What kind of income do you think is comfortably needed for a family of 2 adults and 2 children?

[oneandmaybedone]

I’m interested to know people’s thoughts, I understand people get by in a variety of situations and it is subjective. (By ‘comfortable’ I mean, appropriate housing, two cars, afford maybe one holiday a year, no worries about putting food on the table and I don’t know- spare change lying about for the ice cream van).

Would you consider having one child if it meant you were able to work less hours, retire earlier and go on more days out/holidays? (Both UK and abroad)

I know you can’t put a price on family support, which is what is keeping us considering a second child in several years time. I always wanted a huge family as we have so much love to give but it’s balancing that with what you can manage, I think?

We both work and have decently paid jobs, probably each earn the UK average which I understand is maybe unusual for MN. It’s unlikely to be higher than this as we are both in sectors where wages stagnate, and we love what we do.

Looking objectively at our finances- what with the cost of childcare, managing on reduced income over maternity leave, housing, holidays and days out… it seems clear we would be able to provide better for one child rather than having multiple. I’m not talking private education or 14 night holidays in the Med. If we had two they would likely need to always share a room, we’d both have to work more hours whereas with one I can comfortably go back to work 4 days a week. Holidays would be few and far between if we got to go on any at all. Any savings we manage for DD would be split between her and second DC.

Some older relatives have told me I’m overthinking, finances change, and you just ‘make it work’. I think that’s quite an outdated view in 2024 - but AIBU?

I’m one of four and we’re all close. My kids are too. So theres no hard and fast rule I think

Well, there is your answer then. You don't need to justify it to anyone. Sounds like this is more about having to respond to intrusive questions than it is about how much you actually need to live comfortably with two children.

All depends on where you live, size of your mortgage and any debt.

Own your own house? No debt? Only need one car? You can support a family comfortably on a fairly average salary.

Huge mortgage? No family support? Need lots of childcare? You’ll need a lot more money.

We have about 80k household income and don’t really have much to save at the moment but we live in SE so our mortgage is over 1k a month for a three bed semi, and we have two in childcare. I work 4 days a week though so very privileged in that sense. We can’t afford big abroad holidays and we do have to watch what we spend in the supermarket but we have money for nice treats etc and a few short breaks a year.

Single income of around £4500 a month (after tax, pension and NI). No nursery fees anymore. One DD in Y2. I am comfortable without being extravagant. Have days out and don’t really think about the cost. Spend approx 5K on holidays a year. Save money. Have a decent second hand car. Can afford the bills. Could splurge if I wanted but am prioritising saving as I want the mortgage gone as soon as possible. I think you would need at least what I’m on as a household income to live the lifestyle you describe but I’m in the north and my mortgage only costs £690 a month.

National trust often do free passes in the papers / websites. We go to our local one all the time and never have to pay.

We bought one season pass to a farm which has soft play and go all the time!

I find two much easier to entertain at home than one though so we probably go out less, though of course when we do go out it’s double the cost of ice creams, soft play etc.

It all depends what you want from life, I find having two a very different lifestyle to having one. I love it, others wouldn’t!

90-100k. We are in the South East, DH earns 70 I earn 12-15 and our mortgage is around 600 a month and we struggle to go on holiday once a year. Maybe it's because of the tax he pays, but we feel really squeezed.

Family membership for the national trust is £160 a year, which is cheap. You then get free entry and parking at loads of places around the country. Take a packed lunch and it's a really cheap day out.

I want to go to Florida next year and have concluded we need a household income of around £30million to make this happen 🤔

It depends so much on your mortgage. If you take our mortgage payment, gross it up for tax/NIC, you arrive at a figure that's higher than my Mum ever earned. And that's not because we live in Mayfair, it's because the South East is expensive.

Camping in France is relatively cheap and we do it every year. Give me the Eurotunnel over air fares any day 😁

Except there's no reason your eldest wouldn't be absolutely fine without a sibling either.

I have two children and they hate each other. It's been hard work and I honestly regret having a second sometimes. I love my DS dearly but he's not been an easy child and really changed the dynamic.
You can't just presume they'll happily entertain each other.

I have this internal argument a lot. We are on a joint income of 80k, we live on the South Coast and have 1 DD. We live a lovely, comfortable life. We have 2 holidays a year, 2 cars, a 3 bed house and can afford to do nice things on the weekend. I think adding another into the mix would massively change this and I’m so hesitant. I think I may regret not having a second child one day, but we can give our DD a lovely life if she stays an only. It’s a forever battle in my head.

It's OK to only want one child.

You don't need to have a roster of reasons.

It's OK to just not want anymore.

And it's not the business or anyone other than you and your husband

DH sole earner (4 years ago) on 55k was fine - but no childcare. It would have been what you are asking for in terms of comfortable.
DH big payrise, me working. Joint income 105k. Exceedingly comfortable.
2 kids.
Living in a nice bit of the country, surrounded by some exceeding shit parts (often labeled worst place to live or most deprived). Means it's cheap!

This- you can't just think of income, but costs. Very different depending where, and cost of housing, rented or bought.

And schooling- if you decide to go the private route, you need to add 30-40k more per year.

4k

I wouldn’t have another just to give your kid a sibling. Have another if you want one. I don’t agree that kids need expensive days out/holidays to have a great childhood. I didn’t and neither do my kids. But I don’t enjoy places like Lego land so I don’t take them even though I could. We go hiking/to the beach/to friends’ houses. We play at the park and in the woods.

But if you like nice holidays and proper ‘days out’ and that’s important to you, it’s absolutely fine to prioritise that and not have a second kid.

It’s just important imo to be clear about what kids really need. They don’t need expensive days out or siblings.

They do need:

• enough food and a secure place to live
• education
• kind parents who are not themselves stressed or unhappy
• fresh air, exercise, fun and opportunities to play with other kids.

For me, the fact that you would be able to work less and spend more time with your kid is the most compelling reason not to have another. But in the long-term (once you weren’t paying for childcare for the second) would there really be a difference? Couldn’t you work 4 days with 2?

We are 55k plus child benefit.
4dcs
Rent is 1200 alone
No childcare costs though.

Holiday 1x year UK
2 cars
5 extra curricular activities between 2 of the dcs
South West
We definitely don't go without But a little extra would be nice.

Do you mind me asking what your mortgage is? I'm single with the same household income and I find it very hard. But I have a big mortgage (£1,500pm).

And then, just like that, you have a child or two with send, your partner turns out to be a total flake and buggers off, you develop an autoimmune disease and all your plans go to pot.

Having said that, even now I never regret having number two.

We have a household income of £122k and are comfortable in the SE. Fairly high mortgage, kids in state school, fairly pricey sport hobby for one of them, 2x holiday a year

I suppose this opens up the question of whether it's better for one parent to stay at home and live on one salary to save childcare costs.

I do sometimes wonder if women's lib really did us any favours in respect of fighting for women to be equal in the workplace, or if in fact we have just ended up as additional economic units, generating more profits for big business. Many two-working parent households have no better quality of life than one-working, one-home (working) household. The more we earn the more we spend - childcare, more expensive holidays/ cars/ stuff.

I wish posters on these threads would quote net figures. Gross household income doesn't mean much as not everyone pays the same tax etc. Take home pay is a much easier figure to compare.

I’m really sorry to hear that, that sounds so hard. My eldest has challenging behaviour, possibly undiagnosed ADHD, my youngest has been easier by a mile, they are very different. We are very lucky in that they get on really well despite their differences but they do have to be quite closely supervised together and it’s definitely not all roses, they argue a lot / fall out as well as have good times, which is really stressful.