What kind of income do you think is comfortably needed for a family of 2 adults and 2 children?

[oneandmaybedone]

I’m interested to know people’s thoughts, I understand people get by in a variety of situations and it is subjective. (By ‘comfortable’ I mean, appropriate housing, two cars, afford maybe one holiday a year, no worries about putting food on the table and I don’t know- spare change lying about for the ice cream van).

Would you consider having one child if it meant you were able to work less hours, retire earlier and go on more days out/holidays? (Both UK and abroad)

I know you can’t put a price on family support, which is what is keeping us considering a second child in several years time. I always wanted a huge family as we have so much love to give but it’s balancing that with what you can manage, I think?

We both work and have decently paid jobs, probably each earn the UK average which I understand is maybe unusual for MN. It’s unlikely to be higher than this as we are both in sectors where wages stagnate, and we love what we do.

Looking objectively at our finances- what with the cost of childcare, managing on reduced income over maternity leave, housing, holidays and days out… it seems clear we would be able to provide better for one child rather than having multiple. I’m not talking private education or 14 night holidays in the Med. If we had two they would likely need to always share a room, we’d both have to work more hours whereas with one I can comfortably go back to work 4 days a week. Holidays would be few and far between if we got to go on any at all. Any savings we manage for DD would be split between her and second DC.

Some older relatives have told me I’m overthinking, finances change, and you just ‘make it work’. I think that’s quite an outdated view in 2024 - but AIBU?

I’m one of three siblings. As adults none of us are in contact.
So having another child just for a sibling seems pointless to me.

There is no right or wrong to this but personally I’m with your relatives- have another baby and muddle through. The joy another child will bring to your life will far outweigh the joy of going on holidays and buying a new car.

fiancé and I are life planning about this. We are 29 and 33, and earn £65k + £91k so household income or £156k but when I tell you it feels like we are living month to month. Sure we don’t watch the pennies, eat out and live in Zone 2 London but we haven’t had a holiday in years and have a 1 bed flat. Any houses (not flats) near us start at £700k which we could afford on our salaries but the second I go on mar leave we would struggle. Not to mention the cost of the baby. Neither of our families are close so we would have to pay for child care out of pocket. Realistically I want to be on another £20 k each before we start trying so we can bring home £200 total. Also we aren’t in Mayfair or Chelsea - we are in a place that had a stabbing the other day and people don’t use their phones in the parks coz of thieves on bikes before anyone moans about where we live.

We bring in about £4500 between us and we do alright, we spend a lot of our money on crap really and have areas where we could trim if necessary.

We pretty much fit the brief you are after, we don't live a life of luxury but we don't worry about paying the bills.

No massive childcare since I worked evenings and weekends until #2 was almost in school then moved to school hours. Flip side of that though is a low salary.

We haven't really had many holidays, first "proper" one was Butlins last year and this year we are going overseas but I think we will have to alternate for financial reasons.

When planning #2 we didn't even sit down and go through finance, we figured we had enough money so we just went with it knowing we would get by and you do. If we really wanted a 3rd we would make it work somehow even if it meant having less luxuries because I think the urge to have another is often stronger than the desire for a holiday abroad.

I wouldn't recommend having another if you were struggling to afford the essentials but if you are comfortable and you actively want another then go for it.

Plenty manage with 2 children and far lower income. It depends on what you spend your money on. Some hobbies suck up lots of money, others don't. Do you drink, smoke, use restaurants of takeaways. Amount spent on holidays varies massively. Food shopping again varies.

We earn approximately £60k a year between us, have a car each (we live semi rurally with no public transport at sensible times of day), and have 3 older DCs.

5 years ago we were quietly comfortable, now we barely make the money last from payday to payday. I'm not saying we are in poverty - there is still a small savings pot & credit cards should we need them - but in a time where the cost of living has increased hugely & our wages stagnated, I think families would struggle with earning less.

We have a mortgage of just under £600 per month, which would never buy our house now unless you had a massive deposit to put down.

We're on 85k with a 1 and 3 year old and it is tight, mostly due to paying almost 2k a month for three days a week childcare for them both. The cost of living increase ate up all our remaining disposable income. I'm hoping it will ease when they're in school. For now holidays are a few days away locally, clothes are second hand where we can or else on sale, takeaways instead of meals out and as many free activities at we can find. For me, it is absolutely with the sacrifice for our second, she is wonderful and adores her big sister.

We’re on £110k in the south east with 2 DCs and are comfortable as you describe, decent house, 2 cars, a holiday each year and some weekends away, money spare for some treats and days out, and savings building up for both DCs. We have one Dc at nursery and a mortgage. I wouldn’t want to have had a second DC if we were on less and it would have compromised us giving DC1 a decent life, experiences and savings for her. If we had family help so could reduce nursery costs or lived in a cheaper area we could manage on less.

I would say 60-70k. Our mortgage is £800 but due to go up to £1,100. The before school years are a killer with nursery fees. I’m glad we bought a house before we had kids as it would be impossible to save up for a deposit whilst paying rent and nursery fees. We have one UK holiday per year, two old cars, swimming lessons, ice cream, etc. Unfortunately, I’ve had to take a massive cut to my income this year due to DS having SEN. I’m hoping once he is settled at school I can go back to my former career. Income is about £50k atm and it’s a struggle especially with the mortgage going up £300!

£100k. We are on about 80k between us and I can't see how we could afford one never mind 2.

We're in Yorkshire and have a combined income of around 135k. We're more than comfortable as housing is so cheap up here compared to down south where I lived before. We could probably cope on 60k and pay the mortgage etc with plenty of spare cash for treats and holidays.

We are on about 75K between us (NE so stretches further) - 1 child atm, 2 cars, house, dog. The nursery fees are the massive killer and some months we barely scrap by and have to go into savings. Other months are okay.

If we didn't have full time nursery fees and had family help instead etc everything would be completely fine money wise and we would have loads spare

If you can't manage without struggling on those wages maybe don't have a child.

It totally depends on you outgoings mortgage, child care, council tax etc. I'd say to live comfortably you need at least £1.5K a month left after all bills & food are paid.

I pay my parents mortgage currently - this would have to end when i got pregnant

Have a look at monthly mortgage repayments on a house in London, then you'll understand.

Some people budget well.

Some people allow money to slip away.

Regardless of income it depends on how you are with money 💰

This, absolutely. I can’t imagine my 2 not having each other, of course there are arguments but watching them grow up together brings us SO much joy (no holidays abroad or new cars here, gym
membership, etc though SAHM so able to do lots with them at home for free)

£150k.
Mortgage is £60k on a four bed semi.
2 kids in private school
1 car
1 UK holiday and one abroad 3 weeks/a month per year, maybe a week in October half term too.

fiancé and I are life planning about this. We are 29 and 33, and earn £65k + £91k so household income or £156k but when I tell you it feels like we are living month to month. Sure we don’t watch the pennies, eat out and live in Zone 2 London but we haven’t had a holiday in years and have a 1 bed flat. Any houses (not flats) near us start at £700k which we could afford on our salaries but the second I go on mar leave we would struggle. Not to mention the cost of the baby. Neither of our families are close so we would have to pay for child care out of pocket. Realistically I want to be on another £20 k each before we start trying so we can bring home £200 total. Also we aren’t in Mayfair or Chelsea - we are in a place that had a stabbing the other day and people don’t use their phones in the parks coz of thieves on bikes before anyone moans about where we live.

I don’t really understand why you haven’t had a holiday in years on that income? Or any savings?

When it cones to childcare, and uni if applicable l, spacing is probably as relevant as income.

We currently earn around 120k between us. I would say we were comfortable...but that means different things to different people.

House & cars probably biggest costs and same whether 1 or 2 children.
Working part time/retiring etc not really impacted.
But if you have two in nursery at same time (in our case before any free hours came in) that's a massive childcare bill...but it's only for a couple of years. Giving up work would have been more financially viable short term instead of paying out childcare, but not long term.

Days out, clubs, clothes, school trips etc are obviously more expensive with two but it doesn't feel like the biggest issue tbh.

Depends on many things as others have said! I'm surprised how high some of the estimates are! We live in a different European country and have two kids, mortgaged three bedroom house, two cars, a few short haul holidays etc, and earn SIGNIFICANTLY less. We also send our two children to private school here. We earn 28k each. Helps that things like nursery when they were littler were subsidised for everyone regardless of income. A months nursery cost just under 200euro.

£80k comfortable with 2 kids in nursery 2-3 days a week. Midlands.

With decent 3 bed house, 2 cars, and a campervan for us, 2 holidays abroad a year - one long haul 2.5 weeks but not luxury, one week/10 days Europe in said campervan, plus cheap camping weekends. No eating out except on abroad hols (we cook when camping), but the odd takeaway. Picnics on days out. No coffees etc purchased out.

Second most expensive city in the south.
3 bed house, 2 cars, 2 DC, 1 UK holiday a year, saving approx 1k/month = 52k household income. Fairly frugal, simple pleasures and all that, but definitely no hardship.

It massively depends what your preferences are.

Personally I like to go on fancy holidays, and so if I had 10k to spend on going away for the year I'd rather do one fancy 2 weeks in the sun rather than weekends away every couple of months and three UK holidays a year. It adds up to the same.

Same with cars; are you content with a couple of small run arounds or do you want a brand new one every couple of years?

Do you want to be able to eat out once a week and not balk at the cost for 4? Or are you happy sticking to a £450 food budget for the month and not spending that extra £100-150 per week on dinner out?

Again with houses; a 3 bed detached will set you back at least 600k where we are, and our mortgage payments are almost 2k a month. Nursery fees are around £100 a day per child. You move further from London and you can halve these costs, perhaps not exactly, but you get my drift.

So many are saying "you can raise two children on much less" and of course you can, but that's not what OP is asking. She wants to have the lifestyle she currently enjoys and is asking how much she needs to earn to enable that to happen with more than one child.