To ask how to give up smoking when I don’t want to?

[Cadela]

I have to stop, I know that. I’m 35, lone parent and my dad died from lung cancer when he was 64.

I KNOW I have to give up. I’ve tried vaping and hypnotherapy and the guilt of smoking when I have a child. Dd is my world and I can’t even stop for her. The guilt and stress is eating me up.

I enjoy it is the problem, I roll cigarettes and it’s the habit of rolling and going outside (and I have tried rolling nothing and still going outside) but I always cave. I feel awful but I don’t want to give up?

How do I get myself out of this mindset and replace the habit with going outside and eating a strawberry or something.

If anyone has struggled please let me know how you did it!

Quit not quite.

My mum died at 48, from brain cancer that spread from smoking related lung cancer. Her father died the exact same way 15 years before.
I have one memory of my grandad, him lying, sick as a dog, on a sofa with a sick bucket.
My overwhelming memory of my mum is of the last time i saw her alive, i was only 20 when she died.
She stopped smoking in the aftermath of seeing her father die the way he did, as she wanted different for me and my sister. She quit cold turkey and had been a none smoker for over 11 years when her smoking related cancer developed.

Every cigarette you smoke leaves carcinogens in your body you'll never get rid of, that can cause cancer years down the line. Every extra cigarette, leaves that little bit more carcinogenic toxins, and increases your risk of developing cancer that little bit more.

The danger doesn't stop when you quit, and while your lungs get healthier after stopping and you'll breathe better, the damage in regard to developing cancer, is done. Stop adding to that damage, to that risk percentage. If you can't do it for yourself, and the agonising way you might die, do it for your daughter, so she doesn't have to witness that, doesn't have her memories of you ruled by the way my mums death rules mine of her. If i live to average age for a woman, my mum will only have been in my life for a quarter of it, and that hurts. She'll never witness any of my big life moments.

Do it today. Start up a new account today - do you have online banking? - give it a new name, like Cadela stop smoking account, of Holiday 25 account AND set up a standing order so the money is transferred on payday. That way it's automatically done without you having to think about it.

If you can transfer it monthly you'll see the figures adding up more frequently - that feeling is VERY addictive!

Good luck op!

My MIL used the Alan Carr book and stopped after 37 years of smoking.

My dad stopped when he had huge heart attack that left him with heart failure. Eventually had a heart transplant. It was a new lease life, but one filled with medical issues, pain, huge financial worries and also a big chunk of guilt that someone lost of their life, giving him, his back.

Its impacted all of our lives since I was 15. Not saying it to shame you, but you really need to just want to stop for her. Cause trust me, you wouldn't want what we've been through

I do genuinely wish you luck

I think this is a brilliant way to quit. I often think that going 'cold turkey' doesn't really make much sense as you absolutely wouldn't do it with any other addictive drug and I wonder what suddenly stopping does to your body. I am sure it must be a shock to the system and I wonder how that actually manifests in the long term. Food for thought.

I changed my language around it, I couldn't stand the idea of giving up, it made me feel like I was missing out or having something taken away. The cost, health scares etc. made me feel a childish, pouty kind of angry! but I have managed to "not have a cigarette right now" for over 2 years

Just wanted to update you all - today after school some mums and I took the girls to a local pub/restaurant for chips and usually I’d have a pint and obviously smoke. But I consciously left my tobacco at home so I wouldn’t smoke.

The second I got there I thought fuck I’ll just go to the shop to get some cigarettes, but held off. It took about 10 mins of me feeling a bit like omg I need a cigarette right now to oh this is actually fine.

I’m watching England and having a beer and smoking, but even that first little step made me feel amazing. I think if I can keep doing little bits here and there whilst reading the Allen Carr book I might be able to do this!!!!!

Don't buy any. Just don't.

Get a vape. I stopped in October and don't miss it at all. I hate the smell now.

I felt like this (still do really) and rather than quit for good all I did was stretch it out and do it less often. So I went from smoking every day to smoking like once a day then a few times a week, then once or twice a week, then only on special occasions and then through some periods of pregnancy/small kids I don't really even do it then. Technically/medically I'm classed as a non smoker, but I don't rule out the option of having one every now and again and I really enjoy it when I do. This also makes it much cheaper because like you I can't justify the cost of doing it regularly - financial or medical.

I don't seem to get addicted to it though or creep back into every day, so maybe I'm lucky in that sense. It works for me.

I restarted smoking earlier this year after a traumatic event.
I had quit smoking 26 years ago! I’m so cross at myself, it got a hold of me so quickly too.
I’m now sitting here dying to dash out and get some cigarettes, and I am slowly eating my weight in chocolate and crisps in an attempt to distract myself. 1,460 calories worth so far this evening
This seems harder than when I first quit all those years ago tbh and this is only day one, although 2 weeks ago I managed 5 days before caving and buying more. I’m determined not to buy more this time.

I smoked between the age of 14 and 31, so a long time. With me it was an overnight thing. I had found out I was pregnant and just didn't want it anymore.

I believe my lifestyle helped. I started working out and eating healthy in my early 20s and the smoking was always a contradiction - it affected my running, I was always tired for it and getting sick. I actually started wanting it a bit less. I believe if you really want to give up, getting active is the way forward.

I got hypnotised it was amazing

Good luck with trying to give up. I'm the same with binge eating. I wish Allen Carr did a book on that.

He has a book out called “Easy was to quit emotional eating”

I've tried to stop a few times and I just haven't wanted to enough, I think you've either got to want to stop, or force yourself into it and exercise a lot of willpower. It's a hard habit to break, but it can be broken, and there are lots of resources to help people stop.

When my dad stopped, he had these tablet things called champix, not sure of the spelling. He didn't want to stop either but he said the tablets made him feel sick when he smelled smoke, so he didn't want it anymore. He swore by them so they could be worth a try!

I tried hypnosis for weight.
Twice.
Two different practitioners.
It didn't work either time.

I tried hypnosis for smoking and had a fag on the way back from the session.

Allen Carr I stopped there and then.

I've tried many times to give up smoking over the past 28 years (started aged 20 and I'm now 48). The easiest and longest lasting no smoking stint I had was when I took Champix which I got prescribed at the beginning of the first covid lockdown but sadly that is no longer available. I stupidly started again 2 years later - got a bit merry at a music festival, sun was shining, it was my birthday weekend, I'll just have a couple etc etc and then before I knew it I was back to fully smoking. Still kick myself for doing that.

I've tried on and off ever since then to stop again and have never got further than a few days and it was always such hard going. However I listened to a podcast recently called Optimal Living, the episode in question was about utilizing a method to align your subconscious desires with conscious achievements and I decided to give it a go in relation to stopping smoking. In a nutshell the method is to spend a few minutes just before you go to sleep writing down what you want to achieve, then immediately upon waking in the morning spending a few minutes re-reading these wants to reinforce them, the idea being that just prior to sleep and immediately after waking you can consciously tap into your subconscious. So I basically write things like "I want to stop smoking" "I no longer want to be a slave to nicotine" "I want to be free of cigarettes" etc etc. sometimes expanding on these wants with reasons why like "I want to be healthier, have better skin, not smell, have more money". It sounds a bit woo but it's been a week today since I started this and I haven't had a single cigarette, and crucially I've not even wanted one. Obviously it's still early days but I feel so positive about stopping this time, each day I tick off I feel stronger willed. Just thought I'd share in case it helps anyone else.

O haven't read all of this but as someone who did not get out of bed without a fag ( or two!) I can tell you giving up is liberating
The Alan car books really helped me. Also Ozzy Osbourne look up his quotes about smoking
You can do it. It's honestly not like giving up alcohol or food when dieting
Sounds like you are on the brink of the bedt choice you will ever make!

Good luck xxx

I haven't read the thread but....

I had to give up because I was pregnant. My way to do it was to just carry a pack of cigarettes around in my bag.

In my mind, I said I'd have one later, so I won't have one at morning coffee time, I'll have it at lunch time. At lunch, I'll have it after work etc etc.

It worked for me because i had them on me, if I really wanted one, I could.

Bit like going on a diet and someone saying don't think of donuts, and all you want is donuts thus you fail.

Bit mad, but it worked for me.

I got a large pack of nori seaweed and used it to make lots of different kinds of maki-sushi rolls - if you're good at rolling cigarettes you'll be great at making sushi! this meant i had something tasty to snack on, rather than turning to sweets, so didn't put on loads of weight immediately.
This won't work for you if you don't like the taste of seaweed/ horseradish/ vinegared rice though...

Read the Allen carr stop smoking book. Honestly, it's magic.

I quit on holiday in a remote area (no shops within a half hour drive, so no way to pop out to get cigarettes). I’d bought some vapes which I brought with me, and when my cigarettes were all gone on the first evening I switched to vapes instead. Took me a couple of days to get the hang of them but by the end of the week I was a vaper instead of a smoker.

That was 8 years ago. I wonder if the Allan Carr book would work for vaping because although it’s clearly better than smoking I’d rather not do it.