Father's Day unwanted gift

[fedupforever]

Husband hinted for an expensive gift for Father's Day, new sunglasses that would cost anything from £100 upwards. I bought a few bits the kids picked for him, the usual dad bits and bobs, chocolate etc and printed a voucher for the glasses and said we will go shopping as I don't know what style you'd like and can put money towards them if you like a very expensive pair.

Straight away his face was tripping him and he said the voucher was worthless as I'd given him vouchers in the past that had not been redeemed - for a new cinema that opened but when we hire a babysitter it's been for nights out and we didn't fancy the cinema as wanted to have a meal and drinks instead or went out with friends. This was something we had discussed prior to going out and both agreed the cinema didn't feel worth it when we were paying a lot of money for a babysitter.

I wasn't happy with the comment and thought it was really rude and quite selfish. We don't have much money and I don't buy myself much, I recently spent my birthday voucher he got me on a gift for a friend as I couldn't afford to buy one otherwise. I don't have spare cash to replace the voucher.

Aibu to think this comment was out of order and to feel hurt by this?

I do think it's something that needs looked at again. I buy all the food, toiletries, cleaning, nappies etc. he contributes by paying for the holiday - although some money was taken out of the savings account for this as I feel he over committed on what he could afford. I'll be buying all the holiday clothes, sun cream etc. he will buy the odd thing at the shop when we need a top up but refused to buy Heinz tomato sauce the other day when he seen the price of it 😂

Fwiw I buy him all his clothes, toiletries, anything he needs. He doesn't buy himself anything so I feel like he's maybe huffing coz he 'needs' new glasses and I've not produced them but the last few months have been tough and I was planning on getting a few token items for him.

What?! Does he think he's a child and he needs you as his mummy to buy him what he needs?

Maybe he does 'need' sunglasses if he has sensitive eyes and his old ones have broken, but he certainly doesn't need those ones - you can get perfectly decent normal ones for £20 or less. Yes, some people prefer to spend a lot more on them if they like a particular brand for whatever reason, but those are normally people who have the available funds or are legitimately 'owed' or 'due' an expensive present from somebody else who can afford them.

Mother's Day and Fathers' Day are absolutely not about giving or getting expensive gifts - unless you can easily afford them and really want to - it's about thinking of your parent by spending time with them, breakfast (or at least a coffee) in bed, a card, a nice little token 'treat' gift that you know they like - a box of chocolates, a few cans of beer etc. They're very much occasions where the thought counts and not (despite what the retailers would have you believe) a time for expensive presents. You're thanking/remembering/repaying them for all the LOVE that they've shown you; not for all the stuff they've bought for you as a child.

F that

we made a batch of brownies and a pot of coffee and gave him some peace

sounds like a total arse expecting a gift over 100£

The bits the kids picked out for him are what really matters. Take the voucher back and spend it on yourself?

He is selfish. It is the thought that counts and if he wants £100 sunglasses then he needs to get a better job and buy them himself.

What an obnoxious ungrateful C**T! I would tell him where to stick his sunglasses! You and the kids deserve better than this!

Well you're being a martyr. Why do you buy your husband's clothes? Why in the world would you use your voucher to buy a friend's present and then sign it from both of you? Your children see this and your kids will think this man child behaviour is normal. You shouldn't put so much pressure on your children for Father's day. You need to recalibrate and give him some chocolates next year. Then he needs to buy his own clothes. If you are going round in tat while your husband is in nice things then that's a choice you've made. Your children are learning that women aren't worth shit.

I think the sentiment of Father’s Day has completely passed him by (and possibly you too). He sounds immature, asking for a pair of £100 sunglasses indeed. The presents are meant to be token gifts from the kids.

Stop it

Just stop it now

He's bloody horrible

Divorce him and he can buy his own stuff (if he has any money left)

Yep
And ignore his hints in future. He can buy his own sunglasses.

You need a complete rethink about finances. At the moment he is treated like a teenager.

and stop the home made vouchers. Theyre not appreciated. Next year he gets a mug. And dont let it be you.

He’s a big baby and has totally forgotten what the real focus should be. My husband got some Pringles from our youngest and he went on about how they were the tastiest ones he’d ever had which made my him feel like he’d given the best gift. You’re right, it’s not about the gifts. A homemade card and a fuss is everything! He’s out of order. We could afford more but there’s no need. Spending time together and having a nice day is so much more.

One of the most bizarre things I've read.

Sounds like the op is a people pleaser and by being so means she goes without!

Or she is trying to keep up a pretence of wealth to her friends.

Whatever the reason it's a very sad way to live.

His comment was very rude and he comes off pretty greedy. I get wanting a nice gift but Father's day is not about it. If anything, it's about small token gifts and handwritten notes and cards from kids, maybe a smartshow 3d video with family photos, but not expensive or fancy gifts whatsoever. Is he always like that? Does he appreciate birthday or christmas gifts or is he putting you down for their prices as well?

Um no, if my husband spoke to me like that then he would get nothing except a slap across his cheeky face.

It’s Father’s Day not his birthday - he should count himself lucky to get tacky socks and a card from the children. What did he do for you for Mother’s Day? Private jet to the Bahamas? No I thought not.