to wonder if a high ponytail sends a message I'm unaware of?

[AuntieWithAttitude]

I was watching a friend's kid after school and told her about a summer camp where I used to work. We often helped the kids put their hair in 'camper buns'—a messy bun right on top of their heads. She asked me to do it for her, but didn't like it, so we ended up with a super high ponytail instead. She loved it and had fun swishing it around.

When her mum saw it, she commented on how high it was and then lowered it.
I didn't really think too much of it, until today on TV a character wore a high ponytail, and other characters remarked on how high it was, saying things like 'erm, are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?'.

Am I missing something about the significance of high ponytails? I can be bad at this stuff, subtle cues and such, I'm wondering if I've caused offence to my friend somehow. She seemed really weird about it. Don't want to make the same mistake again if I've misunderstood the significance of something.

Yep this was what it was like at my school in the 90’s

wtf

Which other word would you prefer to be used instead? The word chav describes a certain type of person that exists and that most people can instantly identify.
Calling them by another name or somehow not referring to them at all doesn't mean that they will cease to exist as a group. I'm quite old and remember a time before the word chav was in common usage, back then we used different words but everyone knew what type of people we were referring to.

Those very low ponytails (tied at nape of neck) can look a bit middle aged.

oh shush, you awful bore.

why is mumsnet full of the dullest type of snobs?

the vibes you're giving off are 'suburban mum without an original thought in her little head, who's desperate for approval'

try and be more interesting.

I enjoy mumsnet in the main but quite frequently you're reminded that it's populated with so many sad little Hyacinth Buckets who are obsessed with the class system.

I'm curious how old you are OP, as high ponies were seen as chavvy and common early to late 90's, as it was a common hairstyle with scrunchies and hairspray for tracksuit wearing youths and working class adults, hence the phrase Croydon facelift and highlighted by comedy sketch shows like Little Britain's Vicky Pollard and Catherine Tate show etc. But I imagine that is quite dated now tbh, as it isn't a common hairstyle anymore. In fact, you are more likely to see a high ponytail on a middle class gym goer these days. Is there an age gap between you and your friend?

Haaa yep I’ve always heard it called the Croydon facelift.

846th mention of a croydon facelift.

Snobbery and now ageism. Lovely 🙄

A lot of the opinions here feel quite dated! There's a 90s/00s revival for gen z and slicked back ponytails are popular again.

Wasn't there a little part of the nape with no make up on geisha?

Heaven forbid!

I think it’s all about something in between.

She said sneerily.

Perhaps the “old folk” think gen z is chavvy! 😂

I definitely think some gen z attitudes are a bit off the mark.

Edited to add I didn’t mean that as unkindly as it might have sounded. But gen z attitudes do come with a lot of rejection of things that have gone before, in a way that I think has not been so profound in previous generations.

Agreed. They always dullly troop on to these threads to educate everyone on 'codes', 'tells', and what is 'infra-dig'.

I feel sorry for them to be controlled by something so regressive and narrow minded.

Ever tried changing a box of cat litter with a waist length pony tail, especially a high one?

That isn’t untrue BUT this thread actually isn’t about people obsessed with it. It’s about people who were asked to describe a reaction. If the reaction is a class-based one, what do you want us to do? Just say “ I have no idea whatsoever what the issue could be? Nope. Nothing.” 😶🤐

I think there is a big difference between awareness and understanding and being controlled by something.

I think every generation feels that way about younger generations. I'm a millennial and I don't understand some of their attitudes and trends but I don't think I'm supposed to!

To be honest, there are worse types in this world.

And shush is rude. Sorry if that code of conduct is too “ suburban” for you, but it is.

Without knowing the mum or child it's all speculation,.
Practically it can cause headaches, traction alopecia, inability to wear a bike or other riding helmet, or even a sunhat.
Socially people get a bit judgy it seems.

Unlikely to be a sexy hairstyle issue (though who knows what people think) or an anti-rapist issue (top tip from the kick boxer - a demo would be good. My prison officer friend says buns instead of ponytails for similar reasons.)

You could always ...ask your friend what the issue was.

I've always worn them, never too tight or right on the top, but mine always ends up looking messy as I have curly hair so it does what it wants and I just have to live with it. I have masses of hair and some days(and in the gym) I just need it off my face and the easiest thing is a high pony tail.

Yes I was trying to explain that to my mum the other day. ( She’s now in 70’s and has “grown up “ against” her parents’ generation and watched my generation grow up.) She said ( rightly in my opinion) she finds the difference is that other generations were happy to evolve and accept the differences were of their era. She feels this gen z are more aggressive about telling the whole world that have had it wrong all along and to have no patience for those with different values. This rang true with me as I certainly tried to moderate my language/ conversation etc round my grandparents.