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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at sisters Eras tour present??

282 replies

Grealish · 19/06/2024 10:51

I have two tween DDs who are Taylor obsessed atm. Was gutted when I didn’t get a code to get them tickets.

Well yesterday my sister came round, and told me she had a surprise for the girls. Three eras tour tickets for me and the girls!! The girls (and me) were so excited, youngest ran off to show her aunt what outfit she was going to wear, and oldest kept announcing that it was the best day of her life.

and then my sister said: “it’s a good thing your DH has the weekend off too, he can drive you to the airport!”. Well I felt like bingo in that one episode of bluey. Airport? I’m not going to the airport?

Turns out the tickets are in London. This Sunday. We live in Ireland. My sister bought the tickets, but now I’ll have to book flights and hotel. I have work on Monday so I’ll have to try book that off. We have a family holiday coming up as well as my best friends hen party so really do not have the money for flights and a hotel, if I can even find a hotel this late notice.

I just wish she’d come to me first before telling the girls, as now I’m either going to have to crush their dreams or somehow find a few hundred quid to get us all to London.

AIBU to be so angry at my sister (even tho I think she thought she was doing a nice thing.) and to think that a present should not put the recipient out of pocket…. Sorry I actually don’t even know what I’m expecting people to say back I’m just in need of a good rant.

OP posts:
Clearinguptheclutter · 24/06/2024 14:50

Ah great outcome

a bit late now and you did the right thing but your sister was totally unreasonable especially because she got tickets that you couldn’t technically use! But I’m pleased it all worked out in the end and that the girls recognise your efforts

Projectme · 24/06/2024 16:09

Your DD's comment made me well up. Bless her. So glad all went ok

heretodestroyyou · 24/06/2024 18:21

@Grealish I'm glad it all went well in the end.

I really don't think you were being ungrateful at all and had very valid issues with your sister's gift.

Then to get there and the tickets be standing ones is fucking ridiculous because she hadn't even thought about whether that's ok.

What if you'd gone to all that effort and expense and not got in? How heartbroken the kids would have been!

I would give it a bit of time and calmly explain the difficulties the gift caused and ask that she checks with you in future. She meant well but it was stupid.

SeeThatOne · 24/06/2024 20:24

Bit my tongue and agreed with them all day when they said how great Aunty was but then just before bed on our blow up mattress my youngest whispered “Thanks for taking us mammy you’re the best” and every second was suddenly worth it 🥰

That's a lovely update.

Longma · 24/06/2024 21:08

Glad it all worked out for you and you all had a great evening!

Original poster
Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 11/08/2024 17:58

having read your update, my first response is ' what a bitch '
what ever you now think/feel, just remember you said
' Once we were inside everything went smoothly! Concert was fab and we all had a ball!! '

recorders - no - surely a drum kit or bagpipes :)

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/08/2024 18:10

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

I agree having your updated your sister is a total bitch.

Why would someone do this for their sister and nieces? And then to announce she’d planned on selling them for a profit as she expected you wouldn’t go.

I would be plotting some revenge.

PassingStranger · 11/08/2024 18:13

Your in charge, don't go if it's inconvenient, too pricy etc.

Yes she should have asked you first.
Yanbu.
Tell her.

fortheveryfirsttime · 11/08/2024 18:23

Fucking hell, what a twat. Especially as the kids knew about the tickets so she'd have broken their little hearts. 😡

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/08/2024 18:28

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

What an absolute cow. I am so glad you went and made sure your girls had a great time.

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/08/2024 18:30

Seconding the bagpipes suggestion.

Also, just casually drop in her conversation to chats with family/ friends of family. "Oh ha, apparently sis thought we wouldn't go to the Taylor Swift concert and had planned to resell the tickets at a profit. Silly sis, she clearly doesn't understand the lengths Teens/ Tweens will go to to see Taylor Swift."

Or some such variant.

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/08/2024 18:31

fortheveryfirsttime · 11/08/2024 18:23

Fucking hell, what a twat. Especially as the kids knew about the tickets so she'd have broken their little hearts. 😡

No, she wanted OP to break her daughter's hearts whilst she looked like an awesome aunty.

LittleMousewithcloggson · 11/08/2024 18:39

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

Op I’m sorry but that’s a stupid idea…
You need to get drum kits, cymbals, whistles and possibly even bagpipes!

MeYouAndAQuestion · 11/08/2024 18:53

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

I think she is teasing. There is no way she would have thought you wouldn't use the tickets.

LaughingElderberry · 11/08/2024 18:56

Saw this back in active and glad I clicked, as I saw your update.

Your 'D'sis really is a stirring cow isn't she? Deliberately buys a hugely desirable present, relies on you to be the bad guy whilst she gets to look like a saint and go quids in by flogging the tickets on?

Time for the charity sponsorship toilet, or goat, for her next Xmas present.

ThatsAFineLookingHighHorse · 11/08/2024 19:12

I'd have called her an utter bitch on the spot.

ThatsNotVeryRainbowRhythms · 11/08/2024 19:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

BeachParty · 11/08/2024 20:45

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

Said all along she was an utter cow for doing that to you in front of the kids, without getting your say so that it was OK first.
People who do that don't usually give a shit what you think and will do what they want anyway.
Glad you went and had a good time and I'd be distancing myself from your sis for my own sanity if I were you, as she has form for undermining/mind game type shit with you and the kids.

BeachParty · 11/08/2024 20:47

PassingStranger · 11/08/2024 18:13

Your in charge, don't go if it's inconvenient, too pricy etc.

Yes she should have asked you first.
Yanbu.
Tell her.

The OP has since been and updated about cow sister

Ginkypig · 11/08/2024 20:49

Ooh sneaky bitch.

well that bit her right in the arse didn’t it, lol.

I know it was a nightmare for you but this is probably something they will talk about years later as adults so I’m glad it worked out!

StormingNorman · 11/08/2024 20:49

I wouldn’t dream of doing this for my DN without speaking to my siblings first.

OnAndOnAndonAgain · 11/08/2024 20:53

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

What a twat! So she would have been quite happy for the dc to be upset and for you to be blamed if you'd said no because she was hoping to make some money

User236792 · 11/08/2024 21:10

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

👏

Possibly, given how very generous she was, you might stretch to a pair of violins….

socialdilemmawhattodo · 11/08/2024 21:16

Grealish · 11/08/2024 17:47

A little update just if anyone who called me ungrateful checks this thread- at a family occasion on fri night. The concert came up in conversation. After a few wines, sister started laughing and told me that she didn’t actually think we’d go. Her plan was offer the tickets, I’d say no, she’d sell the tickets and get an extra couple hundred quid, all while looking like the best Aunt in the world.

Never been so glad to have gone. Will be returning the favour when she has kids by buying them all recorders.

Wow. Not nice and recorders you say for the 1st Christmas? Bagpipes did someone suggest Christmas 2? What was Christmas 3, 4, 5 etc until she grovels. But pleased you and the DC enjoyed what you saw.

But I would say to anyone going outside of your own country to a big concert. Be careful what you get. Took my DC to Take That in Germany earlier this summer. Big European outside tour. No issue I thought - cant wait to go back to Berlin. Should be fab. Having seen them in Italy years ago and they were brill and the staging was brill. Reviews in the UK were great. Oh gosh. #takethatlite. Very thin pared down concert in staging and length. I feel for European fans - I dont think they know how ripped off they were. Tickets prices EUR93 - approx £85. Which is plenty. I wasn't to know - booked nearly a year ago.