What kind of income do you think is comfortably needed for a family of 2 adults and 2 children?

[oneandmaybedone]

I’m interested to know people’s thoughts, I understand people get by in a variety of situations and it is subjective. (By ‘comfortable’ I mean, appropriate housing, two cars, afford maybe one holiday a year, no worries about putting food on the table and I don’t know- spare change lying about for the ice cream van).

Would you consider having one child if it meant you were able to work less hours, retire earlier and go on more days out/holidays? (Both UK and abroad)

I know you can’t put a price on family support, which is what is keeping us considering a second child in several years time. I always wanted a huge family as we have so much love to give but it’s balancing that with what you can manage, I think?

We both work and have decently paid jobs, probably each earn the UK average which I understand is maybe unusual for MN. It’s unlikely to be higher than this as we are both in sectors where wages stagnate, and we love what we do.

Looking objectively at our finances- what with the cost of childcare, managing on reduced income over maternity leave, housing, holidays and days out… it seems clear we would be able to provide better for one child rather than having multiple. I’m not talking private education or 14 night holidays in the Med. If we had two they would likely need to always share a room, we’d both have to work more hours whereas with one I can comfortably go back to work 4 days a week. Holidays would be few and far between if we got to go on any at all. Any savings we manage for DD would be split between her and second DC.

Some older relatives have told me I’m overthinking, finances change, and you just ‘make it work’. I think that’s quite an outdated view in 2024 - but AIBU?

My thoughts exactly.

Dh and I earn between us 100k. We have 1 child (13) and ddog. No mortgage so if we added mortgage costs would be about 120k. Finances weren't the reason for 1dc, we were not able to have any more.

We feel extremely lucky for the position we're in. We could absolutely have afforded another child but we wouldn't be able to have the lifestyle we have now, but it would still be good. We have 2 cars (bought outright) but not fancy (ford/ Hyundai types). We have a large 3 bed semi in a lovely area. We do have 4 abroad holidays a year plus several weekend city breaks, and at least 3 big concerts a year. We eat out at least once a week and never have to worry about bills, food, dc's expensive clubs, my beauty treatments, dh's hobby or clothes. I work PT and TTO.

Obviously times were harder when dc was in childcare, I was a mature student and we had a lot less coming in (but things now also cost more). But we still managed a holiday and eating out.

We are on roughly 68k per year. We manage fine, 3 bedroom detached house with garage in a nice street up in the hills in the countryside. Mortgage aprox 350 a month. Newish car. Used to go abroad once a year, but these days prob a lodge as Iv not been well. We are in Scotland, so a lot cheaper. No childcare as kids are 12/14. Would like to do up the house, but trying to save for that.

We are a family of six (four children including twins). Our household income is just over 100k. We have had to pay for full time childcare for all four from 9 months until starting school and that was the roughest time, things are feeling a bit more comfortable now. We don't have quite enough bedrooms but we will address that now that we've a bit more wiggle room.

The beauty of watching them grow up together is worth the skint nursery years.

If you just want one child, then great. Nothing wrong with that.

But I can't get my head around wanting another child but deciding you won't as you want more days out and holidays. They're not comparable to me.

I really think that going on holiday & being able to take your child to Legoland/Alton Towers/the zoo etc is better than having two and not being able to afford to take them anywhere. I just do. I’m not talking about lavish holidays particularly either

This is a major difference
70k a year goes a lot further when your mortgage is only £350
I was paying double that in rent 18yrs ago.

I have a 6 year age gap - mix of struggling to get pregnant but also didn’t want to have two sets of nursery fees. When my eldest went we had no help, until she was 3 when we got some free hours (plus had to wait till 5 months after she turned 3!) I didn’t earn anything my salary went on child care fees and petrol to get to work! We didn’t get any tax credits at the time :(

But we live in an expensive area - rent is high. We didn’t buy a house until the children older and had to leave the area we loved to be able to afford to.

If we moved to the Welsh village my husband comes from we could buy a lovely large house. But low available childcare and are jobs are based in London.

It’s all about choices, depends really on where you live and whether you have any family support for childcare?

My friends live comfortably on £35k where they live, my other friends £90k - both live similar lifestyles but live in different areas.

I’m afraid I don’t agree with this, my second child is my eldest child’s greatest gift and they would be lost without each other. Every day is an adventure including SO many free things, library trips, park trips, National Trust (v. Cheap) , baking, school events, watching films, playing together, scooters, the list is endless. You can get a toddler legoland pass for £50 for the year. Collect tokens from the newspaper for free days out. A free city farm. Youth hostels. But not once would I consider swapping the sibling experience they have so that my first could go on fancy holidays

We’re 90k combined. 2 children, 4 bedroom house in Yorkshire which we moved into after having child 1 as we wanted a bigger house before having number 2 (only needed 3 bedrooms but this house had the living space we wanted and was within budget). Only 1 car as husband has a work van. We have an abroad holiday each year and at least 1 weekend away with the kids (Haven type holiday) and me and the husband will have the odd night away for a gig or just to have a night alone. We don’t currently have much in savings as I’ve only returned from mat leave after baby 2 recently but we’re working on that. I feel like we’re in a financial situation where we don’t really need to think before planning a day out, meal out, etc

We had a similar conversation about having a third child, did we want to maintain our current lifestyle with 2 children or have a third but probably not be able to go on regular holidays and have the lifestyle we have. It was part of the reason we decided to stick with 2 children….we
also decided 2 was enough for us anyway 🙈

I don’t know of any free farms and how is national trust cheap? That’s such a mumsnet thing to say

After housing costs (rent/mortgage) about £2000 a month for all other bills and food is the minimum to be comfortable and not worrying.

Honestly I would have two children. I have two and having been through a pandemic where they had each other and also their being able to play together in the garden etc I think having that sibling is worth more than an extra holiday and a nicer car (we go abroad every other year)

I would never have another child if it had to lower our standard of living- I wouldn't take off my first child to accommodate another- but then I didn't yearn a second one.

If you really really want one, and you can make it work, then go for it. But don't have another child just as a companion for your first child, alot of the time is simply doesn't work out that way. And a child doesn't need a sibling- so only make those sacrifices if you and your DH really want another one.

I'd have the second child and find a way.

National trust costs £12 a month membership, which I don’t think is expensive relative to most other days out. Bristol city farm is free, Battersea Park Zoo is about £40 for a family I think, other places in SE I go to are £40 ish for a day out, so not free but not too bad (some are a lot more than this!). Sorry, my point was you don’t need to constantly pay for these days out to have a good time as a family. These can be one-off / nice days out as you can afford it but you can have a great time for free too. It’s just my opinion but for us a sibling means you have to do less entertaining as they start to entertain / play with each other (and most of the time is spent at school / clubs anyway!)

Our household income is about 75k. We have a comfortable but definitely not extravagant standard of living. We live in a 4 bed semi in Bristol.

Depends on housing costs but it’s nice to have a sibling. I sometimes regret not having a third , we didn’t cos of money but like your relatives say we’d have made it work as our income actually increased as we got older

If two salaries, £70k total. If one, around £90k I'd say.

The other way round surely ?

No, two on 70k are probably doing better than one on 90k because of tax

No, that's right. After tax, accounting for the lost child benefit they'd probably be about the same. Although presumably a 2 parent household with one salary wouldn't have childcare costs.

Oh I see what you mean. I was thinking of no child care fees and cooking from scratch etc if one is at home, while other works!

But the post was about two on 70k in total (eg one on 30k and one on 40k), not two on 70k each.

Ah, I was thinking if the childcare savings, too.