Children’s diets - where does it all go wrong?

[Inmydreams88]

I am about to wean my baby in the next few weeks. Call me naive but I have high hopes that he will eat my delicious healthy food and enjoy it 🤣

I see most children (I work in a primary school) who eat poor diets. Obviously unless parents weaned them on chicken nuggets and Greggs sausage rolls then they were also weaned on nutritious healthy food, this led me to thinking where does it all go wrong? Is there actually anything I can do now whilst my baby is young that will impact his diet later on? Or do all children go through a beige fussy eating stage?

I completely understand some children have SEN/ND issues which can cause major issues with food, so this thread isn’t about that.

My 10 year old DS has never eaten a nugget or MacDonalds because we don't eat that crap. You're in charge - if you only offer nutritious, home cooked meals at home, that's what your child will eat. However, I'll admit, it takes a lot of effort - meal planning, batch cooking etc as my DH and I both work, but eating good food is a priority for us.

Processed food is designed to be addictive. They have it and lose their taste for simpler food.

I'd recommend this book First Bite By Bee Wilson | Used | 9780007549702 | World of Books (wob.com)
So interesting and useful. But remember there's only so much you can do. And it doesn't matter if they miss a meal. Best thing is modelling healthy and balanced eating, get them involved, give choices, and don't use certain foods as a reward.

Ultimately, you can't control what your child eats when you're not around.

I also think you can go too far with limiting certain food types - if you never let your child have chocolate or cake or "beige" - they're probably going to go bonkers for it when they do get it (eg. at a party or as a teenager with their own money).

My parents were super healthy and into a really wholesome diet but I do think it backfired somewhat. As soon as I could, I bought junk - McDonald's, coke, sweets, chocolate, crisps - and it took well over a decade and a half for me to sort that issue out and fix it again.

For my son it's sensory issues , his diet isn't awful but its very samey because that's all he'll eat. I could present him with a food a million times and if he doesn't like the look , smell , texture then he will not touch it. He'd rather never eat again.
Like anything there are loads of different reasons for fussy / unhealthy eating.

He'll go through a fussy period, there's not a lot you can do! My two both ate a healthy weaning diet but around 3 my oldest decided he only liked pizza and fish & chips 🤣 It's been ongoing for two years now, not through lack of trying! Dinners can be a real battle. It doesn't help that school dinners aren't particularly healthy, and packed lunches are tricky because protein options are limited since we're not allowed peanut butter (one of the few sandwich fillings he'll tolerate apart from jam 😆). There are things you can do to get around it. I make homemade healthy pizza and fish & chips. They both love mindless snacks, especially watching TV (lol) so I always make sure these are healthy - usually a big plate of veggie sticks so at least they're getting in their veg outside of mealtimes. Snacks are always fruit, veg or breadsticks / rice cakes with cheese. In my experience, you can make the healthiest, most elaborate and culturally exciting dishes but kids will always reach for the chicken nuggets!

Ds1 ate everything until he learned to walk. Then almost overnight he cut down to almost nothing. It took years to build back up to average eating with less pickyness. He even loves a mild curry now.

Ds2 was ill a lot as a baby and has always been picky. We often have foods that become inedible overnight, generally when I have just bought a load. He is very difficult to feed starches and proteins, but will eat most fruit and veg with gusto. No chicken nugget, burger or pasta for him! I think it is sensory and will hopefully become easier as he gets older.

Your child has never been to a party? 😱

Usually kids want to eat what they see you eat. Eat a bit first then let them have some if they want to try it

Busy parents just wanting to give their kids what they know they’ll eat. ‘Kids menus’ being 90% beige crap, even in ‘naice’ restaurants doesn’t help.

Some will be fussy, but IMO most kids can tolerate much stronger flavours and textures than people think, but they’ve given bland food from an early age, they get used to it, then don’t want to try things.

Varied school lunch menus help; but there’s parents of fussy DC at our school constantly asking them to make the menus more ‘child friendly’ aka bland and processed.

For us, taking DC out to varied restaurants right from the start helped, telling them they’d get five more minutes on bed times if they just tried something - no pressure to actually eat it.

Who knows really - my DS’s DC are terrible eaters and it puts us off going on holiday with them, etc, as we don’t want to have to find nuggets every single night.

Most babies eat most things. Most primary school aged children are fussy to some degree, and certainly fussier than they were when they were babies. They learn they can say no, they develop preferences. It's all very normal and not worth getting worked up about imo.

Keep giving lots of healthy options, give new things to try alongside foods they like, don't make food a battle. Talk about foods in terms of what they can do - give us energy, help our bones, help us get fewer colds etc etc etc.

Wait until he's a teenager 😂

Don't worry too much. Introduce to different foods and lead by example.

My dc are all totally different in what they will eat but even #1(fussiest) will select healthy food mostly these days. She went to Vietnam and loved the food there which I counted a win.

Growing up and primary school years she would have lived on pasta, croissants and ready brek if she could, teen years featured a lot of kfc!

I heard a podcast on this once that said nature is a significant factor. Some children are naturally more anxious and less predisposed to try new things than others. I saw this in my own daughter who is naturally a very confident and adventurous personality and weaned like a dream, happily demolished everything, not deterred at the next meal if she hated something. So I can believe it's a big factor.

Beyond that I think it's common sense. Offer a range of foods. Home cooked where possible. Don't force it if your child isn't hungry or doesn't like it. Don't get into the habit of always serving the same thing all the time because you know your child will eat it.

Humans have an innate response to be wary of vegetation and brightly coloured foods, as in nature it can be an indicator of toxicity and roughage is not always easily identifiable – that also goes for anything sour or with a pronounced taste. When toddlers become fussy eaters, it is these instincts that are kicking – the 'Caution: be wary of this food' klaxon. Some will have a stronger instinct and pushback than others. So I don't think it really 'goes wrong', unless parents make no effort whatsoever to get off the beige brigade once in a while. As children age they will get better at being more relaxed around food and their palette with develop more sophistication.

You can't really tell what kid is going to do what. I did BLW with my twins and they both ate everything. When they hit two they both became incredibly fussy. Now at 6, one is much, much better and the other is still very suspicious of everything that goes in her mouth and is on her plate. I am confident she will come around if I just keep offering and making food an enjoyable experience for her.

I started off with healthy foods after exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months . My dd only every accepted puréed carrot and puréed apple and then when I tried to stop breastfeeding she refused bottles and got so dehydrated we ended up in hospital so I restarted and had to bf her till she was 4 and a half. Weve tried everything she’s been diagnosed with ARFID but is also very overweight for her age (due to only eating foods that are higher fat and she was introduced to crisps in the hospital setting ! An ‘allergy’ meal that consisted of baked beans, peas, stewed apple and a pack of ready salted crisps ??!!! From that day she eats them so much and the dietician said whatever keeps the ng tube away just let her eat)

It's funny isn't it

I'd say we perhaps had a mixture of jars/pouches and homemade etc

But mine did love carrot and hummus 😂

Age 2 going to nursery thats where it all changed for us. The constant snacks they offered etc. But yes go off and preach at us.

Mine have always eaten better at nursery than at home - all that lovely fresh cooked food, stuffed with veg, then they come home crying for ketchup. Double portions of curry in nursery, won't touch any curry we've tried at home. Etc etc etc.

ND kid here and I would love it if he ate a chicken nugget as that would be some kind of meat/protein source. Not sure why more generally on diets but imagine time and money could be a factor linked with fussiness. My DC has a lot of sensory issues and it is a lot of effort to work on everyday offering something new in a food chaining way and a tricky balance to strike between insisting on healthy options and making sure he gets enough calories (dietician advice is actually just focus on calories!). Much easier just to go with what kids will eat in general I guess. But I would say if my DC who only eats a small number of foods is growing well and nutritional blood tests show no issues then it probably isn't worth worrying about that much. They somehow survive and whatever you can do to install healthy habits and attitudes will be fine

I think what happens is kids get older - parents are tired and start shoving a lot of freezer staples in front of them once they are out of the baby stage - and parents lose the time and energy to cook a wide range of healthy meals -

Chidlren start to say no and yuck to stuff! and instead of perservering - unfortunatly a lot of parents - including me!) - just can't face cooking lovely meals that are not eaten and just chuck fish fingers in front of their kids

It's a mystery to be honest!

My son is 4.5 and ate anything and everything up until about 2.5/3 when he slowly but surely got more restrictive. It happened so gradually we didn't notice at first or we'd say oh well at least he still eats loads of other bits. Until he didn't!

The weird thing is, while he's fussy, his safe foods aren't what you'd think. His favourite is pasta in a tomato and garlic sauce with lots of parmesan cheese. Pizza has to be loaded with mushrooms. He'll have a curry if he's feeling adventurous, it will be a mushroom korma 🤣

He has beans and mushrooms with toast or tomato soup almost whenever it's offered.

He loves chocolate, ice cream etc but we're currently on holiday and ill (typical!) and he's refused an ice cream but eaten 2 pears and an orange so it's not all bad 🤣

I refuse to make a battle out of food. We eat all together at the table some nights, others we eat with a film on the sofa. Sometimes we all eat the same, other times he has something different. I put stuff on his plate but no pressure to eat it. He actually eats colcannon mash now after eventually trying it and deeming it "quite nice actually" 🤣

He comes shopping with us and helps me cook. He proudly tells everyone "my mama makes the BEST casserole, it smells yummy, I help do the dumplings" but then adds "I don't eat it, but it smells nice" 🤦 He was very curious about a mushroom and 3 cheese risotto I make regularly though (he helps chop the mushrooms and grate the cheese) and has assured me he will try it... one day!

Well done in completely missing the point 🏆

I think all you can do is model healthy eating by ensuring that the adults in the family eat healthy food and that you all sit down and eat together as much as possible. And don't buy special "children's food".

I had a friend who was amazed that my children are Weetabix or porridge with fruit for breakfast. She said her child would only eat Coco pops. He was 4. He didn't buy his own food so presumably she had started feeding him Coco pops. Why? Similarly she said he would only eat white bread and juice drinks and that he didn't like any fruit or vegetables and he was never without a bag of crisps in his hand. By the age of 10, when they moved away, the poor boy was noticeably obese.

On the other hand, I think you can go too far. I used to put a small biscuit or a few smarties or squares of chocolate in my DC's lunchboxes because I didn't want them to feel those things were forbidden or to feel deprived if other children had lunchboxes full of sweets. When my daughter was about six I found she was selling her chocolate to a friend whose mother was very strict about food and who was never allowed to have chocolate. (I had to put a stop to my DD's fledging business obviously!)

And you may not be able to avoid a picky stage. At the age of 5 my DS would pretty much only eat cucumber, cheese, boiled eggs, apples, boiled potatoes and spaghetti for about 4 months. I comforted myself with the thought that this was a reasonably balanced diet, and fortunately he grew out of it.

So you can only do your best. My DC are now a healthy weight in their 30s, eat a healthy balanced diet, love cooking and are bringing their DC up the way they were brought up. So I assume I did ok.

I was grand until the potty training, then started giving them chocolate buttons and never got back on track after that.

They are grown up now and it all turned out ok but just to say that they all have minds of their own, all you can do is your best every day.