To wonder if addiction is a choice

[BarbaraAnnee]

I am sorry if this sounds insensitive to some people but I just wondered what people thought of this. A relative of mine is an alcoholic and due to her being unfit, her parents have had to permanently look after her DD. I feel so bad for her and just wondered if she really loved her DD she would just stop drinking?

Smoking is harmful, it is written all over the packet. I am not saying it is the same as drugs or alcohol as they obviously have physical withdrawal which a person would struggle with. People do pick up a cigarette when stressed though and it helps them. The mental side of it is probably equal

Yes that's all very interesting. My point though was why do smokers tend to accept it's their fault that they are addicted to smoking yet drunks and drug takers blame everyone else? Yes yes drug takers get europhia etc but from a purely addiction point of view why do smokers own it and drunks blame everyone else?

Perhaps smokers should run some addicts classes on empowerment and self awareness?

You say you work in mental health. You aren't actually working with addicts are you? I bet they love you if so all this enabling and excusing.

I don’t think you understand what “enabling” means.

I just think the more we allow addicts to believe that they are unwell, they will use that as an excuse to carry on using. Surely it is more empowering for them to know that it is a choice and it would take a very strong person to overcome. Instead we make them believe that this is a life long illness with slim chance of staying clean as they will suffer with it forever.

If I thought I had to battle something for the rest of my life I would probably carry on using too.

Justifying and supporting problematic behaviours, coming up with constant reasons/excuses, allowing a person who has problems to think it isnt their fault it's everything that has happened to them. Agreeing with a person that they have no control over their actions. Shall I go on?

We all face massive challenges. If you do work with addicts have you tried to explain resilience and discuss coping positive strategies with them?

Yeah - you don’t understand what justify means either.

here’s a tip - a career path working with addicts won’t be for you.

Its exactly what has happened throughout this thread They are addicts because of what's happened to them. Shit has happened to everyone!

Do not try to justify the actions of people who destroy their own lives and everyone close to them because they chose their lifestyle.

Nor me. Obviously.

You still don’t know what the word means.

It’s definitely not a choice, imo it’s a mix of nature and nurture, it’s possible that you’re predisposed to addiction but your formative years don’t lead you to a place where you find your “vice” - ie you have no trauma, a solid and secure relationship with care givers etc. so an addiction has no calling? Or you could be someone who isn’t predisposed but through circumstance find something that helps and it becomes habit and addictive that way.

I absolutely believe there are ppl who just don’t have an addictive personality, I can give or take anything really, smoked socially for fun in my 20s, “gave up” and never struggled, not arsed to drink, not arsed on anything really. I am a take it or leave it person, very average! My sibling though - highly addictive and has had active addiction for 20+ years.
we had the same upbringing / nurture so can only assume it’s something in their genes or nature.

@Janiie @BarbaraAnnee so exactly what would your solution be? Punish them? No treatment on the NHS? What is your alternative to trauma informed, compassionate care? Isn't that what you would want for your relatives? Because I wouldn't want you caring for mine with your attitudes.
Non judgemental, empowering support is what you get from me. Working within guidance. Not enabling, not excusing. But you won't get far with saying 'this is your fault, you're weak, you're lacking impulse control'

You are making this thread about yourself.

Your smart arse commentary is tedious for those of us who have suffered drug addiction/alcohol problems, and for those who’ve lost loved ones.

I don't think by telling them they will struggle with this for life is helpful either. I would instantly give up, I think this is a big part of it. We can blame the mental health issues that they have and help them get that sorted but telling them that their addiction is a life sentence is morbid and is a ticket to relapse IMHO

“I don’t understand why people have addictions because I would just not get addicted”

and

“addicts just are too lazy and selfish to get help because there is lots of help out there. I would just get help because I am a strong person.”

basically sums up OPs incredible emotionally shallow, lazy and offensive perspective

I think you are being very generous to call anything OP has said as “smart”.

So why don’t you open a rehab centre to pioneer your treatment method?

Day one: Right you pathetic lush, you think you can’t stop drinking but it’s actually really simple! You just have to CHOOSE not to drink. There you go, off you pop…

Thanks so much Babs! I’d have done it years ago if only I’d known it would actually be this easy!

And then when they start fitting, what’s your magic cure for that?

Oh no sorry you misunderstand. Support and counselling yes definitely.

What I don't agree with are the addicts who blame everything and everyone else and think their brain is wired differently because some people enable these thoughts. Those who think challenges they've faced allow and explain their destructive behaviour. Very few people have had an easy life.

You need to be very tough with these people. People are in control of their own actions.

Very interesting, thank you.

Fascinating that some addicts can change, and can reform- and others can't, or won't. Some who will agree to seek help, and others who will absolutely refuse, and will even totally deny their addiction.

Thanks for that

I have not said any of those things. I have said previously that I would probably love drugs and be at risk of becoming an addict. I just realise there are so many steps in-betweencan you not?

I'm an addict. I'm just over 3 years clean and trust me any choice is taken away from us when we use drugs. A part of our brain is wired completely differently and when we pick up drink or drugs we simply cannot stop. We move from one obsession to another until we finally surrender and admit our life is unmanageable. Today I don't have a drug problem however I do have a thinking problem, as in I don't cope with life on life's terms the same as a non addict.
It is possible to stop but we have to do it for ourselves, not for our husbands, wives or children. Once we stop using or drinking we cannot use successfully ever again. One is too many and a thousand never enough.
We are judged so harshly because of the lack of education and also because the ways and means some of us get drugs. If I were you I'd maybe attend al-anon. It's for families of addicts/alcoholics. But I want to reiterate, addiction is NOT a choice. We don't wake up and choose to fuck our lives up. Once we become clean and lose the obsession to use THEN we have a choice. Today I have a choice. I chose not to use or drink.
Hope this was helpful to you OP 🙂

Your comments are treating addiction - a complex, profound and devastating condition - as a spectator sport.

Shame on you.