Father's Day unwanted gift

[fedupforever]

Husband hinted for an expensive gift for Father's Day, new sunglasses that would cost anything from £100 upwards. I bought a few bits the kids picked for him, the usual dad bits and bobs, chocolate etc and printed a voucher for the glasses and said we will go shopping as I don't know what style you'd like and can put money towards them if you like a very expensive pair.

Straight away his face was tripping him and he said the voucher was worthless as I'd given him vouchers in the past that had not been redeemed - for a new cinema that opened but when we hire a babysitter it's been for nights out and we didn't fancy the cinema as wanted to have a meal and drinks instead or went out with friends. This was something we had discussed prior to going out and both agreed the cinema didn't feel worth it when we were paying a lot of money for a babysitter.

I wasn't happy with the comment and thought it was really rude and quite selfish. We don't have much money and I don't buy myself much, I recently spent my birthday voucher he got me on a gift for a friend as I couldn't afford to buy one otherwise. I don't have spare cash to replace the voucher.

Aibu to think this comment was out of order and to feel hurt by this?

He needs to grow up doesnt he and behave like an actual adult. its fathers day not some significant birthday. a card and a token gift at most not money spent by the partner on a gift supposedly from the children. a handmade card and some chocolates. really is he like this at every birthday and christmas? make a deal with him. fathers and mothers day card and small token present in future.

I agree he needs to grow up. I've said this to him before and today and he can't take it. He takes big offence to being told he's behaving like a child. It's like a red rag to a bull but how do you explain he needs to grow up otherwise??

Really disappointed in his behaviour today. Had he not hinted for the glasses I would have got him some lovely presents to actually open as I'm not a fan of gifting vouchers or money. He's also the man who has everything so is hard to buy for

Well don't spend £100 on a gift.. if you can't afford to give him the cash then you can't afford to buy him the gift

It’s supposed to be gifts from the kids, not a spoilt adult writing a shopping list

What an ungrateful sod.

He's not your father. The most I've ever done is encourage the kids to make a card and bring their dad a cup of tea in bed! That's all I would ever like on mother's day too

Father's Day is about small personal gifts from the children. Have a chat with your Dh to discuss how much and what sort of gifts you can both expect for future Mother and Father's Day.

He sounds rather greedy picking himself an expensive gift, that you can't easily afford, for father's day. Father's day us about the children giving little gifts to show appreciation for their dad not greediness.

A box of chocolates, dad keyring, dad mug etc and a family lunch is much more what father's day is about.

He seems to think it's his birthday or Christmas. Even if it was, no one should ask their partner for something that isn't easily within their financial means.

Let him buy his own glasses.

Enjoy your new sunglasses OP 😎

Sounds like a spoilt brat. If he wants sunglasses he can buy them himself. In my family you get what you are given and be thankful for it.

Why are you buying him anything? He's not your dad. And it's not like your children are babies and too young to get anything from themselves. Plus, aren't father's day presents supposed to be chocolates or mugs or something, not expensive requests?

So ‘the man who has everything’ has been rude to the woman who has seemingly not enough money to buy a friend a present?
He sounds like a spoilt prick.

What?! Surely “the usual Dad bits and bobs” and chocolate IS a decent present for Father’s Day?! Who asks for expensive gifts costing upwards of £100 especially if you don’t have too much spare cash. It’s not his birthday! I bought DP a jar of chutney and a lemon cake 😂.

I think I’d just say “take it or leave it” and next year just give him chocs and that’s it.

This. Seriously, WTAF! Father’s Day is a can of beer with a cheap engraved glass from the kids, not sulking because you’ve not got a pair of expensive sunglasses.

That's so greedy, my 11 year old chose DH a bottle of whisky (not an expensive one) and made him some millionaires shortbread and helped me to make tea, that was his fave present. It's fathers day not a big birthday

Sunglasses seem like such an odd gift for father day. What kind of thing does he (or you for Mother's Day) normally get? I'm trying to work out if he wanted something within your ordinary gift giving. For us the kids always made a card and we bought some chocolates together for him. Now they are adults, they buy the card and chocolates themselves. No sunglasses.

You evidently haven't got much money but you spent that much! Ridiculous! Mothers and Fathers days are about spending time with family, homemade cards, a small gift at a push.

You've bought into the commercialisation of these events and your DH is a child.

He seems to have picked a present which exceeds the budget you would have realistically had, which is a problem. £100 is high for Fathers Day as far as I am concerned. He should have asked for something more like £20.

However, as long as it is said in a kind way, I don't believe in "just smile and say thanks" when it comes to gifts between partners. Otherwise it is just a waste of money in the name of politeness. I would much rather my DH let me know when my gifts miss the mark so I can ensure I don't waste money on the same thing again.

If you are short of money, you need to cancel mothers/Father’s Day shite entirely. If you want to mark the day, it can be done with a kid made card, nice breakfast made/get a lie in etc.

we got my dh a card and 4 beers, which he will enjoy watching the football with. That’s it. No major financial outlay.

your dh is right about vouchers. Millions of vouchers must expire. However, he was rude to express this immediately today.

How can you send £100 on a Father's Day gift of you're short of money, that's mad

Have I missed something here - why would you buy a Father's Day present for your husband? Isn't it meant to be your children buying or making something for their dad?

What did he get you for mothers’ day?

I feel that everyone has also missed that he gave you a voucher but you couldn’t give him one? Putting aside that fathers day shouldn’t be from you, this itself os ridiculous. I can bet my bottom dollar that he spent significantly less on your birthday voucher 🤔

Bloody hell. My DH was happy with the pair of novelty socks and a tub of haribo that DC chose themselves

Op I don't mean this in a rude way but you say you don't have much money, you used your own voucher to purchase another gift for a friend but you must have money for the vouchers you both keep buying and or for the lovely gifts you would have bought and for a fathers day designer sunglasses £100 upwards as well. Why can't you afford a gift for a friend?