Discrepancy in attitude towards school fees and nursery fees

[Happysallie]

I find it very curious in the various debates around school fees that:

1. School fees at an avg of £1,250-1,500 pcm is the preserve of the rich due to the sums involved; but

2. Nursery fees at an avg. of £1,250-1,500 pcm is… just an ordinary expense that parents should plan for

Every parent of a child under four is effectively paying the equivalent to a private education, probably at a far earlier stage in their careers / earning power.

No observation on private education right or wrong, just bizarre to see people spending £1,500 a month on private school as impossibly wealthy while most parents I know are scraping by, begging and borrowing, fund £2-3k a month in nursery fees.

This more an observation at the acceptance of insane nursery fees, than the cost of private education!

@drspouse that’s great that you could arrange to only do 3 days a week and receive gov support form age 2.

I live in a high cost of living area and everyone I know’s children is at nursery 4-5 days a week. Mainly 5 days.

I don’t know many who sent their kids to nursery full time, especially if there’s a second mat leave in the middle of the first kids nursery years. So it’s 3 years of nursery with funded hours for the last year with the possibility of only paying for a few days a week.

Why do we accept that nursery fees are something manageable that parents can cut their cloth to afford, when private school fees are seen entirely differently? It’s the same amount each month.

It’s really not. Private school is not just the fees is it, you know that. Uniform, extravagant trips, fees that rise with each school year.

You also know that if you don’t pay for nursery you probably have to stop work. Not so with school.

I also think there's a big difference between managing to afford something because you have to, and choosing to pay for something when you don't have to.

Had to use savings to get through nursery 😔 - luckily budgeted for a bit of a hit.. but nursery prices rose a lot! That was as well as lifestyle changes to save money and working part-time.

@BingoMarieHeeler

It doesn’t matter that without nursery you have to stop work, and without a private school you don’t.

The point is the cost to the parent in terms of having the cash to pay. We seem to think the cost for nursery is something parents need to suck up and is attainable - but that to be able to afford the same sum on private school fees is only manageable if rich.

They are huge sums of money - but I find the outrage about private education ludicrous while also being told I just need to ‘cut my cloth’ to afford my enormous monthly childcare bill.

@trampolines sorry to hear, I don’t think that is u usual.

It should be affordable to work, pay your bills, and have two young children. That so many are working just to not derail their careers, at a loss, is incredibly frustrating.

We planned for nursery fees but then I had twins.

I stayed at home because I didn't earn enough for two lots of nursery fees.

Only rich people use full-time nursery from 10 months to school age and pay full fees.

If on universal credit a large chunk is paid for, even for people on above average salaries.

Free hours kick in at 3. This makes school nurseries pretty much free.

People work opposite shifts and call in family help to minimise nursery fees. People work part time.

Nursery fees are one of the reasons so many women are SAHM’s or work part time until their child starts school.

I don’t know where you see this narrative that nursery is affordable and parents just need to suck it up to pay the fees. The narrative I see everywhere is that childcare is extraordinarily expensive, I see people going to great lengths to avoid full time private nursery, whether that’s cutting their hours, getting family help, using childminders, etc etc.

Missed the point there.

The issue is that parents paying extortionate nursery fees are often brushed off, what were they expecting, it’s just a short time etc…

… but they are having to find the same (enormous) sums as private school parents.

It’s often because it’s very temporary and doesn’t come with lots of extra costs. We pay private nursery fees, we know it’s just for the nursery years and we get tax free childcare and funded hours which bring down the cost. With the 30 hour funding we pay £609 a month after the tax free childcare. We chose to have a big enough gap that we’ll only have one child in nursery at a time. We couldn’t sustain it for the whole of education, and we could afford private school at £1500-£2k a month.

Secondary school is 7 years. Y7 to Y13. Or are you talking about prep v senior, transfer at Y9? Not many transfer in fro state at that point 8n my experience.

No, there’s a lot of uproar about nursery fees- comes up constantly.

The point is the cost to the parent in terms of having the cash to pay. We seem to think the cost for nursery is something parents need to suck up and is attainable - but that to be able to afford the same sum on private school fees is only manageable if rich.

I think you’ve worded your initial question in a way that isn’t going to get you the answers you’re looking for @Happysallie

Your OP implies that you’re saying ‘why do people think private school is expensive, if they paid for nursery?’ When I think what you actually mean is ‘why do we acknowledge private school is a privilege, yet similar nursery fees are just accepted as something we have to do?’ I think there has been a lot of crossed wires. Hence why everyone is saying the same things, and none of it is the answers you’re looking for.

There's no alternative to childcare costs for preschoolers if you need to work to keep a roof over your head.

Its perceived as a temporary pain. There's government support in the form of universal credit childcare relief, tax free childcare, funded hours.

There's no truly free childcare provided by the state (funded hours are the nearest you get, or maybe the childcare funding on UC for low earners).

There's a lovely alternative to private school - free state schools.

I don’t see nursery fees being brushed off anywhere. Everyone knows they are a massive impact on people. even the government acknowledge it hence there is help for many people with free hours, tax free childcare and tax credits/UC.

They don’t have to find the same sum as a private school parent. They choose to do so. Thats likely the key difference in attitude/sympathy. There is a free/state funded alternative, which there isn’t for nursery.

We don't accept it! We just don't have a choice if we want to continue to work!

Not very many people would choose to pay it if we didn't have to. It's a shit system, plenty of countries gave excellent affordable childcare that most of us would love to gave access to. But we don't so what can we do?

I am getting your point now OP but don’t think you’ve worded it well. I thought you were saying something along the lines of being able to afford nursery means you could afford private school. But you’re saying that £1500 a month is agreed to be an extortionate amount for private school and should be viewed equally as extortionate for childcare and parents shouldn’t have to pay such a huge sum for nursery just to be able to work. Is that right? If so I totally agree. Nursery fees are astronomical. I don’t know what the answer is though. Nurseries need the coats to be that high to stay afloat so I suppose more government funding is what’s needed.

@Overthebow our nursery fees are twice yours, with the tax-free childcare etc.

It would cost the same to send them to private school.

I had not factored private education into the cost of having a child (I’m not in that income bracket), but I’m basically paying it now (and for years to come - extended if I have another child).

Only rich people use full-time nursery from 10 months to school age and pay full fees.

This. I don't really know anyone who did this. People combined part time & flexible work, family help, much cheaper childminders etc, because nurseries are very expensive.

I never paid anything like 1250-1500pcm per child and my youngest is only 4 and i live in the expensive south east. Childminders are cheaper.

Yes, this.

Theres so much ‘oh don’t have children if you can’t afford them’ around nursery fees, but then spend the same sum on a private school and the conversation is ‘wow these people are so rich and out of touch’.

There really isn’t that much outrage over VAT on private schools. It will only affect a tiny number of people in the scheme of things and it’s just not on most people’s radar.
Its just there are lots of Tory employees on MN.