AIBU.. Reactions to walking to primary school?

[Jaggedbubble]

Due to a house move, we had a hard time getting a suitable primary school place for DS in September. Thankfully we've now managed to secure one which is 1.3 miles from our new address.

I have a car but I fully intend on walking to school with him. We currently walk to nursery which is about half the distance, and I love our walks and chats together.

The thing that has really surprised me is the amount of negative reactions from other parents about our plans to walk. 'What about in the winter! What if it's raining! They will be so exhausted!' Some of them so dramatic like I'm commiting an awful act against my DS!

We are an outdoorsy family and have plenty of warm winter gear, decent waterproofs, scooters (with pull along strap if needed) and even a bike with large seat if he's really struggling in the first term.

Also it's a big school with absolutely notorious issues for parking/ driving at school run time so I plan to avoid the stress of that! And I will still have my car if there is an emergency/illness etc, but don't plan to use it otherwise.

AIBU to be a bit miffed at everyone's reactions?

It's just surprising how many conversations you've had about more of transport to school. I wonder if you've acted a bit smug saying 'of course we won't be lazy and drive to school' when others may not have the choices you do.

I don't think I discussed with anyone how we were getting our kids to school before they started primary, I don't remember it being a talking point at all.

That's a good point, thank you, the hours are higher than nursery so I know it's going to be a big tiring change for him.

You may be amazed how tired they are especially if longer hours than nursery. Some children find it tiring even if they have been used to full-time nursery and therefore will be doing fewer hours. Remember to bring a snack

YANBU, we lived 2 miles away from primary and always walked as I don't own a car, I worked full time too.

I hear you @Jaggedbubble , I have covered 12 years of school runs so far. We lived originally about 1.4 miles away and now live less than half a mile away. They and I (when younger) walked. I think I have driven them less than a couple of dozen times over that period when it was particularly nasty weather.

No smugness here, it's been more in the context of house move / which school did you get / where are you moving to / I'm very stressed about my 7 mile high traffic drive 4 times a day (previous school allocation) etc. First time parents asking parents with older ones what the parking/ traffic / teachers / experience etc is like, its very nornal conversation?
We're a chatty nursery bunch who have known each other for ~two years, you get to know people and ask about what is going on in each other's lives!
I get that not everyone is like that at pick ups but it's not that much of a shocker to have conversations with familiar people you see every day.
No smugness about my choices, no telling other parents they are lazy for driving!

Anyway thanks for the varied responses it's been interesting 😅

The weather comments are always hilarious to me. Having spend most of my childhood in the country where it rains 9 months a year and snows for the other 3, I somehow managed to get myself in and out of school unharmed.

I know you've probably not come on here with the intention of being judgey. But calling yourself an 'outdoorsy family' (aren't 90% of families with preschoolers) does come across as pretentious.

It is also a bit weird how much you have discussed travel arrangements with so many people. Even with the mentioned nightmare of finding something close to home, I'd still only tell other people we've got a school nearer to home and I might walk with him. Not going into the ins and outs of my waterproofs and bike seats.

Walking up and down the street isn't a big deal. Odd that you're discussing it so often with so many people.

We've always walked as we only live half a mile away from school. It takes longer to get in the car and then park at school than it does to just walk. The only time we've used the car is if the weather has been really bad or we've needed to drop him off on the way to somewhere else.
It is surprising how many parents do drive though and some of them live around the same distance away!

Walking to school is great I do that is too far and especially if a heavy bag is involved the child would be tired and not concentrating in class, and a lot of wear on school shoes

I suspect they’re sick of you bragging that you’re an “outdoorsy family” and how much you all love to walk. Just crack on and do it like everyone else does and as a pp said, be sensible in the extremes of weather.

I wouldn't worry about it. Some people are incredibly lazy! You'll be surprised how little distance some are prepared to walk. Thing is, then you end up with lazy kids who refuse to walk anyway or make a big song and dance about it!
There will be days that are tough - eg if it's absolutely pissing it down or if one child is ill. But if you have a back up plan, it's fine. Much better for you and your children to be walking.

It’s your plan. You haven’t actually done it yet. See how you get on doing the return journey twice a day. How on earth has it become such a big topic of conversation?

Yeah why the need to have big conversations about it?

I think it all depends on personal circumstance tbh.

You work part-time from home. This makes ~2 hours a day on foot to do the school run manageable.

I commute into a major city. This takes 45 mins. The school isn’t next to the station.

All of a sudden the extra 15-20 mins per journey starts to make an impact on getting to work on time, when I have to leave to collect them etc.

We are big walkers and I can sympathise with people not being able to accommodate this journey AND travel to their job each day.

I would feel really conflicted if my child only got into a school a distance away from me - it would make my day-to-day really quite difficult.

@Jaggedbubble maybe you're this defensive in real life and that's why you're getting the comments. My youngest is 7 and I'm still very good friends with nursery parents. We didn't (and still don't) make snarky comments about transport choices (like they've done to you). Maybe you need to reflect why they're doing this? Are they just not nice people or are you bragging about walking and people driving being lazy?

Most users live in the UK where it rains 12 months of the year (and seemingly about 12 hours a day in 2024), so Mumsnet users are well able to understand dealing with crappy weather.

When my eldest had just started reception we moved 1.5 miles away from the school, and have been fine walking/scooting since then come rain or shine! It takes about 25 mins on a good day to 40 on a slow dawdling one. There are parents at the school who live about 10 mins walk away and drive there and back - but if you are a family who likes walking anyway, you'll be absolutely fine.

Yanbu . We walked 1.2mi each way most days - I only drive when dc were unwell (but well-enough-for-school). This was our catchment school and we were on the edge of it, but no one ever mentioned they thought it was odd that we walked/scootered. As a result my youngest learned to balance bike and then cycle by the age of 3.5 and both my kids are now sturdy and active and not afraid of the rain or the cold. It was good for them.

I was thinking that. Mine was at nursery 5 full days a week from ten months and spent preschool year at nursery school that by the eve of the year was pretty much a P1 classroom (plus wraparound). She was still shattered that first term and would often whinge and cry for our half mile walk to and from school.

OP I believe you when you say you don't intend to come across as judgemental to those who drive, but that is how many of us have read it so there's a risk you've unintentionally done the same IRL.

Won’t you be walking nearly two hours a day? I work from home too but i’m not sure how i’d fit that in on a daily basis and get my hours done before young kids got home… maybe you get up much earlier than me!

This is why there are no end of parking threads on here, and why those of us who live near primary schools are increasingly fed up with people who park like dicks.

We don't have a car so we walk lots.
I don't mind it either honestly.
My child is a good walker in general.
It's 1 mile to my child's school. We walk. But we often walk places over 1.3 miles so it's normal to me.
But most people I know don't do as much walking as we do. I can imagine people do think the things you've put in your post

Look it's fine, there's a car if needed and it's one less vehicle at risk of running over a kid.
However my walk to and from school is the bane of my life. Maybe because I have three kids. It's only 0.9 mile. But my GOD it can take forever. Metaphorically speaking.

Literally, more like 50 minutes.
Because we DO stop and look at the flowers and walk along the (public) wall and stare at the bugs and have lengthy goodbyes with friends they've seen all day.

And it IS miserable in the rain / hail / sleet and having to undress four layers at school in nursery doesn't make it less so.

But, they'll get used to it, and we'd had some lovely chats., we walk part way with friends whoi wouldn't otherwise know etc.