Father's Day unwanted gift

[fedupforever]

Husband hinted for an expensive gift for Father's Day, new sunglasses that would cost anything from £100 upwards. I bought a few bits the kids picked for him, the usual dad bits and bobs, chocolate etc and printed a voucher for the glasses and said we will go shopping as I don't know what style you'd like and can put money towards them if you like a very expensive pair.

Straight away his face was tripping him and he said the voucher was worthless as I'd given him vouchers in the past that had not been redeemed - for a new cinema that opened but when we hire a babysitter it's been for nights out and we didn't fancy the cinema as wanted to have a meal and drinks instead or went out with friends. This was something we had discussed prior to going out and both agreed the cinema didn't feel worth it when we were paying a lot of money for a babysitter.

I wasn't happy with the comment and thought it was really rude and quite selfish. We don't have much money and I don't buy myself much, I recently spent my birthday voucher he got me on a gift for a friend as I couldn't afford to buy one otherwise. I don't have spare cash to replace the voucher.

Aibu to think this comment was out of order and to feel hurt by this?

Yeah I agree it is in poor taste, for Mother's Day I got a voucher for a massage, other bits and bobs that were appreciated but I didn't ask for anything. I never do. I tell them to make me a card and this year asked for the toy cupboard to get cleaned out instead of a gift 🙈

Its awful all this mothers day, fathers day pressure, everyone has a irthday what's wrong with celebrating that it's your special day.
It's too much having to buy for every made up occasion.

Tell him to wait for his birthday.

Why on earth did you use what he gave you for a friend? If you haven't got money, then friends need to understand that they aren't getting gifts.

My kids got their dad a Toblerone! I think I need to up my game 🤣

yanbu he is being bratty

I recently spent my birthday voucher he got me on a gift for a friend as I couldn't afford to buy one otherwise. I'd be really annoyed by this OP. He didn't want to buy your friend a gift he bought you a gift. If you don't have money then don't buy your friends a gift. You're not in primary school.

Oh! So you've been doing like IOUs? But never letting him redeem them? That is a bit shit

Socks and chocolate are standard Father’s Day fare here.

Sounds extravagant to expect anything other than a token gift, especially if money is tight!!

Gave him 2 IOUs for this Father's Day and last years Father's Day yes but he's free to redeem them when he wants. We booked a babysitter and chose to go to a friends party instead of the cinema. Another time we went out for drinks and a game of pool. We don't go out often and it's generally him that chooses what we do. We pay for a babysitter so it's a dear night out and wanted to spend the money elsewhere.

Fwiw I buy him all his clothes, toiletries, anything he needs. He doesn't buy himself anything so I feel like he's maybe huffing coz he 'needs' new glasses and I've not produced them but the last few months have been tough and I was planning on getting a few token items for him.

I'm sure all families are the same but I just feel like every month I'm put a fortune spending it on others, clothes for the family (change of season, baby has outgrown last summers clothes) weddings, birthdays, family live far away so flights to go over to them several times recently, i look at my wages and just see all this money going out of it and I'm running about in gym leggings with holes in. I buy all their stuff in the next sale and only just paid off the last lot. Husband does well out of this and got lovely mango sunglasses last summer but has no idea of costs of clothing but expects me just to produce new clothes if we have somewhere to go

Are you married to a child?

Father’s Day is card and token gift. DH got a box of chocs from Tesco and was perfectly happy.

My son spent 2 hours making something lovely for his Dad. His Dickhead Dad screamed in his face that he hated it and he's not 5 and should have bought him a present.

Thank fuck I divorced that twat. Solidarity OP

Agree but it was a present from both of us. Special birthday. Agreed on item and cost and when it came to purchasing I hadn't enough to cover it all so spent the voucher to make sure I had money left in my bank the rest of the month. He didn't contribute.

That's is awful. How hurtful!!

My son picked up the sarcastic comments about what a wonderful day husband has had today and cried asking why he didn't like his voucher as it was his idea when we couldn't find glasses (we decided together but think he was trying to take the heat for me which makes me even sadder) and my husband asked what I said to him to make him say that. Everything is my fault.

It's only today I've learned that people are given expensive presents for Father's Day- and worse, ask for them! He sounds like a big baby.

@fedupforever do you know what the sad thing is, my son will never do something like that again. He will always approach father's day with trepidation now scared to fuck up. And do you k ow what, I hope he doesn't get him anything next year

If his prescription changes that frequently then he needs cheaper sunglasses. If he's just a nobby poser then bin him

lol there's no prescription in them. Just standard sunglass lenses!!

So do you have separate finances? And does the childcare come out of yours rather than his or is it 50/50?

Do men ask for £100 sunglasses for a made-up event like Fathers’ Day? Surely he should count himself lucky if he got a bar of Dairy Milk from his offspring?

Joint account for bills and own accounts for wages to go in to. He works two jobs which makes his income similar to mine. I just got a pay rise so now more in line with his income over the two jobs.

Who gets expensive gifts for fathers day anyway :S surely it's just token gifts from the children ... He's being ridiculous

He's right. A homemade voucher is never likely to be redeemed. It's a pretend gift.

You buy his clothes?

If your salaries are similar surely he should be buying his own clothes?

Honestly, I think you need to reassess your share of the spending.

Thanks, OP and apologies - I just re-read and realised I somehow missed where you'd already specified this before I asked.

Why the fuck isn't he buying his own clothes? Does he contribute towards the children at all?

Why are you buying child's clothes from your account instead of the joint? The child is a joint expense.
Your account should be solely stuff just for you.
Perhaps you both need to put more into the joint account and use it for ALL child and family expenses?