Woman telling me to open my car windows

[Youknowitsnotthesameasitwas]

The other day I went to the petrol station with my 6 year old in the car. She’s currently off school as isn’t feeling well and we stopped to get petrol before heading to the Drs.
It’s our local petrol station, a small one. I always park at the pump closest to the large front window where the cashier is, it’s about the same distance as sitting on the sofa and watching tv.
Dd didn’t want to go in as she doesn’t feel well, it was a warm day but because Dd wasn’t feeling well she didn’t want the air con on or windows open. I parked outside and nipped in, being able to see her the whole time. I was behind one man in the queue paying and a woman came in and started asking if it was my child in the car and saying how the car windows should be open. I said to her, it literally takes me less than a minute to come in here and pay. She was still going on about it, at this point I started to feel pissed off and said ‘It’s ok, it’s my daughter, I know what I’m doing, she’s not very well and didn’t want the windows open and I’m just nipping in and out and can see her the whole time, ok?’

Was I in the wrong or was she?

Perfectly. Are you?

Well you were more patient and polite than I would have been, but busybodies are a pet hate of mine.

The conversation with me would have gone more like this:

First response: 'She's fine, thank you your concern though'

Second response: 'I've already told you as nicely as I can manage to mind you own business as everything is fine, so now I am telling you to piss off you fucking busybody.'

@upgradeyourvetting You agree it happened 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is going to become more of a thing with electric cars. Children and dogs can be left in a stationary electric car with the windows up - the AC can stay on. Except no one else will realise that the AC stays on and will be kicking off about it.

Well there are cases of people being arrested because they left their child for minutes. I literally ran from my car in front of the house to the door to get my mobile left right inside the door and ran back - and in that seemingly seconds a neighbor walking their dog stopped to lecture me.

But here's the thing mumsnetters. It takes minutes for a child to die in a hot car. And there's no coming back. Before you start recommending insults for the woman running in - commend. her for giving a sh!t about a child who is not hers. Because every single day on this wonderful place called EARTH the unthinkable happen. What if mom went in and the petrol station was held up? What if she had a seizure or a heart attack? All manner of things can happen. And no matter what your CHILD says - you don't leave a child in a car without windows cracked open if at all. In many places it is against the law. In the USA children DIE it sees on an almost daily basis becasue of being left in a car.

I would much rather look at this way: thank gooodness there are strangers that care enough about humans to NOTICE a child alone in a car and to DO something about it. Because that 'overbearing' individual is precisely the kind that will notice someone in distress and stay involved until that person is no longer in distress.

FFS people it takes a village...

The difference is that I would have said to my child (and I have said) if you don’t want to get out of the car and go into the shop with us then we will all just go home now and you won’t have your headphones, whatever is on the list. It’s the parents actually taking responsibility for parenting. It might take longer to get round the shop but that’s how it is with kids in tow.

Surely if a stranger approached and said anything about a child/dog in that scenario you would simply tell them the ac was on. It's not that deep. Simple communication goes a long way. People are so desperate to be offended.

You could have told her to mind her business, but I wouldn’t give it any more thought.

That last comment is very true.

I remember when my first newborn was in the pram ( not a buggy style, traditional pram lying completely flat) a lady came up and said the baby needs strapping in even if they can’t yet roll or move as if a car hit the pram or it tipped over the baby would fly out. Until then I had only thought of the straps as restraining the baby from rolling out etc and hadn’t bothered to loop little floppy arms through the straps and clip the buckle ( which looks HUGE) on a newborn. It sent a shiver down my spine I hadn’t done it ( we hadn’t been out much as it was very early days) and I was actually very grateful. BUT she did add very kindly “ you have to let me point these things out: I’m a frustrated grandmother! None of mine want children yet!”

I agree! I'm firm with my child especially when it comes to safety. Mine is 7. Kid's need grown ups to make decisions that involve safety....

Julia?!

She’s being ridiculous. Was it hot where you are? Even so, the time it takes to go in to pay for petrol she wouldn’t have got too heated

@Mumofferal3 Julia…??

Nobody has died from heat while someone paid for fuel. YANBU

Was it really 2 mins including pumping petrol time ? I'd query why if feeling ill she didn't want air as most people do but kids don't always realise feeling cold is often a temperature and needs to be brought down.
I'd rather someone asked than a child got a heat stroke and started vomiting or worse.

In that unlikely situation there would have been plenty of time for OP to go out and check on her child again. A 6 year old is also capable of opening a door if she's uncomfortable.

What if mom went in and the petrol station was held up? What if she had a seizure or a heart attack? All manner of things can happen.

If you spend your time torturing yourself about all these remote possibilities, you will never leave the house and will end up keeping hour children prisoners. You could have that seizure or heart attack just as easily whilst driving, to say nothing of the risks of other cars crashing into yours, something falling on your child as he walks along the pavement, someone hitting him when he crosses the road.

Interfering nuisance

Dont give it any more head space

At aged 6 kid could have climbed into the front and opened the door and shouted ...Muuummm.... im hot in here

Mine would

I was once in the Dr's waiting room with my sick daughter, waiting for her to be seen, when an old woman came all the way across the room to tell me my daughter didn't look very well...

I could understand someone making a fuss where I live. It's often 40ºC during spring and summer. I used to live in Las Vegas, where leaving a baby in a car for any amount of time is a punishable offense. But assuming this took place in the UK, unless it was an unusually hot day, it's ridiculous to think a 6-year old will come to any harm in a couple of minutes. It simply isn't a serious concern.

Something else was bothering her and she’s a naturally anxious but confrontational person.
you did nothing wrong.
on a good day she wouldn’t have spoken to you.
she was having a bad day and needed to find some channel to express her anxiety.
you're not unreasonable. But I think you know that. She needs help and I think you know that too.
and hopefully once she gets some help, she’ll be less unreasonable.