The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

Yes, when I heard this I thought “How can someone be given chemotherapy if there are no cancer cells?” I have no medical training at all. Later I heard a cancer specialist interviewed on the radio who explained that there is no such thing as “preventative chemo”
Some uninformed people make the silliest comments!

OP your post is heart breaking 💔. I am so sorry you have had that experience. I hope your treatments work and your side effects fade as soon as possible.

But she IS having it easier 🤷‍♀️

Sorry diddl. I should have made it clearer I was responding to the ridiculous post you also responded to. I think you and I are in agreement.

That's nothing to do with the princess of Wales.

Of course not, but the poster was making a good point.

My sil has stage 3 breast cancer, she ended up going private on my brothers private health insurance as the wait to see a consultant was too long, diagnosed in Mid March, surgery April & is now in the middle of chemo. Had she gone NHS she probably wouldn't have even had her surgery yet as it was a 6 week wait just for the initial appointment to see a consultant without all the scans, lymph node dye test etc.

I am not saying it is , it’s certainly not her fault and i have great sympathy for her.
I’m referring to the ‘it is was it is’ when talking about ‘poor’ people’s quality of life during cancer treatment.

I can't believe anyone has the gall to criticise you; youve been through so much. You have every right to feel as you do about the press reporting. Wishing you much better health soon.

Maybe practically, but certainly not physically or emotionally 🤷‍♀️

YANBU op

of course she will have the worries about her own health and the impact on her children and these are incredibly painful to deal with

but all the other stresses that can and often do impact recovery are taken away when you have money behind you and this will absolutely be the case for Kate

but we have to pretend that being wealthy and privileged doesn’t make life easier 🙄 and to remember our place when it’s questioned

Of course she will be having it easier physically what utter nonsense

she isn’t having to get up and make breakfast, get the children to school, hold on the line to the GP for medication, get herself to appointments the list goes on

Agreed. Far too nonchalant, given that 'what it is' is simply not good enough.

One positive thing may come of the stark divide represented by the Windsors, coupled with the completely OTT media coverage that's crowned by the contemptuous, prejudicial attitudes of Allison Pearson. It's started the right conversation. This is happening elsewhere than Mumsnet, too. The more people are aware of those divides; the more they are questioning the fact that cancer treatment is a lottery and outcomes are better for those not living in poverty, the more awareness seeps into public consciousness about the mismanagement, underfunding, and general mess that is the NHS, then the more the mainstream parties will come under pressure to address these issues.

Public services in this country are at their all-time worst, and our track record for cancer diagnosis and prognosis in the UK is a disgrace for a developed nation. (Higher tax won't resolve these problems, either - at least not on its own).

Bringing these matters to public consciousness: the stoking of an understandable anger at the state of things and a desire to see change, is a small step. But it's a step.

Thank you, OP, for starting this thread, and godspeed to you

And best wishes to you op 💐 we all deserve good healthcare

This is the article OP was referring to btw.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/columnists/2024/06/15/our-fair-lady-princess-of-wales-trooping-the-colour/

I agree it was sporting of her (not that I care but I guess some old people or people with no lives or whatever might draw courage from her).

But she can, and probably does, do nothing most of the time. She doesn't have to lift a finger on a daily basis when she doesn't feel like it. I think what the ordinary non-wealthy person puts up with everyday while having cancer is likely equal to or harder than making a public appearance for a few hours for 1 day.

Unless it's terminal, very few people with cancer just lounge/rest in bed all day long with normal life on pause. They still have many duties and obligations, whether family or financial, or even just survival (cooking, cleaning) if alone.

I know it's not a competition but the author of the article has made an explicit comparison between Kate and the average person who apparently possesses less fortitude than Kate...

Physically probably applies too! Have you ever tried doing the school run on chemo? It's hell. Pure hell.

It makes a MASSIVE difference when you can lie down all day long! Kate has nannies to sort her kids out, cleaners, cooks, drivers, and even daily life admin tasks (even calls, etc can take a great deal out of you when you're ill) done for her. She has maids on hand whom I'm sure will even dress and undress her if required.

I think it's ok to acknowledge wealthy people have it easier. We all would just lie down whenever we wanted to if we could, too.

You have every right to be cross because your experience has been horrendous.

But the fact remains that the drugs they put in her are just as evil as the drugs they put in us. She may well sit in a more comfy chair in a nicer decorated room, she may be given tea in a china cup, but if chemo is going to make her ill it's going to make her ill.

She has lots of support at home but she's also a mum to young children and the whole family has a spotlight on them. I'm very grateful there was no spotlight on me during chemo.

You know that PoWales didn't write the newspaper headline, right?

I'm sorry for your struggles, but it's not a race to the bottom, and criticizing someone who has an easier life doesn't in any way make yours better. Just don't read stuff that you don't like.

It seems to me that she's criticising the message of the article that by virtue of being a royal Kate has superior moral mettle compared to others (and slavish views in that ilk), not Kate. You'd do well to take your own advice: just don't read stuff you don't like, including legitimate commentary in response to publicly published articles.

What ???? Of course it will make a difference. There won’t be any delays to any part of her treatment. She will have access to treatments not available on the NHS, and she won’t have the stress of worrying about how to cope with daily life and finances that most of us ordinary mortals with cancer have to deal with - and that in itself has an influence as stress makes the body more hospitable to cancer, promoting the growth and spread of some forms of the disease. And if her hair is anything to go by in the most recent photos, she’s possibly had access to the newer treatments that prevent chemo causing the death of hair follicles.

There has been no spotlight on the PoW for the past six months. She can decide when and if she 'works' in a way most other people can't. Ditto William.

I’m in the North West and this was not my experience. I went for a routine mammogram on 23 March and had a call back letter just over a week later with an appointment for further tests within a few days.

After a 3D mammogram and ultrasound, the consultant radiologist advised on the day that from experience she knew she was looking at lobular breast cancer, and did a biopsy. She referred me on to a consultant and I had an appointment with him ten later for the biopsy results. Cancer was confirmed, and MRI and CT scans followed within a couple of weeks. By mid May - around 6-7 weeks after the initial diagnosis the consultant had staged and sized the cancer and I was started on endocrine treatment to try to shrink the tumour so that I have a chance of lumpectomy rather than mastectomy. The plan is to do further scans in three months and then plan appropriate surgery based on the results.

I’ve been surprised by the experience of many MN contributors who report similar delays to your own experience, and I can only conclude that it’s down to the NHS ‘postcode lottery’ and it probably helps that the hospital I attend is one of the UK centres of excellence.

Nope, OP doesn't mention or reference the newspaper article, so anyone who wasn't aware of it would read this as a direct criticism of PoW.

Having already navigated several years of cancer treatment, and awaiting test results for a whole new shebang (yay!) I do feel quite entitled to comment on both the article and OP's post.

I skimmed the article, and my take was that I was hugely grateful not to have been on parade when undergoing treatment or recovery; the eyes of friends and strangers were bad enough, let alone the world's media and social media. She may have the best care and want for nothing, but the immense scrutiny that she's under would certainly break "lesser mortals", whether they were undergoing treatment for a potentially life threatening condition or not. I am probably a lesser mortal, because I certainly won't be parading my exhausted body around if I'm unlucky enough to have to face this again.

@DotAndCarryOne2 my DF didn’t lose his hair and had about 6 different types of chemo, and that was on the NHS. Other posters have said they didn’t lose her hair.

Would everyone be happier if she was bald. Would everyone be happier if she died so we could see that privilege didn’t stop the cancer

@Katypp did you miss all the media speculation in the last 6 months. She tried to keep out of the spotlight but the media and ghouls wouldn’t let it rest. Interestingly there were lots of conspiracy theories about her being dead before we knew she had cancer snd now people are saying she’s having an easy time now we know she has cancer.

@usernamealreadytaken OP literally referenced the article verbatim, quote marks included.

I know people who didn't have a choice to keep working day in and out while very ill, some in jobs with a very demanding public, so I think a few hours in public really isn't quite comparable to the daily grind.

Of course I know it's not a race to the bottom, but since we've somehow agreed there's a hierarchy of moral character... I'm a much lesser mortal compared to those people I know who manage daily life and work while very ill. I don't think I'm a lesser mortal than Kate, no, based on what I've been through. You can be a lesser mortal than all of the above, by your own admission!

Again I know it's reductive but if we're comparing everyone's apparent capacity for endurance like the article's author wants to, then that's the summary.