To think my friend was really rude?

[Tiamaria86]

We have come for a week away in a caravan with the kids. My friend and her family booked the same week so we will spend some time with them but not all the time.

We arrived and typically its pouring down. She has just knocked on the door to ask if we want to order takeaway with them. I said oh the kids are just eating some bacon rib, potato and cabbage soup I brought with us (they love this, always request it).

She laughed her head off and asked why I've brought food like that with me. I said I've brought a big lasagne, beef stew and a chicken curry that I made as well. We will get fish and chips etc one night and maybe eat out but I thought it was just better to be prepared. She thinks I'm nuts and really made fun of me.

We've just bought a house and money is a bit tight to be honest so I did want to keep costs down and not waste money on crappy food when possible. I feel a bit embarrassed now though like I'm a tight arse!

I would much prefer home prepared food to the majority of unhealthy take always.

Eating out is very expensive these days even for junk food that you don’t want to be feeding your children with every day for a week. Far more prudent and healthy to think in advance and be prepared with a few meals you know the children love to eat. It makes eating out special, less of a burden on the budget and something you can all look forward to.
Your friend has other ideas and that’s fine but yes she was very rude to criticise your choice to do things in a way that suits your family best.

I think you’re brilliant to have put so much effort and thought into your family meals (and finances) ahead of a holiday. And all your plans for eating sound perfect - lovely balance between eating out and eating in.

I bet your kids are going to grow up with a huge appreciation of good home cooked food, cooking skills, and lovely memories of your soup every time they set foot in a caravan!

Don’t doubt yourself.

She may not be jealous of the soup per se but is probably envious of the organisation and forethought op put into it.

Why would she be envious? If she wanted to bring food from home she would have done

Plus you are not cooking..but reheating food.
I hate being hungry and having to choose a place to eat and then what to eat on holiday. To describe that as joyless as previous poster did is ludicrous … people enjoy different things.

I’d have been very honest and said “money is tight” - and see how she responded to that. If she was compassionate and empathetic I’d let it go but if she wasn’t I’d considering distancing myself.
When we go camping we tend to take our own food BBQ/picnic bits/breakfast bits and then once over a weekend we would have lunch or tea out depending on the stay. But of course what you do is up to you.

I'm just finding it funny how people are slagging off the idea of bringing food from home and reheating it rather than going to the pub on site where they .... Will just be reheating food sent from a warehouse

To me, bringing home cooked food on holiday is really boring, I like going out to eat or just deciding what I want to go and buy that day. I wouldn't take the piss out of you though. I might comment to my OH later on that I thought it was boring and not what we would do but each to their own and we are all different. Plus if your budget is tight that's fair enough. I have a friend who would definitely do what you have done, no questions. She would definitely be commenting to her OH that I'm squandering my money and not feeding the kids proper food and they will die lol.

@Tiamaria86 Glad to hear it ended well.
There might also have been the issue of how she heard what you said.
She came to your door relying on takeaway, you explained that you have produced a huge amount of nutritious home cooked food that her kids enjoy. Possibly, it hit her as a stealth brag and while you see it as a modest thing, not many people would have managed what you did (but there would be shame in admitting that).

A lot of people cannot cook and will be defensive about it.

I haven’t read the entire thread. But it sounds like you’re having to justify making your own meals on holiday. I always make meals on holiday, including taking sandwiches, drinks etc to the beach.

First, we simply can’t afford to buy food out. Even buying drinks for a family is over a tenner. So, in the years when I’ve saved enough for a holiday (I can’t afford one every year), it’s make our own food or no holiday. I’d be mortified if a more privileged ‘friend’ who can afford it laughed at me.

Second, lots of affordable takeaways and meals out are awful. Shit, overpriced pap made in a factory and heated in a microwave. I don’t see that as a ‘treat’. No substitute for simple, freshly prepared food. We don’t eat meat and the options are often pretty dire. When the kids were little, they much preferred fresh stuff to pick at: cherry tomatoes, cucumber, grapes, cubes of cheese etc. Though we’d have good fish & chips, Cornish pasties etc now and again.

Third, while cooking at home can feel like a grind when working, I really enjoy cooking on holiday from local/seasonal ingredients. I love browsing local produce in markets and little greengrocers and cooking with it, such as buying freshly caught mackerel and barbecuing with local salad items, washed down with local beer. Yum!

I totally respect some people hate cooking and see holidays as time off from it. Good for them if they can afford to eat out all the time. I’d never judge or laugh at them for it. But, equally, they shouldn’t sneer or laugh at you. Not if they’re a friend. It’s really disrespectful. You sound like a fantastic cook and your children clearly love your cooking and will have fond memories of it for life. That’s wonderful ❤️

I would much rather have your yummy homemade food over crappy holiday camp food any day!!! Besides, you are away for a week and you might choose to eat out lunches or vice versa. Such a better idea. Enjoy

I said oh the kids are just eating some bacon rib, potato and cabbage soup I brought with us (they love this, always request it).

Does anyone else think this is a bit TMI in terms of the info OP gave mate about her kids lunch? Wouldn’t you just say “they’re having lunch/soup”?

Maybe the mate thought OP was boasting about her never-take-a-break home cooking, hence the rather rude unguarded response.

I always feel like the whole point of a caravan holiday is to be able to cater to yourself, we normally do a mix of eating out/cooking in.

What a good mum you are cooking such lovely meals for your kids. I'd aspire to be like you. 100% she's jealous pay no heed

100% she's jealous

This is honestly getting insane.

We always do a shop for the holiday and take a few pre-cooked favourites, less hassle and saves money. We’ll have a meal out as a treat and one takeaway.

Just posting to say that I want to eat at your caravan 😂 That recipe sounds so delicious!

I have such fond memories of caravan holidays as a kid.

We weren't well off.

Would often spend the day at the beach & had a little beach hut & would make sandwiches for lunch.

Sandwich Spread anyone?

Then our evening meal in the caravan would likely be something tinned that mum could just heat up easily.

Then back to playing out with whoever you'd made friends with!

Honestly meals out just weren't a thing for us & often for the kids who did eat out it was time that could have been spent playing!

There's a difference between eating the same food you have at home everyday and going out for a meal though, even if the quality is pretty similar. It's more about the experience/atmosphere and not having to clean up after yourself than it is about the actual food IMO.

Why would she be jealous? If she wanted to bring soup she would have done

If you are only going to do the same things as you do at home why are you on holiday

Last time I looked at caravan holidays I decided going abroad was cheaper

I'm another one who thinks your friend was rude.
We go on caravan holidays and I actually love cooking in the caravan (and love the smells coming from other caravans on the site at breakfast/in the evening).
Out of 7 days, we'll only have a takeaway once and we have more money for other things.
My MIL laughed at me because I made a picnic and a flask for the beach - but I was happy sat there with a coffee and my book on the beach and she soon changed her mind.
You just do what's right for you - if it works for you, then it's right.

Totally forgot about bacon ribs and cabbage - my mum used to do that a lot when I was a kid.

I’d never say it but I agree with your friend. Nothing to do with feeling embarrassed at being disorganised.

Sometimes MN text boxes have a mind of their own. Thank you so much for the recipe!!

The "slice cabbage" followed by "throw cabbage in the compost bin" made me lol 😆 but I understand what you mean, the scraps from the cabbage (maybe not though 😆) made me think of all those memes where you prepare a nice dinner for the kids, skip the middle part of trying to feed them the new dish and just put it straight in the bin 😆