To wonder if addiction is a choice

[BarbaraAnnee]

I am sorry if this sounds insensitive to some people but I just wondered what people thought of this. A relative of mine is an alcoholic and due to her being unfit, her parents have had to permanently look after her DD. I feel so bad for her and just wondered if she really loved her DD she would just stop drinking?

Very ignorant of you. Nobody chooses addiction of any kind be it food, booze, drugs, gambling or whatever.

It's an illness. Educate yourself please.

'Getting bogged down in descriptors isn’t always constructive. Action speaks louder than words'

Indeed.

'Have a good day', not quite the same tone as someone who previously told folk to ignore 'addiction porn twats'. Lovely. I'm not an addiction porn twat I just rather believe the enabling, excusing, medicalising of a compulsion and 'you're amazing' narrative isn't helpful.

Perhaps I should be flattered that you’re policing my comments 😂

In the meantime, your beliefs and opinions are as valid as any one else’s on this thread.

I'm reading comments, it's what happens on a chat forum and as I said 'ignore the twats' to 'have a nice day' is rather a big swing in tone, no?

Make of it what you will, lovely. Life is too short for futile dialogue.

Life is too short for futile dialogue .

I personally think life is too short to destroy one's own life and everyone who unfortunately knows you by giving in to compulsions but that's just me lovely.

imo i think drinking/using drugs starts off as a choice but if you have that addictive personality, it can become an addiction/MH. Help is out there to stop/taper off, which obviously is bloody hard but not impossible. I think if some does want to get clean badly, they could do it.

Oh god, are you STILL going?

Do you have an addiction to this thread?

@KarenOH 🤣

You need to rtft. I haven't posted on this for days then someone yesterday decided to call those who are contributing twats and those 'in recovery' amazing and here we are.

Its not your thread, so you could just.....not comment.

You have made your views PERFECTLY clear.

I'll comment when I like thanks.

The point is you said 'oh god are you STILL GOING', when I hadn't posted here for over a week. So no i wasn't 'still going'. However if someone is going to post comments like 'addiction porn twats' and 'anyone trying to stop are amazing' then it's fair to say folk will and can respond to correct them.

So a chance at life for some, but not for the wicked others eh?

Interesting…

Not believing that addicts/alcoholics deserve to and can get well is quite a punishing and limited take.

Whatever shall we do with those pesky people in recovery who now contribute to their communities? How very dare they get on with their lives, have meaningful relationships with their families, play their part in society?

I'm sorry who are you responding to because I don't believe I have ever said they shouldn't seek help to stop whatever they take that is destroying their lives?

Just stop the enabling and excusing. For example, 'I'm an addict and I am seeking help to stop my destructive behaviour so I can have meaningful relationships' etc etc works fine imo. 'I have a disease that isn't my fault and I've no control over caused by everyone else's actions and counselling is full of nodding dogs' not so much.

For me, now I'm in recovery, the decision to use would be a choice. What happens after I take that first one, isn't.

I don't know what made me an addict and I'm not overly concerned in finding out. I'm coming up on 2years clean and I do feel proud about that. I had a difficult childhood and early adulthood, a lot of abuse, but as others say that isn't always a fast track onto addiction. I did learn from a very young age that when I was upset or emotional and I drank, I couldn't control it. It went from drinking, to taking mams cocodsmol, to ordering it online, to buying dihydrocodeine online, getting hopelessly addicted, getting imto awful debt, getting on a script and starting the process of recovery

The stigma of addiction and the stereotypical addict is so so untrue. I worked, all the time. I've never been in any trouble with the law and have never been to a dealer. I've never smoked, and I now work within tje criminal justice system. None of that means I am not an addict

I do think being an addict in recovery gives me a lot of benefits I wouldn't have had otherwise. For me it's not just about drink and drugs although I do still fantasise at times. I attend NA meetings, have a fantastic sponsor and work the steps.

I have learnt so much about myself since starting the steps and am only halfway through. I think the biggest one is realising some aspects of me , my fears, that can cause me and others problems particularly within relationships. Acknowledging that the abuse wasn't my fault, but I have responsibility for myself now. Learning to love myself. Learning to act according to principles. Having more compassion for others. Not being perfect, but having some faith.

And beinh an addict in recovery doesn't mean making excuses for people. I actually find the opposite. No one sits in a meetinh and thinks its OK for so and so to do x y and z and cheat and lie and steal. Addicts are the least enabling people I know.
We still have our values, our beliefs, our thoughts. I will never in a million years think neglecting a child or a pet is OK. I do judge internally. I also remind myself that if they're at a meeting they are looking for help.

The chances are we all know someone in recovery, whether we know it or not. Some addicts in recovery post on social media how amazing they are and how sobriety is their superpower. A lot more don't.

I actually think the world would be a much better place if more people adopted the principles of recovery. Many people are stuck in their own heads, unable to see different perspectives, unhappy in some cases. The 12 steps aren't a miracle fix but they have definitely helped me.

I'm not proud of what I have done in the past. I am proud of who I am now. I don't pat myself on the back for getting up and going to work because as someone so rightly said its being a normal human being. But I am proud of the change in myself. And I see so many miracles in others in recoverh daily

And please don't confuse being on recovery with thinking that using is OK. It isn't.

It's often a choice to start the behaviour that leads to addiction. Not always, sadly. So many reasons causes of addiction.

Typical self-obsessed addict.

Your loved ones are the ones that need the sympathy and reminders that they are amazing.

Its so hard when you are with the addict. Their behaviours are so unbelievably selfish. Sometimes it feels like you have to constantly forgive without ever hearing im sorry, or having them really listen to the impact their behaviours have had on you.
I dont disagree that becoming clean is a monumental task, but so is supporting and ooving someone with nothing back most of the time.
An empty bucket cant pour
Much love and best wishes to those who have addicts in the family and who feel overwhelmed, lonely and unsupported.

Totally agree here. I've been on this side of it too and there comes a point where you need to go NC or end the relationship for your own sanity. Unfortunately some people think getting into recovery is enough and their loved ones are left with so much hurt, anger, PTSD etc. It's really not good enough just to say "I'm clean now well done me" there's so much damage from the wreckage to clear up and that's not on the family of the addict. That should be on the addict to do that. I know I've definitely made and continue to make amends and clear the wreckage. Families and loved ones of addicts really are amazing.

What made you think you was an alcoholic/addict? was you aware you were addicted?

when you said you took your mums co-codamol and ordered dihydrocodeine, how many were you taking? I personally wouldnt take more than the recommended dose due to the paracetamol, are addicts aware of that and just do not care about the risks?

It isnt the codeine that will kill you, its the paracetamol

I think I always knew I used alcohol to deal with negative emotions and I'd struggle to stop. I'm not really sure when I crossed the line, but I did. I remember very clearly the first time I realised I was addicted to them. I'd not had any tablets for one reason or the other and was in pain. A bit like.a flu, diarrhea, I couldn't work it out, I hadn't eaten anything different. The only thing different was no pills. Once I took some, 40mins later I felt better.

At my height I was taking between 25 to 40 dihydrocodeine tablets a day, 30-40mg with 500mg paracetamol in each. I was certainly overdosing on paracetamol.

For me, I definitely didn't care about the paracetamol. On a level I 'knew' it was dangerous but thought I'd be fine, the doctors exaggerate, delusion and denial, complete feelings of invincibility. I know some people do cold water extraction. I always thought that was too much effort and that I would just the painkillers anyway. Looking back, I'm very fortunate to have not suffered ill effects. A friend of mine, he has gotten sober but is currently in hospital with his pancreas failing after years of abuse. Seeing him there has really driven it home just how fortunate I am. By rights, I should be in the bed next to him. Makes me really remember how lucky I am.

You have a similar story to me. I don't know how but I'm healthy after years of abusing pain killers, co codamol etc. I am so so grateful I am where I am today and able to say I'm clean over 3 years. One day at a time

My son does the cold water extraction every day with 32 cocodamol.

What a bloody palaver! - slightly better than a needle in his arm though.

And then 24 ibuprofen throughout the day.

I despair, I really do.