To wonder if addiction is a choice

[BarbaraAnnee]

I am sorry if this sounds insensitive to some people but I just wondered what people thought of this. A relative of mine is an alcoholic and due to her being unfit, her parents have had to permanently look after her DD. I feel so bad for her and just wondered if she really loved her DD she would just stop drinking?

Erm, the beginning?

So you never smoked, tried a fag or smoked any weed?

Yes but how that can lead to smoking crack is down to the person

Honestly you’re being ridiculous now.

I do understand that, and i do have compassion. But, at some point i had to have compassion for myself. You cant underestimate the abuse, and it is abuse that adicts can dish out. And im not talking about physical, im talking about the lying, manipulation and gaslighting.
We went through a cbt based programme called change live grow, and they said that adicts have to take responsibility for the pain they cause and not to hide behind the illness.
Obviously there is a time and a place to have those conversations, but when you live with an addict you are in constant fight fllight mode, he totalled our car , ruined our finances and cheated, he used to go mussing for days at a time without answering the phone. You cant really blame those things on addiction, they are choices.

Many people have tried smoking, most people have tried booze and I would guess a lot of people have tried drugs.

What most people don't do is then do it all all day every day. Well smokers might but smokers are the very few addicts who seem able to accept responsibility 'yes it's shit, expensive and unhealthy I should quit', you don't hear them blaming trauma or asking folk to 'empower' them to stop.

Addiction Is Not A Disease

@Janiie because it's a completely different bloody feeling, you do get that don't you? Smoking a cigarette isn't an intense search for oblivion. Drugs, drinking to excess, food, self harm, all ways of trying to block out thoughts and feeling. I even knew someone who was addicted to unprotected sex and having abortions.
Again why do you think people choose this life? Why would anyone?

How can you be addicted to having abortions, you cant even know you will get pregnant.

It's a choice. You know that heroin, crack, coke etc are addictive. Every one under 60 knows fags are bad for you. So why start.

Booze, gambling,prescription drugs...surely (like me and the booze) you realise with all the publicity surrounding them you know before it's too late to reign it in. I've never really gambled because I have addicts in the family and resist all drugs because I don't want to be hooked

Addictions are addictions. I couldn't give a rat's ass what feeling they get tbh.

As I say smokers always seem able to accept it's their responsibility, they don't blame their traumas or anyone else. Drug addicts and boozers alway enabling their behaviour encouraged and empowered by people like you.

Addicted to unprotected sex and abortions. That is just absolutely appalling.

You cant be addicted to abortions it is not a thing. Sex yes, but abortions, it is like saying you are addicted to IVF, what the hell.

@Janiie well for those of us working in mental health, yes it does actually matter what the feeling is. How would we treat depression, mania, paranoia without any understanding about the feeling which these give someone??
The difference between Karen who likes a wine and an alcohol dependent person is that Karen isn't probably searching to leave all of her world behind, push people away, sabotage her life and punish herself. The addict is.
That's why we don't treat someone just for tobacco dependency. Addiction is about more than just not being able to go without something or we would be treating workaholics and obsessive gym bunnies. It has to have a significant and detrimental impact on their health or wellbeing. That's what makes it problematic.

They do treat nicotine dependency with NRT though? and there are programmes in pharmacies, Surgeries etc.

I've had a prescription for codeine for years for chronic pain while waiting for a series of operations, and I can stop taking them if I choose to without much issue at all. In fact, I haven't filled my prescription in a couple of months as my pain has settled a bit and I've been fine, no withdrawals or cravings. So it's not so black and white. I think there's a genetic component to people's propensity to become physically dependent on substances, and some people are just more resistant to developing a dependency to certain things.

I don't think it's a choice once hooked, but I do believe often the initial uptake of said addiction substance/ behaviour is a choice where people know there's a chance of addictionj

I think if you are sensible with regards to the dosage and notice patterns early on you will be fine. How somebody gets to a point of 60 a day and dont recognise a problem early on is beyond me

i am not surprised you have difficulty comprehending things.

Why is that?

Because I have eyes and have read your posts.

Because you don't seem to be able to take on any different perspectives to your own. Why post in AIBU if you're mind is already made up?

I expect you think that people can will themselves to recover from cancer, too.

I just think that an addicts actions and their impacts on others shouldnt be discounted. The focus is always on the addicts trauma, and not the trauma they cause others.

Damn right its shameful that someone cant look after their kids through addiction. If you want to quit, there are lots of options

That is an absolutely ridiculous statement and you should be ashamed of yourself.

@BarbaraAnnee you're not really getting it are you? Yes you can treat nicotine addiction with patches etc. The treatment for that would not work on crack addiction, alcohol addiction or sex addiction. It won't work on over eating or gambling. They are very different addictions with very different routes and very different outcomes. With cigarette addiction, you are treating a very addictive substance with another less harmful substance and gradually reducing the amount.
With crack, heroin, alcohol you are not only treating the actual physical addiction to this substance but the many, many other factors like why they drank in the first place, shame, lifestyle, the impact of their drinking on family, building up social connections etc