The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

I absolutely agree, anyone fighting cancer is brave, heroic and fantastic. I just feel very sad that this poor woman is being dragged over the coals because of what the press has written. I’m sure she doesn’t expect to be patted on the back or told she’s above or better than anyone else!

Nobody at all has dragged her over the coals as far as I can see. Pointing out someone has lots of help, and money tends to make you far more comfortable when you're sick, is not criticism. Pointing out that sick people lie down, and that Kate could lie down all day long if she wanted to, is not criticism. I readily admit I have help too and can on occasion lie supine, though not with anyone to dress or feed me ;)

Wow. Thanking my lucky stars that l was diagnosed so quickly - your experience sounds really stressful. Even now, some twenty years on from your experience l’m advised that this is one of the most difficult cancers to diagnose because it’s so diffuse on scans. I’ve had mammogram, 3D Mammogram, MRI and CT and they still can’t give an exact size - only that it’s somewhere between 5 and 10cm. Mine doesn’t respond to chemo, so started hormone treatment a few weeks ago - and here was me thinking I’d got away with a fairly uneventful menopause !! Very encouraging to know you’re OK though - thank you for sharing.

I'm sorry OP that you've seen such poor service from your NHS treatment. I'm being treated for breast cancer on the NHS at the moment too & my treatment has been quick, caring & competent from the moment I went to the GP with a lump.

I've had to juggle a bit of admin as had an operation at a different hospital from my chemo & immuno - the fact that electronic records seem to be stuck in their building of origin - almost as if the Internet hasn't yet been invented) but other than that I'm glad to say that I haven't been able to fault the treatment I've received.

I know that doesn't make the life / treatment any easier but I felt the need to say that you don't have to be a princess to get excellent treatment. Sadly you do probably need to near the right hospital, which isn't right either.

Correct. I he went down the alternate therapy route and paid a load of charlatans a shit load of money for their snake oil. By the time he came to his senses it was too late.

These are the results of 14 Tory years not the Royals. There are lots of rich, privileged people who get cancer and often they will not need to go through what you have but that doesn't mean they haven't suffered an equally hideous ordeal. I'm sorry you have had a rotten time. Anyone experiencing a need for hospital care for physical illness or mental health issues recognises the additional horror of the lack of supportive functioning services.

Sending you very best wishes and lots of positive vibes !!

Whatever love, get a life! I have better things to do than argue with you about petty points!

? It's a wider discussion that's not about you at all, lol.

Those ‘petty points’ are the main thrust of the thread.

Anyone experiencing a need for hospital care for physical illness or mental health issues recognises the additional horror of the lack of supportive functioning services.

Yes. And that being the case, it’s all the more galling when press and palace get together to paint a portrait of ‘the bravest woman in Britain’ when the woman in question is rich and privileged. The implication that Kate has handled cancer better than anyone else, when she has access to the best treatments and faces none of the challenges ordinary people struggle with when they are faced with a cancer diagnosis, is insulting.

Unless she makes an appearance at Wimbledon, I doubt we will see her in public again until late Autumn at the earliest.

Do most cancer sufferers ever get the bones of a year off for treatment and recovery? On full pay with limitless family and other supports?

The comparisons with non Royals/Wealthy are totally bizarre and smack of veneration.

As with all who are ill, I wish her and you all well. Agree that the process rather than the treatment is different if you have time and money to spare.

I had more than 12 months off on full pay then when I felt better went back to work part time but on full pay for a three months before going back full time . I was in France…… and wasn’t given special treatment, it’s the same for everyone there.

I feel for everyone who gets cancer, rich or poor.

I'd probably have had an easier time during treatment if I was in a position to outsource cleaning, cooking and school runs. I wanted to do fun things with the kids too, but often found that the energy for "fun" had been used up on the essentials.

The NHS is patchy as hell when it comes to cancer.

Imagine chasing a doctor you've been referred to for months before he sees you, only for him to finally see you and find that you have Stage 4 cancer with only months left to live? Happened to a lovely person I met at chemo who is now gone.

I had my last chemo infusion cancelled due to the side effects, I was told it was okay, they'd bring my surgery forward. They didn't, so my surgery happened outside the "sweet spot", giving the cancer cells more chance to recover and damaging my long term prognosis.

I was also railroaded into a less invasive surgery combined with radiation instead of more invasive surgery without radiation, without anyone bothering to tell me what radiation entailed until after the surgery.

So I didn't get radiation, and now after almost a year of me pushing, I'm going to have the more invasive surgery prophylactically on the NHS. Mustn't waste the NHS's time, they can waste yours though!

This is fucking appalling. So gobsmacked i dont know where to start. @CammyChameleon Sorry dont know what to say

@Cocococoa hope you are doing well now. When I read the first few lines of your post I admit that my initial thought was "Aha, one of those with a super job and lots of support that doesn't normally apply to the majority huh!" And I see you are in France.

That is how it should be and I am pleased you were well looked after. I often who or where the NHS benchmarks itself against. It obviously isn't the French health system anyway.

I ‘ve often been told by French oncologists that British oncologists are very good and they are well respected . It’s just the welfare service that isn’t up to scratch..Then again between NI and pension contributions I pay about 20/25 percent of gross salary so we do pay for it. It’s totally worth it though in my opinion ,if nothing else but for peace of mind .

@JenniferBooth thank you.

I have mixed feelings about my treatment as I am (as far as anyone can tell) not showing signs of disease - "cured", if you will, albeit with a 30-40% chance of local reoccurrence (can't recall the stats about distant reoccurrence and not currently in the mood to torture myself, but they're not fun either and unlike the local stats, they can't be changed).

To be clear, I could have had the radiation. I turned it down. The radiation oncologist was the first doctor I met who was happy to help crunch the numbers, and was very straight with me about the radiation side effects that he saw in his patients. If I'd seen him before my surgery, I'd have been able to advocate for myself sooner. He said to me "sometimes I wonder what I'm doing [by giving people radiation]".

The (non-radiation) doctors that I saw before my surgery pooh-poohed my concerns regarding radiation. I was told that the "new" radiation doesn't give you burns (it does) and one doctor said to me "Well have you taken paracetamol before? That has side effects too".

If you ever get cancer treatment on the NHS, my advice is Google everything. They tell you not to, but Google is how I found out that a mastectomy without radiation was a viable alternative to a lumpectomy with radiation for my cancer/stage. Don't take for granted that you will be offered options, even if they're capable of providing them.

Cancer patients are the 'royalty' of the NHS in terms of funding & care compared with mere mortals of mental health, elderly care & learning disabilities

They're really not. My OH has had cancer for six years and he's had nothing but crap "care" and the run around from his oncology department. Lost scans (after taking months waiting), treatments cancelled at last minute, passed from pillar to post just for the simple things like blood tests, turning up for appointments with consultant and waiting 2-3 hours only to be told he's gone or didn't even arrive, so wasted everyone's time. Crowded waiting rooms without ventilation (before before and after covid) despite them being cancer patients and immunonsuppressed. Turning up for pre-arranged appointments to collect drugs to find they've not even been prescribed, or they've lost them. Turning up for infusions as per agreed appointments only for them not to have been prescribed, so wasted appointment for both patient and nurses/dept. It's been a sodding fiasco from start to finish. Trouble is all the people involved (and there are lots of them, he has a full page of names and direct phone numbers) just pass the buck and fob him off. If he wasn't so switched on and on top of things, he'd be dead by now as he's having to fight for every single appointment/treatment as nothing is happening automatically/scheduled as it should be. People really need to do lots of research themselves, take notes, question anything that looks/sound wrong, and keep chasing them. It really shouldn't be like that when it's something as serious as cancer!

sorry for what you have been through. It's awful

Must be nice to get to an age where you need elderly care before your body craps out and tries to kill you. Maybe the people who need elderly care are the royalty of the genetic lottery?

Last time i checked neither royalty or "royalty" were getting buses to and from chemo! While being told by the NHS cultists that "the NHS is not a taxi service"

Oh yes
I had forgotten the challenge of trying to get the prescribed drugs as they discharged with 48 hours worth on a Friday and it was really obscure.

but also being prescribed thousands of pounds worth that were never used as they changed their mind and they couldn’t be returned.

and lost scans. And having to have blood tests twice as the hospitals 10 miles apart cant access each others results.

and now a 3 hour wait for a blood test!