To hate icebreakers

[virgocatlover]

I hate when someone at work decides it's a good idea to have 'icebreakers'.

'Tell us something no one knows about you'
'Tell us three unique things about yourself'
'Tell us about your perfect day'

Etc etc

I hate it. I'm a private person and don't want to engage in this. It may not be a big deal to some people but I find it bloody awful.

Ye they can be very cringe and formulaic

ew no I hate them as well! I’m not that interesting a person

I’m with you, OP. I’ve got a team building day coming up, and I think I can feel a sickie coming on (and I’ve never pulled a sickie in my life)

We had one the other week "what keeps you awake at night", so I said my cats 😂. I wasn't going to get all deep at work to someone I don't know.

It's tedious, I remember having to pick an item of my clothing and relate a funny story to it. This was in social services when I had enough to do without attending stupid team days.

I agree. However, this is MN, where people can't cope with the things most of us take in our stride.

What is it with Mumsnet and never wanting to share any information about themselves ? As a trainer I would never ask anyone to get up and do a song and dance routine but asking the group to write their 1st job on a post it and asking to guess who's is what isn't too intrusive surely ?

But what’s the point when you know lots of people hate this rubbish, and it causes anxiety when you don’t have any ‘fun things’ to tell everyone. When your home life is a drudge morning till night caring for a profoundly disabled person you don’t have time for fun stuff you’re happy to have time to sleep. I don’t want to make up shit to say something ‘fun’ and I don’t want to be giving out personal details, Give people a badge or sticker to write their name on if you want people to know who everyone is.

I agree - people really should be more aware of this now. I don't pretend to be even remotely attuned to what neurodivergent people need but at least I am aware that they may need something different to the normal extrovert model of behaviour.

But why? If it's a work thing, you ask name, job title, maybe how long they've been in the business and a very brief summary of what they do.

If it's a non-work thing, like my first aid course, you ask name, maybe job or volunteer role and why they want to do the course (might just be "because my certificate is up for renewal" and that's fine too).

There's really no need to play silly games.

It's irrelevant how intrusive it is or isn't. Its personal information that has nothing to do with my current role and/or ability to do it, ergo no business of my colleagues or employer, and therefore inappropriate and irrelevant to share at work.

Today I was supposed to attend a training course via Teams, the icebreaker was to turn your camera on, introduce yourself and tell us of a time in you life that you would like to go back to.
As I sat there listening to 10 other people before waffle on I just became so overwhelmed with anxiety that by the time it was my turn I was already crying and then totally freaked out and clicked the 'leave' button and then 'appear offline'.
My manager told me I was overreacting when I spoke to her but as someone with depression and anxiety about past experiences it's already a daily struggle not to spend too much time dwelling on the past and to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay.
I did try to rejoin the training a little later but they wanted us to work in groups but by this point I was so overwhelmed I wouldn't have been able to to utter a single word so I left again.

This thread has helped me feel a lot less weird about not wanting to share personal info at work 🙂

@LondonBound88

"I don’t think these exercises are inclusive; they seem quite ableist."

Agree 💯

I once worked somewhere that took the to the next level; everyone (about 80 people) had to tie a balloon around their ankle and go round bursting other people's balloons until only one person/balloon was left

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Do you work in an organisation with HR? And/or does your organisation have any kind of focus on mental health and wellbeing?

If so, on one or both accounts, I'd chat with HR about this especially given how dismissive your manager is being about the impact on your mental health. I wouldn't necessarily make a huge deal of it, but feeling so overwhelmed at work that you have to leave a meeting isn't acceptable at all