To ask how to give up smoking when I don’t want to?

[Cadela]

I have to stop, I know that. I’m 35, lone parent and my dad died from lung cancer when he was 64.

I KNOW I have to give up. I’ve tried vaping and hypnotherapy and the guilt of smoking when I have a child. Dd is my world and I can’t even stop for her. The guilt and stress is eating me up.

I enjoy it is the problem, I roll cigarettes and it’s the habit of rolling and going outside (and I have tried rolling nothing and still going outside) but I always cave. I feel awful but I don’t want to give up?

How do I get myself out of this mindset and replace the habit with going outside and eating a strawberry or something.

If anyone has struggled please let me know how you did it!

I tried many times to quit, but each time my heart wasn't in it and as soon as the craving became strong I went back to smoking.

Finally I realised it was the fear of the cravings, plus the feeling of not knowing what to do with my hands that was really blocking me.

I read a lot about the nicotine receptors in the brain that drive the cravings and I learnt that you can't reduce them in number very quickly, but over time they do reduce. These receptors multiply quickly when you smoke (which is why you increase consumption of cigarettes so quickly) but they don't reduce at the same speed.

So I decided to do a very slow withdrawal (like they do with a lot of drug addicts) so that I could match my reduction in smoking with the gradual reduction of receptors.

I smoked 20 a day at the time, so I said OK... for 1 month I will smoke 19. Each day I took one cigarette out of the packet, and put it away, and smoked the 19. Then month 2 I took 2 out and smoked 18. And so on. Obviously it took me over a year to get down to just 8 a day, but I had no cravings at all in that time.

In terms of what to do with my hands I got a rubiks cube (yes, I know that dates me 😆 🤣 😂) and fiddled with that when my hands felt sort of fidgety. I also ate a lot of mints - somehow the fresh feeling in my mouth instead of the taste of tobacco really helped too.

After a year I then cut down 1 cigarette every two weeks so didn't take that long to get to just 2 a day. Then I just found myself thinking, why am I still doing this? And I just stopped. Took me a while to get rid of the rubiks cube though 😆 🤣 😂

Probably sounds like a batshit method, but it worked for me. Maybe it would work for someone else, maybe you OP.

What an inspiring thread! I suppose it's like sny addiction or difficult situation in that the consequences of staying in it are worse than leaving it. Very helpful 🙂

This thread has inspired me to read the book and quit. I'm 37, I need to do it.

Go to your doctor, they do wonderful programs to help people. Medication might be the only answer for you. I gave up 2 years and all I can say is you have to want to or you'll not succeed. I got to the point where I hated myself for doing it, hated the smell, hated disappointing people so I ended up using good old willpower and patches for a few weeks. I tried vaping but couldn't get my head around what's the point of replacing one nicotine source with another, you're still addicted. Unless it's non nicotine vapes of course. It makes no difference what anyone will say to you, you have to want to stop otherwise you'll continue to just keep making excuses. Good luck, you can do it

Do you knit, crochet or do embroidery? If not then maybe you could try one of them to keep your hands busy?

I wrote down all the things I didn't want (lung cancer etc) and then all the things I did want - as stupid as, I want to have glowing skin, I want to smell nice when I meet people or whatever it was. I found that my positive goals were more helpful than my negative goals. What I wanted was more impactful than what I didn't want. I was a very heavy smoker and am now one of those people that can't stand it. Good luck!

I kept in the forefront of my mind that smoking had been controlling me, as in always making sure I'd got enough money for tobacco for the week even before food and bills were paid ,feeling stressful if I hadn't got enough left to last until the next time the shop was open so that I cou!d go and get some more etc. Putting things off until I'd had a cig, not going to places where I couldn't smoke etc., I needed to be free from that dependency. It felt so good to be back in control of myself and I like that feeling, it's liberating.

We did it with lots of chewing gum/ snacks every time a craving hit. I also wrote down a promise to myself that I would never smoke again.

Honestly, it's the hardest but best thing I've ever done, just do it.

Smoking is gross, smelly, antisocial, terrible for you. You only like it because it stops you feeling shit from the withdrawal. You can stop that feeling forever by quitting, but it is a long road!

This might be slightly out of left field, but I'm a mounjaro (injection) user for weightloss. There has been an awful lot of anecdotal data about the drug having the side effect of removing cravings for addictions. Anything that results in a high. Shopping, drinking, gambling and yes smoking. Lots of people not even intending to give up these behaviours and simply giving losing interest. Obviously it is weight and finance dependant but could be an option for some people.

I used nicotine patches and when I felt like I needed a cig (the habit more than anything) I just went and brushed my teeth, who wants a cig after freshly brushed teeth? It was more to keep my hands busy. Whilst using patches I had half a cig and it made me feel so sick it honestly put me off for life

I also used the acupuncture method and never had another cigarette again, that was 43 years ago.
I used a set of worry beads to keep my hands busy.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/jun/20/i-started-smoking-at-14-and-reached-40-a-day-a-single-therapy-session-changed-my-life

By chance, I read just read this. Another useful perspective. Good luck!

I work for a stop smoking service
Im an ex smoker and I know how bloody hard it is
Most local authorities will offer a free 12 week stop smoking service, some do face to face appointments and others telephone support
Youll also get free nicotine replacement products
Two products seems to be the winning combinatio
A patch working in the background and something to keep your hands busy, inhalator or vape

Both hubby and I decided to just stop smoking. Simply because of our young kids we didn't want them to end up smoking etc. So back in February we threw chose a day last Sunday of the month, threw everything relating to smoking out in the bin, kept nothing, and neither of us have smoked since. Hubby had smoked from 16 until 36 and me I had only done it for 4 years..the first 2 days were hardest for me but we planned days out to keep busy and now I rarely ever think of smoking and him to

I was you, identical circumstances. I tried and tried, put on a stone each time. Eventually I stopped trying to give up. I just waited till I was absolutely ready. And one day I was and - honestly - it was SO easy. My head was in the right space, I wanted to do it, and I did it.
So maybe cut yourself a little slack and try again in a few months.

I smoked for 40 years, mostly. Had periods off the fags but not for more than 2 years. I’d just stopped-again- and 2 weeks later had what they thought was a heart attack. Spent a night in a&e on my own thinking that I had done this to myself and how could I explain that to children adn grandchildren, and I felt so shit about myself (that of course I craved a fag). But had to stay in hospital for 3 days, not allowed off the ward and feeling terrible. Had angiogram and it seemed that it was all an overreaction: no heart event, fit as a flea. But i had stayed off the cigs, and I got a call after discharge from the NHS Stop service. And the lady gave me someone who seemed to care if I started again, who suggested, encouraged and mostly was someone to be accountable to. And it’s over 2 years now since I smoked. I’m still not sure I want to stop and I really identify with that, 5 mins on my own in the garden, thing. But I knew I had to and I’m secretly very proud that I’ve stopped. Good luck.

Good luck OP! I used the book too. I believed the book would work and it did. Open your mind and be prepared to take it all in.

You don't enjoy smoking, you are addicted so smoking makes you feel relaxed. Allen makes the comparison that it's like wearing shoes that are too tight so that you can enjoy the relief of taking them off.

I'm so sorry. It is tough.

Read The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Car (not the comedian). It saved my life.

You smoke while you read the book so no reason to fear reading it or delay. If you don't want to quit at the end then don't. But you will.

Best of luck xxx

I think you will struggle until you want to. Have you tried any nicotine replacements to see if that helps.

My mum passed when we were young and apparently me or my brother asked my grandma who would look after us if she died. That made her quit

I swear the Allen Carr book is magic. Worked like a dream, I couldn't believe it.

@Cadela I also have ADHD. It definitely makes it hard to quit (I lack impulse control, need to be fiddling/doing something all the time/need the sensation etc and all that makes me susceptible to smoking and other habits). You think your life will be lacking or boring without it but I promise you it really won't.

But saying you know the way you'll quit by getting fed up with it, is just your brain tricking you into not stopping. And you really don't have to want to - you just have to read (or listen) to the book. Honestly - it won't take willpower.

Go for it!

You have the chance now to avoid illness. Take that chance. Even if money isn’t a factor note how much you save and what it pays for - ‘free internet’, ‘free tv’, ‘hairdressers’ etc

This is the best thread ever and is going to be something I come back to every time I want a cigarette. Book is coming today so I’m going to start reading it.

So glad I posted and hope this thread helps others who want to quit too. Feeling soooo positive this morning (she says while having a fag and a coffee in the garden 🤣)

Definitely the Allen Carr book! Bought it for my sister 20yrs, read it first and never smoked again (even though I had no intention of quitting!). Right near the start he says....have a cigarette if you want one, keep having one while you read the book, reread the book and then......you won't want one (I'm paraphrasing here but he doesn't lecture or moan at you). Just go for it with an open mind.

4 family members gave up long ago reading the Alan Carr book....got to be worth a try?

I have a feeling vaping is just as bad for you...Time will tell

Good luck, you CAN do it!