The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

@bfgf but if you didn’t know that came from an article why would you think it did come from an article and what that article said

The poster I was replying to mentioned the newspaper article in all their posts, and claims OP never referenced the article – that's clearly untrue.

Pain is pain, the scars on your body the prodding and poking, sickness etc etc. you have no idea that she lays down all day and isn’t being hands on with her children! When she does go out she is scrutinised by thousands if not millions of people world wide, that also must be hell in its own way. She is not the one saying anything, this is all the press and then people start blaming her and comparing their lives. She just needs leaving alone like we all do when we’re ill.

She might not lay down all day but she will have the CHOICE whether or not to lie down all day because of the help she will have. Money gives you choices

Er ... if she is hands on with the children, that's by choice. If she is not lying down, that's her choice. This is a choice most people don't have.
If she has a bad day, she's got plenty of people to step in and do the stuff that normal mums would have to find strength to do.
I know she is not responsible for the article, and I do wish her well, but to pretend her life is even in the slightest way like anyone else's, cancer or not, is plainly ridiculous.
Yes, millions are looking at her when she does make an appearance, but she has been able to lock herself away for the past six months, again in a way no other mum would be able to do.

Great minds 😉

The words "lesser mortals" in quotes doesn't say anything about an article. If someone was unaware of the article, a couple of words in quotes doesn't direct them.

Also it is the Palace PR that has tried to sell the narrative of the Wales' ' just an ordinary mum/dad just like you', in the first place, which is laughable and insulting in equal measure. This is just the latest of the 'They can't work because they are doing proper parenting/habds on parents/doing the school run live in an ordinary 4 bedroom house with no live in staff/exhausted from home schooling/William is looking after the kids'. They feed the press with the narrative, even though it is tone deaf and obviously untrue.

All your posts have mentioned the article, and you literally told OP not to bother reading stuff she doesn't like (i.e. the article), so you were clearly aware OP's post were in response to said article. Your backtracking isn't convincing at all.

As PP have said, it's the choice isn't it? I'm a pretty hands-on person when I feel like it, but I count myself really lucky to have the means and flexibility to be somewhat hands off (not 100% hands off like a royal of course, including even being dressed and being fed which palace staff can take care of) on bad days.

I'm not about to start self-flagellating, and I don't expect Kate to either. But I also don't expect to be patted on the back and called a SELFLESS HERO when I decide to get up and do the school run once in a blue moon, when others similarly ill could be slaving away at work and in life everyday.

I don't think anyone is blaming Kate at all, only disagreeing with ridiculous articles claiming Kate is above other lesser mortals. It's not about Kate, but about slavish viewpoints like that which are derogatory (calling them lesser) towards all those who manage to cope with REAL daily life whilst ill. No doubt Kate is very brave and heroic, but no more so than them.

Agree with this. Although why we are supposed to be happy to be footing the bill for W&C pretending to be just like us, I have no idea.
The posts about William having to stay off work to look after the children when Kate was first diagnosed were laughable. He may choose to do that, but it's not in any way comparable to a 'normal' worker having to carry on regardless.
I will caveat this by saying of course I wish the PoW well, but really, some of these posts ...

No-one is blaming her. Money gives you choice. And when you’re ill it gives you choices about what you can and can’t manage - most people have no choice other than to get on with it. So let’s not pretend that it’s the same for everyone because it isn’t. Calling Kate the bravest woman in Britain and insinuating that ‘lesser mortals’ don’t handle cancer as well as she has is insulting to all those dealing with cancer treatment.

In the context we’re discussing here, yes it did. It afforded the same choices as Kate has. Money may not make a difference to the outcome but it certainly eases the cancer journey.

@Rosscameasdoody Hope you are doing as ok as is possible

Out of interest, wasn't it because he strongly rejected treatment for a long time after his diagnosis, in favour of some woo woo treatment? By the time he agreed to medical treatment, the cancer had spread incurably.

He told his biographer he regretted ignoring the doctors. His fate mirrors those who also face/faced delayed treatment (eg NHS waiting list in underfunded areas, or in other countries those without access to healthcare), only his was by choice and not circumstance. His money probably could've saved him.

Do you not think that rather than us ‘concentrating on the wrong thing’, we’re having the ‘wrong thing’ rammed down our throats ?

Cancer is Cancer, whoever you are. But, it’s a different process, dealing with Cancer, as a “VIP” than as it is with the rest of us.

They have the best of healthcare, money no object, and they don’t have to wrestle with our dysfunctional NHS.

It’s what it is. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you. Just a waiting game now to see if the tumour shrinks enough to make a difference to the type of surgery. It was lobular breast cancer, which is very difficult to detect on a mammogram, so the tumour, although only early stage, was still quite large on diagnosis.

It hasn’t spread to any lymph nodes but the scariest part was that because it was more than 5cm on discovery, they had to do a full body CT scan to make sure it hadn’t spread through the bloodstream - thankfully it was clear. It’s quite scary because this type of cancer doesn’t present as a lump - it’s more a spider web formation through the tissues, and without the routine mammogram l wouldn’t have noticed anything was amiss until it was likely too late to do much about it. Just very grateful that the radiographer knew her stuff and that investigation and treatment has been prompt.

@Rosscameasdoody yes i remember reading about lobular breast cancer in Woman and Home and how it forms like a spider web I had no idea before then that it could happen this way.

The fact is that in many different ways, wealth makes things easier.

It's not even mainly, imo, the quality of treatment. It's things like having enough money to get your washing done. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer recently and is having some treatments that leave him very sore and tired. He lives in a tiny flat - a room really, up a long flight of stairs, and is on a very small stipend. Normally he carries his laundry three blocks to the laundromat. So he really can't manage now at all.

Of course he's also in his 60s now, with a bad knee, and these problems are coming for him one way or another, cancer or otherwise.

I'm more middle class, and have a pension coming when I retire, as I age and get sick I'm likely to be better off. And someone very wealthy even more so.

It's easy to look at someone like the PoW and say it's a breeze, but a person like my friend could very easily look at those of us in the middle classes and say the same thing.

Lobular cancers can lie just under the skin and not be detected. The consultant drew my attention to an area of ‘orange peel’ skin and said this was one of the manifestations, but again, unless you know that, you wouldn’t necessarily think much of it. It’s so important to keep up with routine mammograms- mine literally saved my life.

Yes, I am mid-chemo. I am so conscious of my wig. She has the beat stylists and prosthetic people. Thats the only thing i felt envious of. It is a hideous disease and treatment. No one escapes that trauma because they are wealthy however I take your point about financially ita ao much easier if you're wealthy

Think i will grit my teeth and go through with mammogram when my invite comes

wishing you all the best x

Hi lobular friend! I had it when I was a young mum. Mine was a smooth lump that was deemed to be a fibroadenoma( even with mammo and ultrasound) I thank my lucky stars for the gynecologist who made me check it again 6 months later. A biopsy came back as nothing to worry about but ‘best to take out as it could become something to worry about in a few years.’ So had the lumpectomy and it turned out to be cancerous. So panic ( for us) chemo etc etc. A year of treatment and then back to normal life.I’m still here twenty odd years later to tell the tale ( touch wood :) )