AIBU not to be questioned by a&e staff over an injury that happened to child 15 years ago?

[HorribleTime]

Long story short, terrible accident when DS was a baby.
He fell and had a subdural haemorrhage and needed emergency surgery.
It was an awful time and even though there were no retinal bleeds to indicate shaken baby, we still had to ensure a full social services report which nearly made me have a breakdown.
It was all closed very quickly and he had no lasting damage / all milestones met so I’ve tried very hard to forget about it.
Sadly, he had to attend a&e yesterday due to a sporting injury I was concerned re concussion so I gave the doctor the history as the bump was on the same side as his original scar etc which worried me more.
He asked a whole tonne of questions in front of DS who obviously knows what happened but thinks like “ well it must have been a very high drop “ - it actually wasn’t - it was explained to us at the time that because he was under a year old that the side of the head is still quite soft hence the bleed but with no fracture.

He then nodded along to this, did some observations and sent him for an X-ray ( arm as slightly swollen due to the fall ) and on his return asked if he suffered any “ deficit “ since the injury as a baby.

I started feeling myself become tearful and said that all checks showed he was developing at a normal rate but he does have dyslexia ( I’ve always worried this was caused by the injury in some way or marked as dyslexia and it was in fact related in some way ) and he then asked what hospital he was seen at and if he was taken to a major trauma unit.

I couldn’t read him and have been overthinking it ever since.

I assumed all hospitals were now linked so thought every a&e doctor could see anything they wanted to so I don’t understand all the questions.

At the end he went to hand me a head injury leaflet and then said “ you probably know all this after having such a shock before “ which sounded kind but I am left feeling like he was scrutinising me and I don’t know why.

DS is 15, not 5 - he speaks for himself and answered all the usual questions himself so I can’t see why all the questions were asked.

Not sure why I’m asking here but DH thinks I am paranoid after what happened so I don’t have anyone else to let this out to 😢

youre being unreasonable but I totally understand why you are reacting like this. No one is at fault here and I’m glad your boy is OK. You didn’t cause dyslexia.

I don't think the doctor meant to bring up bad memories. Just to get a detailed medical history which only you can give. Your son only knows the details from you.

Yy he was just taking a full history. He didn't want to miss anything important. It must've brought up some horrible memories for you, though

You would expect them to be, but all hospitals are not linked and the doctor will not have been able to see the records if it your son was seen at another hospital.

I don't thinknthe doctor was trying to upset you, as pp said, just trying to get a thorough medical history.

Anything relating to head trauma in the past could be relevant. He's not scrutinising you or accusing you or anything like that. It's just to get the full picture of his history. It shows he's thorough and professional. Some doctors seem to know not a scooby about people when they visit hospital, even when past issues are extremely relevant. So please don't worry.

I assumed all hospitals were now linked so thought every a&e doctor could see anything they wanted to so I don’t understand all the questions.

Nope, this isn’t the case.

The doctor has to be thorough and ask about past medical history but I appreciate that it’s a difficult thing for you to have to talk about.

Yes you are being unreasonable I'm afraid. The dr was doing his job and being thorough.

It sounds like the doctor was doing a really good job of kindly taking a very thorough medical history.

You are (understandably) sensitive about the subject and surrounding events.

Reframe it as if something happened to you as an adult to take the emotion out of it, something like being in an RTC and breaking a vertebrae and then 10 years later having a fall from a ladder which hurt your back. Both accidents, both seemingly unrelated but you would tell the doctor about the first one and any ongoing side effects even if they had been healed quite some time.

He was also checking to satisfy himself that the injury this time was not non accidental.

Yeah, you'd think all hospitals would be linked but this definitely isn't the case even in the same Integrated Care Board (the new CCGs). I was appalled when my doctor couldn't see that I had been given antibiotics at the walk in centre and also when podiatry couldn't see my ankle x-ray.

I don't think you're feeling unreasonable at feeling overwhelmed as it made you re-live a clearly very frightening time. However, it sounds like the doctor was simply doing his job. Medical history has to be checked and recorded. Despite your son's previous hear injury being a number of years ago, they have to consider this and the possibility of any problems stemming from it. I'm sure they didn't mean to cause offence etc., but I get that mum guilt stays with you (it always will, even though you know you've done nothing wrong). Hope your son is doing ok x

NHS staff can only see medical information that is on their system or on the national spine (shared system) and are only allowed to access information that is required for that incidence of illness or injury. So for example if you came in with a broken arm, I wouldn’t be allowed to access your maternity records, because that would be a breach of your data. So a practitioner wouldn’t be able to access anyone’s full medical history just on the off chance unless there were very specific circumstances.

In the same way, as NHS staff we aren’t allowed to access our own medical records or our children’s. There has to be a clinical reason.

In cases of a previous head injury, it absolutely is relevant and important, and the doctor would need to go into detail about it not to make you feel bad, but to ensure there was no risk of lasting injury that could be exacerbated by another knock. Think of your brain has an iPhone, and the skull as a phone case. You might drop your phone once and the case protects it, and it’s fine. You might drop it hundreds of times and it’s fine. But if you drop it once at the wrong angle and it gets a tiny, practically invisible crack in it, all it might take is one or two more drops for the phone to break. The doctor is checking the phone over in detail for tiny cracks, not judging the fact you’ve dropped it.

It's going to be fine. My son aged 3 ish developed two black eyes by pulling a leaf of a table onto him one day then falling on the other side the next day! I had to take him to A&E and as a student nurse at the time knew that 2 black eyes could be a sign of abuse. At this stage his elder sister was rarely out of A&E suffering from dislocating elbow. I felt awful. It's just one of those things mum guilt can be a terrible affliction. My babies are 36 and 38 now!

You poor thing, what an ordeal you all went through and this must have brought it all back.

The doctor will have needed the full detail of his previous injury, which you can give but your son can't, obviously! Nothing you've written sounds off to me (as a complete lay person) but it's no wonder you're upset. Be kind to yourselves for the next few days.

The doctor wasn’t intentionally being unkind but needed a detailed history. It is likely that he wouldn’t have had access to previous notes from 15 year ago. Hospitals aren’t usually linked so if it was a different hospital he wouldn’t have been able
to access old notes and even if it was the same hospital, it was 15 years ago so there’s a very good chance they would’ve been paper notes which will be off in storage somewhere with hundreds of thousands of other sets of notes, and potentially not even stored on the hospital grounds so he wouldn’t have had easy access and would’ve involved several hours of waiting to get them.

Even if in the same hospital, notes from 15 years ago may well not have been uploaded into the electronic system which would be all A&E had access to. If it was a different trust, no chance at all.

Not sure what you're saying here. Can you explain?

You're being paranoid. Your 15 year old son can't answer questions on something that hapoend when he was a baby. That why the Dr is asking you.
No...not all information is shared on the system and between hospitals.
And finally, accidents that happen to the head when little can affect them later in life. Years later! With a new head injury then the Dr is asking you thr questions so he doesn't miss anything vital.

I'm so sorry. I understand. I was asked a load of questions about why I didn't breastfeed my son when he was in hospital. He was 6 years old and in because he had reflux.

Don't worry, it doesn't sound like the doctor was concerned you were an abuser or neglectful or anything. Just getting a full history. I think dyslexia is more hereditary rather than caused by injury, so don't feel bad about that

In a 15 year old I doubt this would be the way a Dr would go about determining this.

The dyslexia wasn't caused by that OP don't keep thinking it. Millions of people who were never knocked on the head as a child are dyslexic.

I'm have dyspraxia and there were no head knocks involved - I was just born that way - irritating but true.

I do understand though - always wondering "what if?" I was assaulted some years ago and ended up with quite a nasty head wound (remember being wheeled out of A&E cubicle and suddenly realising all the blood on the walls was mine) then developed epilepsy about 6 months later... I still wonder if that would have happened if my head hadn't been hit half a dozen times with a large vase but logically I know it could have happened either way and the neurologist says the same

The doctor was just getting a proper history. I'm sorry that was so uncomfortable for you, it must have brought back so very hard memories

You're not being unreasonable, it must have been so upsetting and scary. I would have been tearful and shaken as well.

I don't think the doctor was unreasonable either, in that he had to be thorough; ideally these things would always be handled with sensitivity, but health care professionals are so overstretched and under-resourced at the moment, the niceties can go out of the window and it's easy to become a bit desensitised when you're overwhelmed and knackered.

You've done nothing wrong, and I'm sure the doctor didn't think you had done anything wrong. You didn't cause his dyslexia. Be gentle with yourself, you've had to relive that terrible time while also worrying about your son, so you're allowed to feel a bit fragile.

Sounds like he was doing his job but with poor bedside manner, I’ve noticed many well meaning doctors upset patients or families by being abrupt or rude-sounding. Sometimes being smart in one way (academic/medical) means you’re not so smart in other ways (social)!