What kind of income do you think is comfortably needed for a family of 2 adults and 2 children?

[oneandmaybedone]

I’m interested to know people’s thoughts, I understand people get by in a variety of situations and it is subjective. (By ‘comfortable’ I mean, appropriate housing, two cars, afford maybe one holiday a year, no worries about putting food on the table and I don’t know- spare change lying about for the ice cream van).

Would you consider having one child if it meant you were able to work less hours, retire earlier and go on more days out/holidays? (Both UK and abroad)

I know you can’t put a price on family support, which is what is keeping us considering a second child in several years time. I always wanted a huge family as we have so much love to give but it’s balancing that with what you can manage, I think?

We both work and have decently paid jobs, probably each earn the UK average which I understand is maybe unusual for MN. It’s unlikely to be higher than this as we are both in sectors where wages stagnate, and we love what we do.

Looking objectively at our finances- what with the cost of childcare, managing on reduced income over maternity leave, housing, holidays and days out… it seems clear we would be able to provide better for one child rather than having multiple. I’m not talking private education or 14 night holidays in the Med. If we had two they would likely need to always share a room, we’d both have to work more hours whereas with one I can comfortably go back to work 4 days a week. Holidays would be few and far between if we got to go on any at all. Any savings we manage for DD would be split between her and second DC.

Some older relatives have told me I’m overthinking, finances change, and you just ‘make it work’. I think that’s quite an outdated view in 2024 - but AIBU?

Yanbu, focus all your resources on one child

Less than £40,000 is really hard work, although tax efficient.
Depends on whether it is one salary or 2, ft or pt ? How much childcare will be needed, size of mortgage, loads of factors.

I would prioritise a sibling over expensive holidays, 2nd car etc but it’s very subjective.

I don’t have expensive holidays now and we have one car but I don’t work f/t, don’t think I ever will and plan to retire early.

So much is dependent upon housing costs.

Depends where! In some parts of London, about 200k!

I would say £60 - £80k pa for a fully functioning family home and associated social lives . No real scrimping but no extravagance either

Midlands, we're two kids, two cars, household income of 58k. No worries about making ends meet, holidays are cheap Haven type/ visit family. BUT at the moment only saving £100 a month. Hardly builds up a safety net.

I was going to say £75/80k

As an adult whose siblings have been more valuable to me throughout my life than anything other than my children I would say have another child if you can afford to.

Depends where you live and if you own already/have the deposit to buy. £60k (£30k each) is adequate for a 3 bed house 2 6 year old ish cars, basic holiday etc in many parts of the U.K. but you would not be comfortable in London or more expensive cities/counties.

We are on about £50k but we only have one car and our youngest doesn't do any extra-curriculars yet as they're not yet school age. So I'd say definitely more than this for the lifestyle you're describing...maybe around the £70k mark I think would be enough.

By ‘comfortable’ I mean, appropriate housing, two cars, afford maybe one holiday a year, no worries about putting food on the table and I don’t know- spare change lying about for the ice cream van).

To meet this definition of comfortable you need at least 3 bedrooms, more if you WFH or have regular guests. We're a classic family of 4 - our house has 3 bedrooms, 2 WFH offices, 1 lounge, one large kitchen/diner/family room. We definitely fill the space - we have appropriate housing but it's not luxurious.
Two cars, holidays, kids activities etc soon add up.

Our household saalary has just hit £85k and we finally feel comfortable. 2 kids. Food shopping isn't a worry, i can book the odd unplanned trip here and there without too much thought. But i'm strict with budget for the key things so we know our fun money is fun mo ey to be spent and everything else is covered.

Big holiday each year plus an extra couple of weekends away. And money to do things for us like gigs etc

It's taken 7 years since wr had our 1st child to get to this position

Would you consider having one child if it meant you were able to work less hours, retire earlier and go on more days out/holidays? (Both UK and abroad)

Also, in answer to this, well everyone feels differently about it all. No right or wrong answer. But for us, no. I'm pregnant with our third.

Posted too soon - I was going to say in the cheap north you likely need £60k. Anywhere else £80k plus. But that hugely varies with assets etc. I have a friend whose household income is very low but they have no mortgage (paid off) and no childcare costs (family). They can afford to work part time because of other factors which you've given no idetail on.

It's impossible to put a number on as there are too many factors, but broadly speaking the lifestyle I wanted was a detached home with enough bedrooms for each child, a holiday abroad every year, to be able to run a car each, and to essentially not be having to stress about money to a great degree (not in terms of affording the necessities at least, I'm sure I will always want more!)

As it happened we took the step to have our second before securing the above lifestyle, but I was confident we'd achieve it before they started school, we did. Though lots of luck in that regard, you never know what's around the corner.

Having a second was very important to us, that said, only having a 2 bed home and rarely going on holiday would have likely have made us stop and think, id likely compromise on the career aspect you mentioned and seek to earn more rather than settling for wage limitation, but we all have different priorities.

It is all dependent on housing costs and when you bought or if you rent

South East, close to London.

For everything you've suggested (and I'm assuming a holiday abroad every year, where both children are over 2yo and therefore you pay in full), with no family support hence full paid for childcare pre-school age/one parent PT and looking after children/one parent not engaged in paid work, I'd tentatively say over 100k.

I've two children and would happily give up the extras to be able to afford them. Watching siblings grow up together is the best gift ever. Worth a hundred holidays. But I say that as being in a privileged position to be able to afford two, making minimal sacrifices (we have one car for instance, and go on holiday once every couple of years).

I have a sibling who moved to the other side of the world and we were NC before that anyway. You never know how it's going to turn out.

We're on 130 combined, no savings. It's not a comparable question imo.

Also worth looking at what benefits you'd be entitled to; free hours childcare etc. It does make a difference and the early years will be much more expensive than when they're at school purely for childcare costs. And tbh going on holiday with an under 3yo isn't much fun. Save the money until they're older.

Too many variables.
Housing cost being the biggest.

But term time holidays are expensive. Even 4 night camping in the uk can set you back £500 with food and petrol.

Yep as an only child who had to care for both of her parents alone and both died before I was 30 I would pick a sibling over holidays.

Besides holidays and days out as an only child are really boring. My parents always paid for friends to come along too as a trip to a theme park etc as a kid by yourself is pretty lame.

I think you cut your cloth. We're a family of 4 on a joint income of £135k, when we first become a family of 4 we were on a joint income of less than half that and were fine. If you want another child you'll make it work.

Watching my eldest 2 grow up was like being in a constant warzone Right from the minute DD2 was born till DD1 left home. Now they live 300 miles apart and rarely speak

Plenty manage two children on low incomes.