Children’s diets - where does it all go wrong?

[Inmydreams88]

I am about to wean my baby in the next few weeks. Call me naive but I have high hopes that he will eat my delicious healthy food and enjoy it 🤣

I see most children (I work in a primary school) who eat poor diets. Obviously unless parents weaned them on chicken nuggets and Greggs sausage rolls then they were also weaned on nutritious healthy food, this led me to thinking where does it all go wrong? Is there actually anything I can do now whilst my baby is young that will impact his diet later on? Or do all children go through a beige fussy eating stage?

I completely understand some children have SEN/ND issues which can cause major issues with food, so this thread isn’t about that.

Surely by your own deduction, most children are healthily weaned and at primary school have a less than desirable diet. I think it improves at secondary and young adulthood.

I'm a sahm and did the whole entire blw with a huge variety and always home cooked food. My first dc never ever ate from a jar or pouch. And he turned out to be the fussiest. My baby is a great and adventurous eater but would jump at the chance of anything 'junky'. Seeing a lot of my dc friends eating has also confirmed that they go through phases. You can do your best and have them be picky eaters. I have yet to see a child sit and eat carrots and hummus willingly...

School friends?
It went horribly wrong for us when they started talking about food groups.
So now greens are disgusting apparently, so is sea bass and steak.

Now all she wants to eat is pizza and pasta, no veg, meat, fish or chicken.

For me, both DC were weaned on delicious healthy food. Then I became a single mum, working, 2 under 3.....and my standards dropped if I'm honest. That said, I have continued to put effort into them have a varied healthy diet and they do eat pretty well with a dose of shite

In my experience it goes wrong when parents are so utterly terrified of their child being hungry that they offer them "anything" just to get them to eat.

medical issues aside, children don't starve themselve to death. Children in Africa aren't fussy. In our house you eat the nice tasty healthy dinner, or you're hungry. Baring any huge, genuine dislikes (one of them hates aubergine so I don't make it) but in general healthy home cooked meals, or nothing.

It is child-dependent. You encourage, guide and model, but you can't entirely change their personality. I got a try-anything gannet. My friend got a picky beige picker. Now they're both teenagers mine makes elaborate, spicy Asian food for herself and he does not.

Some things work for everyone:

Food is never a reward or punishment
Offer healthy but don't force.
Model that fruit and especially vegetables are delicious
Don't have piles of crap in the house
Cook and eat together

I think there's an evolutionary thing isn't there? Or at least I'm sure I read it somewhere although it could be bollocks. But as babies get more independent, they are more wary about what they eat because of the risk that it might be poisonous (hence the preference for the same/bland food sometimes).

Doesn't really explain why my 5 year old will only eat pizza and plain pasta but there we go...

In the real world some kids don’t like certain textures and tastes.

Yes, which is why you offer any food 30 times. Because then it's 'safe' for a toddler. If they willingly ate random berries they'd never seen they'd die in Palaeolithic times!

Chicken nuggets, chips etc are very consistent. The same texture, taste every single time. In comparison, fruit & veg can be mushy or sour sometimes. I know that’s why my kids went off them as they got older.

in relation to trying junk food for the first time, kids get invited to birthday parties, people are in a rush and have to throw something in the oven quick, people get hungry when they’re out and about and McDonald’s is a cheap and cheerful option.

lots of veg, keep feeding them load of different veg, eating it your self, and making it a normal thing to eat plenty of every day. From the very first days of school dinners, ask what the veg was, did they have enough veg etc - make sure they know it is the cornerstone of a healthy diet

Limit what is available in the house and model healthy eating habits. Encourage an enjoyment of cooking/interest in food (have recipe books around, cooking programmes to watch, help you cook etc.); encourage children to shop and choose interesting foods (e.g. different fruits).

Both dc always had homemade food and never nuggets etc. however i was able to do it and had the time. The reality is many do not and quick, easy freezer food is all they can manage which is totally understandable. Every child is different and many just do not like certain foods or textures. You just try your best and encourage healthy eating the best you can. Ds17 now delights in telling me he has had chicken nuggets from maccies!!!

Children in Africa aren't fussy

Err they certainly can be. My Algerian niece is one of the fussiest kids I know. It’s a pretty big place.

McDonald’s is a cheap and cheerful option.

My friend's partner worked at MaccyD's and used to bring me the toys. So I could give healthy food with a toy. Bwahahahaha. I think you can buy the toys separately. At least you used to be able to.

It goes wrote ways from my observation, 1. They get a taste for unhealthy foods from eating out, family, friends and 2. They don't get healthy eating modelled because families don't eat together (you'll see on here people saying they give their toddlers "picky tea" rather than a proper meal then eat proper food when they are in bed

Snacking.

Don't get them into that silly habit, especially just to keep them quiet and occupied.

Feed as many small meals as you think they'll need, but don't use food as a babysitter.

I think you’re on to something here. I definitely have hang-ups about DS being hungry (leftover from when I did inadvertently starve him for the first six days of life as nobody realised my milk hadn’t come in, and he ended up seriously unwell in hospital). Now aged 9 he’s tall and strong but eats almost nothing other than plain carbs and it absolutely does my head in. I did everything ‘right’ in the early years and he ate a brilliant varied diet up until he was about 4 but then everything went downhill and I expect I did panic and resort to the beige stodge he liked best :-/

Definitely one of the most stressful aspects of parenting for me so far.

Most babies eat most things. Most kids are a bit fussy. By the time they’re teens they’re emerging out of it and it’s relatively rare (IME) to meet a properly fussy adult. Just do the best you can from the beginning with a good variety of tastes and textures, model healthy eating as a family and don’t make anything a big deal. If they do hit the fussy phase then it’s just that, a phase.

Beige and processed foods are made precisely in order to get people hooked on them. Tasty, easy to eat, sweet and salty, appealing mouth feel, consistent flavour. If it works on adults (who have the awareness to at leasr try to resist it), then obviously it's going to work on small children.

I think it also doesn't help that most "kids menus" when you eat out are chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc.

That and parents generally being time poor so the quickest options aren't always the healthiest.

I've found since DD started school its led to quite a bit of aversions. I think due to being around others who might say "ugh I don't like that" etc and 4 year olds being able to choose their own dinner option (they are realistically going to choose plain pasta with cheese if their friends are etc).

Periods of illness also have a big impact on appetites and then habits can get formed. Sometimes you give your DD anything they will eat just to give them some energy when they are ill (which is regularly) and then they want that all the time... Its hard.

I think focus on unsweetened food as much as possible in the early years e.g. plain yoghurt you add fresh fruit to, home cooked meals as far as possible, veg / fruit presented at every meal whether they eat it or not, regular healthy snacks available in the house. Offer raw veg to nibble at as a starter while you are cooking the dinner.

I also think make sure they know what "real meat" looks like as much as possible, e.g. offer chicken legs, thinly sliced steak, a lamb chop etc instead of breadcrumbed frozen things. Carve a chicken at the table etc. Get a fish from the fish shop and get them involved in cooking it.

My DD age 5 still does not eat a great deal of veg but she enjoys a range of meats and fish, and will generally eat most family meals I make (picking out the bits she doesn't like). I'm ok with that. Some days she will go to a birthday party and eat pretty much cake and crap. Other days will be much better. Building a relationship with food is about playing the long game and just trying to take each day as it comes I think. Don't worry about getting it perfect all the time.

My baby is only 6 months old so we’re

new to weaning, can’t comment on older children. However, I’m constantly told by MIL that there’s little point giving her different fruits & vegetables, ‘as she’ll hate them and won’t eat any of that when she’s older’ 🙄

I just want her to have a varied and healthy diet!! I understand all children go through stages where they won’t eat certain foods but surely the idea is to give them the best start when it comes to trying foods. As much as it possible anyway.

I was really smug with my first two. They were weaned using blw, and ate most foods. Even now they like trying new stuff.

Then I met my third. I have photos of him as a baby and toddler eating Japanese, Indian, Thai, and eating home cooked meals such as roasts, stir fries, pasta, cottage pie etc. He loved the food I made him but then he turned three and would only eat three meals. He didn't like the texture of meat, so would eat Margherita pizza, pesto pasta and his idea of a roast which was peas, sweetcorn and a Yorkshire pud. He likes apples and grapes, will occasionally have a banana but no other fruit l. He has the same lunch usually, occasionally will have crackers and cream cheese.

We have now got him eating 5 meals so I think as he gets older he will get more adventurous hopefully.

The short answer is "Fuck knows".

DD was a wonderful eater, ate everything we gave to her, would turn down chocolate in favour of a piece of fruit, would try anything and anything and had no real interest in unhealthy beige food.

"What marvellous parents we are", we said to each other as we patted each other on the back, marvelling at how we'd got it so right, and not having a clue how we'd done it.

And then at age 5 DD turned into the pickiest, most unadventurous eater, almost overnight. Foods that she'd eaten for years disgusted her, and the beige called to her. As she got older and the childrens menu no longer tempted her, eating out became a nightmare. Even a Margherita pizza, her favourite might have a leaf of basil or some other herb on it.

She's now 16, and thankfully she's coming out the other side of it. She tries new things, her list of options has ballooned again.

I don't know where we went right initially, and I don't know how we then went wrong. I think this most recent change is down to peer pressure, it certainly isn't down to us.

So once again, "Fuck knows."