Absolutely no alcohol at all- wrecks sleep, even one glass
No phone just before bed
Epsom salt bath followed by dark bedroom, listen to theta brain wave video on YouTube using headphones (theta brain waves calm the brain down to go into sleep mode)
Magnesium, melatonin and GABA supplements if still struggling

i sleep but my dog wakes me early
so perhaps because i get up early, i am tired
dh doesnt sleep
but he gets so tired and then naps in the day and it is a vicious circle. imo
what sort of magnesium is recommended?