DS threw bully’s phone in lake

[CandidBeaker]

DS, 13, and his friend were being bullied by some other children in the park yesterday and a girl was filming him having his books thrown on the floor so he grabbed the phone from her and threw it into the lake. She hit him and then they all ran over to the lake and DS and his friend came home.

I received an angry voicemail from her mum this morning demanding that I pay for a replacement. I was fuming. I’m not paying for a new phone when she was the one who caused it herself by joining in harassing my son. It’s called karma. If she thinks I’m buying a new one she can fuck off. AIBU?

She filmed it. She didn't do the actual bullying. Not appropriate to throw her phone.

Filming somebody else being bullied makes you complicit, not a bystander

‘Took his anger out on a girl bystander’

Oh please, this is pathetic

I think there are a lot of defensive posts on here by parents of ‘spirited’ children.

How do you think these kids being bullied feel when it's posted all over social media?

They don’t care. They’re on the side of bullies, end of.

I don’t even know this boy and yet I feel weirdly proud of him. Society is frankly held to ransom by scumbags and I feel v pleased whenever I see somebody with the gumption to stand up to them. Like the bloke who gave the armed shop robber the other day a good kicking.

It’s tricky.
Filming person in public in school don’t think is criminal.
Phone is gone so no proof

Partly happened at school so there will be loads of fake stories … kids swearing to be telling truth.

But it is property theft & damage

only way your DS off the hook, is by denying that he did anything

Hope the mum isn’t crazy violent poop thru your letterbox type of person.

only get worse for u & yours.

Terrible advice. It was bullying - you have a strange definition of what bullying is. And you want the boy to sit down with this girl as if they are both in the wrong. The OP's mother is protecting him and good for her.

As they say, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

The girl was gleefully filming her friends bullying the OP's child, presumably to share and laugh at to carry on the bullying on social media.

I imagine there's a chance she wasn't the only one filming. It would probably help if you could get a look at any surviving footage to defend your position, OP. But no, I'd not be paying for it if the story is accurate.

She's told her mum a boy grabbed her phone and threw it in the lake. Your son told you he did it because she was filming him being bullied. As far as you've said, there is no independent or impartial account of what happened, and no proof to support either child. You believe your DS, she believes her DD. Stalemate. The only area of agreement is that your DS threw the phone in the lake, because he's admitted it. So I can see why the other mum thinks you should pay. You can explain, but most people believe their own DC.

Deny, deny, deny.

The only thing we or OP know for certain is that her son threw this girl's phone in a lake. Everything else is what OP's son claimed to OP. It may be true, it may not.

I think my approach would be to report the bullying to the school, and wait to see what happens.

I very much doubt the posters on here would be victim blaming the way they are if the ops son was a girl

Good effort DS!

Take away your own son's phone as well and pay for flip phone replacements for both.

Exactly. Tough for this girl. She sounds like a nasty piece of work.

It's alarmingly clear which responses are from people who suffered bullying at school and know what it feels like to be targeted, and which are from the people who haven't got a fucking clue and have never been on the sharp end of it...

I’d pay for the phone. I don’t necessarily disagree with what DS did but on paper, it’s his/your job to replace property he damaged.

Well done your son and no way would I pay for a new phone. I hate bullies

Explain what happened, your son's version, and why he did this. He ought not to have done this - for one thing filming what was going on is evidence about the bullying - but I quite see why he did, because she is taking part in the bullying, isn't she. You will then need to listen to the other mum's version (her DD's version). Tease out the truth, present evidence of previous bullying if there is any. But don't pay for the phone. Karma.

If your son’s version is accurate, I’m surprised that the girl has even told her mum rather than lying and just saying she lost her phone. A normal person would be too ashamed to admit what they were doing and would understand they’d got their just desserts.

Deny all knowledge. Don’t say your son threw the phone but do say the two children were bullying your son and the girl in question was filming the bullying. If the mum persists, ask her if she’s got the phone back as you’re hoping the police will be able to salvage the video from it as evidence.

I’m surprised that the girl has even told her mum rather than lying and just saying she lost her phone. A normal person would be too ashamed to admit what they were doing and would understand they’d got their just desserts.

Read the teacher thread - loads of kids like this now and their parents ‘back them all the way’, something to do with mental health, blah

The girl was being a little shit, but your son broke the law with his response. Morally, from your account of what happened your son is in the right and she deserved it, but that doesn't mean there won't be consequences for what he's done.

Good on your son.
Don't engage at all. Unless via a mediation meeting with school, but this won't happen as schools don't have staff for this.