To think my friend was really rude?

[Tiamaria86]

We have come for a week away in a caravan with the kids. My friend and her family booked the same week so we will spend some time with them but not all the time.

We arrived and typically its pouring down. She has just knocked on the door to ask if we want to order takeaway with them. I said oh the kids are just eating some bacon rib, potato and cabbage soup I brought with us (they love this, always request it).

She laughed her head off and asked why I've brought food like that with me. I said I've brought a big lasagne, beef stew and a chicken curry that I made as well. We will get fish and chips etc one night and maybe eat out but I thought it was just better to be prepared. She thinks I'm nuts and really made fun of me.

We've just bought a house and money is a bit tight to be honest so I did want to keep costs down and not waste money on crappy food when possible. I feel a bit embarrassed now though like I'm a tight arse!

You may well love self-catering, washing up, caravans, penny pinching and same old food. But that is not my idea of a great holiday

She says in her very first post that she’s hard up at the moment and is trying to save money. What about that post makes you think that being ‘romantic or joyful’ is an option when it comes to feeding her family for the week? Do you think she’s doing the washing up in a caravan sink for fun?

I’m sure if she had thousands of spare pounds knocking about, she’d quite happily book full board in a five star hotel with an excellent kid’s program. But she doesn’t, so why try and make her feel like the lovely week she’s giving her children is a shit holiday? What pleasure do you get out of describing her holiday like that? It’s completely unnecessary. It might not be your idea of fun and that’s fair enough. But whatever you enjoy doing, I’m pretty sure that there would be dozens of people on here who would turn their noses up at it and think it sounds a bloody awful way to spend a holiday. I suspect they’d have the good manners to be a bit nicer about it though.

She probably was just a bit surprised and just sounds like she was being nice to see if you wanted to be included in the takeaway/pouring with rain situation as a group.

Maybe her kids would be more excited to have a takeaway pizza for example than cabbage soup (mine would be too)! But, each to their own.

Did you not have a discussion about any logistics before arranging to go away together at the same place?

I know whos caravan i would prefer to be in (as long as you are a good cook ;-)

Maybe she is just jealous that you will be eating well whilst they sit surrounded by pizza boxes and coke bottles.

Possibly you could have given her a headsup about pre preparing food as she may feel a bit left out which is understandable. If you are not too angry you could maybe invite them over to share one of the meals and pack it out (say the curry) with some extras that they could provide.

Honestly, reheated lasagne is one of my most favourite meals and my family fight over it. You are winning at parenting.

Don't feel embarrassed, you have put effort in to producing good for your family and are being financially responsible. Your friend is inconsiderate.

I’m glad to hear things worked themselves a bit later on, OP.

I don’t think your friend was deliberately being rude. She was probably just a bit taken aback, especially if she’s someone who sees a holiday as a holiday from cooking too! If I was going on a holiday like this, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at someone taking a loaf of bread, eggs and beans for breakfast, packets of pasta etc., but I’d be surprised to see them unloading huge pots of soups and batch cooked lasagnes. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with what you’ve done; it was just a bit unusual to her and she hasn’t hid it very well.

Maybe she also assumed you’d be spending more mealtimes together; therefore the fact that you’d pre-prepared several days’ worth of meals threw her. Again, nothing wrong with you doing that, and maybe now she’s a bit more up to speed with your plan and you’ve had a nice post-dinner evening together, that won’t be an issue.

Maybe she is just jealous that you will be eating well whilst they sit surrounded by pizza boxes and coke bottles.

It’s amazing how many people have suggested the OP’s friend is incredibly rude, yet are prepared to make judgemental and frankly ridiculous comments like this.

I don’t believe for a minute that the OP’s friend is “jealous” of her big pot of bacon and cabbage soup. Surely she’d have cooked food herself if she’d wanted something homemade? All the takeaway hatred on the thread is very OTT too. A lot of people mainly eat out on holiday; it’s not outlandish to think that this was what the friend was expecting, and that it isn’t borne out of “jealousy”.

I get that people are trying to be kind to the OP, and good on them for the sentiment. However, quite a few posters seem to have drifted into the territory of OP and her family being like the Famous Five being fed delicious and healthy homemade treats by a jolly cook, while OP’s friend spontaneously breaks out in spots while her teeth simultaneously drop out from all the greasy, stodgy takeaway she is forced to eat from a polystyrene container, washed down with battery acid strength fizzy drinks, all while sheltering from the rain in a shop doorway.

I think it’s probably down to how you were brought up. My mum would also cook on holiday. We had some meals like fish & chips but only as an occasional thing and rest would be picnic lunch, easy meals in caravan.
If your friend is from a family who didn’t do this then it was probably a surprise. She shouldn’t have been rude. Glad you sorted things.

I really don’t understand why it’s joyless.
Op will have been out and about with the children in the day and probably had icecream etc. Come back to caravan pop lasagne in oven serve with salad or reheat the stew and serve with crusty bread - easy meal everyone likes then back out for evening. It’s easier than ordering takeaway or tired children sat in a pub serving average food.
Some people take slow cookers to caravans.

We either take food with us or do a shop while we’re down there. We eat out a few times but it’s so expensive I’d rather save our money and the kids know no different!

@Tiamaria86 Pleased to see all is ok now and you were able to have some drinks later together. Hope you have a great holiday now

Yea it was a bit rude of her to laugh. Some people can’t understand it but there’s nothing wrong with taking your own food. We’ve done the same before when money has been a bit tight - there’s been years where it’s the only way we could have afforded a holiday at all. I actually enjoyed cooking the meals ahead… it got me excited for the holiday! I buy the foil take away trays so it’s minimal washing up and I make ahead and freeze then take in a cool box. (For anyone perplexed at the idea of eating “old food” haha!).
These days we thankfully have a bit more disposable cash so treat ourselves a bit more on holidays, but would still have absolutely no shame in doing this again if we needed to!

I like your style (and your soup) and we always took lots of cooked meals/ingredients away with us when camping or self catering. It was part of the budgeting that allowed us to take the holidays in the first place.
Ignore your friend. She sounds a bit rude.

Ohhhh…totally this. We usually went self-catered on holiday and so I grew up cooking and making beds etc, with the occasional meal out as a treat. Now I’m in my forties, I prefer to book self catered and always prep food and take it with me. My other half only had hotel holidays growing up and used to prefer those instead, with meals out every night.

First time he saw me prepping sandwiches in the morning, he took the piss out of me mercilessly (right up to the point it was half two, the place had shut down for siesta and he was starving that is - then he wanted my handbag sarnies!). Fast forward thirteen years and he gets highly upset if the hotel room doesn’t have a mini-fridge so we can put in some basics/pre-prepped food to keep us going 😁

we go away to stay away horse shows, sometimes for 4/5 days at a time. We ALWAYS take home made stuff if we can. A, it’s faster than waiting for a takeaway to arrive and B, it’s cheaper! I’m not paying for a takeaway every night. Plus takeaways make me feel rubbish when I eat them

Your food is much healthier. You should be proud.

Each to their own but I am surprised by the recurring theme that people think it’s ok to comment or even laugh at other people’s choices. You people- you know who you are- why?

OP it’s your holiday your choice your family and they are happy. Have more self confidence and laugh back at her for her choices!

BTW I am a ‘eat out I am on holiday’ type but that’s my choice and I won’t judge others. But I balance costs by s/c breakfast or making packed lunches.

Better your children eat nutritious home cooked than takeaways which are often filled with rubbish. You have done the right thing by bringing your own.

your friend is not being much of a friend! And yes, she was rude!

The soup sounds lush. Think I need the recipe too.

When I first went away in a holiday cottage I thought we could just buy stuff from the local shop and eat takeaways. Total disaster! Local shop had barely anything and there's only so much takeaway you want!

The next time we planned about 50/50. Takeaway fish and chips, a Chinese, and fresh prawns and bread. And brought pasta with a jar of sauce, baking potatoes and cheese etc. We also realised that doing a big shop in the nearest large supermarket to get essentials was equally important so we didn't have to go out to breakfast every day either.

I suspect your friend hasn't appreciated that getting a takeout when your kids are hungry and tired isn't always the best option. You're definitely not a tight-wad.

She sounds like a shite friend! We've always brought food on caravan holidays or cooked something simple like spag bol & garlic bread. We couldn't afford to eat out or get takeaways every day and my kids like home cooked food anyway!

All the food in your meal plan sounds delicious, recipe stolen.

Why do you think that her friend felt inferior? I must admit that if i went away and my friends were away at the same time and staying in a caravan near mine.

I maybe would have thought it odd to have brought cabbage soup away. I think the OP's kids are in the minority to prefer that over a dominoes or fish and chips.

I maybe would have thought it odd to have brought cabbage soup away. I think the OP's kids are in the minority to prefer that over a dominoes or fish and chips.

Yes, I’m finding all the faux takeaway hatred on this thread a little hard to swallow. My favourites are the posters saying how much quicker homemade lasagne is because you have to wait for a takeaway to be delivered. 1) Welcome to how takeaways work and 2) Shall we all pretend the lasagne didn’t take 90 minutes to cook and prepare in the first place?

I agree, but to be fair the op didn’t say they preferred it, just they like cabbage soup. I’d hazard a guess given a choice the kids would be eating out

on saying that though, I think people are just trying to make the op feel better that she had to bring food with her, and many empathise, as they have to do the same financially.

Why is dislike of takeaways fake (or 'faux')?
Just look at the massive health problems British kids have, partly from eating crap. Her kids are under 5 years old, why should she feed them processed rubbish or deep fried food? Good on her for making them nutritious food - she's to be admired.
It's irresponsible to feed kids dominoes just because they prefer it. Most kids 'prefer' sugary crap, doesn't mean a decent parent should feed them it.