Who should be denied cheap flight set up?

[Wayda]

My younger brother is a pilot. For 5+ years I have been lucky enough to get access to very discounted cheap flights. Appreciate that. Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise (single mum). My brother recently mentioned that I along with our other brother need to figure out who will keep the cheap flights. Pilot brother has 5 spots which he can divvy out. He has recently become serious with a girlfriend who he wants to give the discount to.

My brother (not the pilot) is on a far higher salary than me and does not have kids. Yes, he travels more than me but that is due to him having the time to do so. This brother also loaned my younger brother some money to live off whilst training so I think feels entitled to the discounts. He probably earns £80k. Anyway, when we met at the weekend he told me “you had a good run”! The cheek! Assuming I should give up my spot.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother. I know it may seem entitled but I’m more hurt by the lack of consideration.

AIBU?

Well done @HollyKnight - you’ve just explained Staff Travel to someone who has been using it for decades!

Can't you both stay on it and then you just pay for your child full price?

With staff travel most places you can’t just pop on-line/into an office and do a single booking for a group of two, with just one passenger on a discounted rate and the other as a full fare.

You’d need to do two separate bookings which can open up a whole can of worms when it comes to seating and (worse case in some systems) possible offloading due over sales.

I would agree with brother to have 2 tickets every other year.

So you get a cheap holiday with kid every other year. (Maybe swap say 1st July so both can plan a holiday in any calendar year)

He gets a holiday with whoever he wants to take.

Assuming he doesn't always want to go alone?

Yes. There are many reasons why people end up single parents, and I don't usually feel the need to judge their choices or their bad luck. But equally, I don't feel I should have to subsidise their choices or their bad luck, certainly not to the point of being personally responsible for ensuring they can holiday abroad, and it may well be that her parents and brother feel the same.

and it may well be that her parents and brother feel the same.

Being as the below paragraph is from OP first post it's probable that that's the case.

Parents witnessed this and did not say anything about their spots. If I were them I would try and help out a single mother.

A very sensible stance, KTheGrey
Assuming can be unwise, but that includes the assumption that someone's automatically deserving purely because they are a single mum

I think the fairest thing is that you get one and your brother gets one, you pay for your child. Or one year you get two and one year he gets two?

There is also the fact that your brother helped finance the pilot training, so this is possibly a bit of quid pro quo? Ultimately, if your younger brother felt strongly that you should have both tickets, he would have allocated them to you. He didn’t- he let you sort it out between you, which is fine.

You feel entitled to have both tickets because you are a single parent. But when it’s a perk/gift then there really isn’t an entitlement to anything. I agree that your brother should probably have handled the conversation better and had a discussion with you about it so you could both understand the others’ point of view. In his position I’m not sure I’d agree it is fair that you get 2 tickets and he gets none. How sure are you thar your brother can definitely absorb the cost? Maybe he’d have to cut back and go less often. Given you’d still have one tickets, perhaps he thinks you could do the same?

I’m not surprised your parents don’t want to get involved in their adult children’s small issues- I don’t think they should, either. You are grown ups, sort it out between you and stop trying to get mum and dad to step in (and presumably tell your brother off to make him do what you want). It’s not up to them to intervene.

Or, why don’t you ask your parents to give up a spot? If your brother is selfish to not give you his spot, why aren’t they in the same position?

Because the DB who owns the free flights has not asked his DPs to be included in this, therefore he wants them to carry on receiving them.

I’m curious. How much do your holidays cost, excluding the flights, and where do you go to’? You’re post sounds like you do something amazing, rather than a villa -and- pool type of holiday.

“Has helped my child and I experience many things we simply would not be able to otherwise”

Maybe if you give us a budget, people can suggest holidays which you may enjoy, without relying on these freebie flights?

So has your brother not had any, whilst you had 5 years for you and daughter?

There are 5 spaces currently taken by:
Mum
Dad
DBro
OP
OP's child

Pilot brother now has GF and rightly wants to give one space to her.

DBro has asked OP to give up one spot but this will mean in effect she can't use the discount as it would mean sitting separately to her DC on the plane

The OP still not back? Funny that.

Instead of Who should be denied cheap flight set up?
the question should have been: "who should gratefully accept cheap flights from generous brother"?

Cheap flights are a thank-you for helping him out during training still seems the fairest way to go, as opposed to play the entitled spoilt child.

You are being a CF. The fact that your parents said nothing makes me think that you are in the habit of being entitled and expecting others to pay your way. I'm sorry that you feel that your child is missing out, but that is sort of the breaks if you are a single parent on a not good income. There is no real reason why your other brother should bend over backwards for you. Also, I hope that you have shown your pilot brother some appreciation and not just taken, taken, taken.

Surely the fair way to do it is that you and your other brother each get a discount spot and you pay full whack for your child? You have had 2 discounted spots for ages, so surely your brother should benefit from one now.

Doubt she’s even don’t a bottle of wine as a thank you. Probs deserves the wine more you see

One for your brother and one for you would be fair. You can pay for child, still getting a deal

"I spend a lot of time out of the house to provide for my child and those cheap holidays are precious as they allow us to reconnect."

Could you reconnect without having to fly anywhere? A holiday in Britain perhaps?

Could you and your bro have one each and you pay full price for your child?

or you and your son have it every second year. (Starting with this year; your brother is acting more entitled than you imo!!)

The fact that your parents said nothing makes me think that you are in the habit of being entitled and expecting others to pay your way

You may be right, @MsLuxLisbon

As said it's important not to assume, but natural to wonder if the parents were perhaps thoroughly mortified at the entitlement on display

I’d speak to your pilot brother and explain the life style and earning differences and how it affects you and your child, with your non pilot brother being able to afford to go abroad without the cheap flights whereas you can’t. Hope he sees sense and understands 💐

No. OP is a CF, she should be grateful for what she has already received, not cadging more and more. If I were her pilot brother I would cut her out just out of annoyance at the entitlement of it.

In that case you should just take one space. You’re still benefiting from it. To me that’s the obvious solution.

You don't deserve anything more than somebody else, just because you're a single parent. You're coming across as entitled.
You have had a good run. You don't need to take your DC on foreign holidays. The UK is available! Loads of people have NO holidays!
I feel sorry for your pilot brother having to deal with the bad feeling (from you at any rate) arising from his generosity.