The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

Isn’t this a bit like the VAT on private school. We are spending our time looking at/criticising/bashing those with money and trying to bring down the services they use to the level of NHS/state education. Not focussing on bringing up standards, accessibility etc in NHS and state schools.

I don't think that's accurate.

POW isn't being criticised because she has access to world class care and support. The media's portrayal of the situation is being criticised, particularly the apparently deeply unpleasant Allison Pearson, as evidenced by her own article and lack of apology when confronted by thousands of upset members of the public.

Regarding the VAT on private schools, the great majority of the coverage I have read has been people whose children are at private schools complaining that the policy is unfair. People then disagree with them.

Why is certainly true is that most forms of media are deliberately divisive and manipulative and encourage different groups to fight each other rather than focusing on far, far more important issues as you describe.

I’m sure thats good advice but if you’ve ever had chemo you must surely know that it saps your energy especially after a few sessions. Getting on to the benefits people, councillor and hospital isn’t as easy as that. It usually involves alot of time on the phone( op mentions 40 calls to DWP) / email etc and thats hard when you’re on chemo.

But @rainingsnoring you just have to see in this thread how many posters are talking about how much easier or not Kate (or other wealthy people have it) not looking at the issues in the NHS and other services and what should be done about it so no-one has to suffer all the things listed by the OP. We are all concentrating on the wrong thing

@SammyScrounge some of your advice regarding access to help might be true but as @Cocococoa says it is not easy to access all this help when you are exhausted etc.

It is also ridiculous that you really believe that "She isn't having an easier time than you." In terms of the practicalities (buying food, cooking, being driven to appointments, waiting for appointments etc.) of course she is!

It smacks of telling the OP that she just isn't doing cancer well enough/there's some kind of failure on her part.

I honestly think some of the pushback here is because people are scared of what would happen if they get cancer and want to believe that it will all be ok, their treatment will be great. It's naive. Access to treatment, quality of treatment and outcomes are hugely variable across the country.

For those of us actually currently experiencing cancer treatment on the NHS (and even privately), sometimes it is great, sometimes not, sometimes a mixed experience (this is mine, some wonderful care, some terrible)... but in nearly every case it will not be the experience that the POW is having.

Being effectively told to "do cancer better" is offensive, upsetting and even more isolating when we might be really struggling.

Yes that's true and those posters are correct that she does have it much easier.
It's not what you were suggesting in your other post though:
'We are spending our time looking at/criticising/bashing those with money and trying to bring down the services they use to the level of NHS/state education'

This thread has arisen because of a divisive and abhorrent article and you are correct that this entirely distracts from the more vital things in society. The public are very much brainwashed by the media and often believe all sorts of nonsense when they see it in front of them repeatedly.

The politicans know what needs to be done about it. They're just not going to do it because they know it will affect their electoral popularity.

This is the inevitable end result of revering supposed 'British' institutions like the NHS (not least the monarchy), rather than addressing seriously the way in which they are funded and run.

Our roads are falling to bits. The rail system is running to capacity on just a standard day. Far from making a fuss about taxing private education, kids with SEN are in many LEAs unable to fund or even access diagnostics, because funding across the board has been sliced to its bare bones. I don't notice a similar outcry about this issue as we're now seeing in response to the prospect of taxing private education. Prioritities.

It makes no odds who you vote for. Unless the electorate and the main UK parties are prepared to face the unpaletable truth of the situation - that the NHS is unsustainable in its current form - then these problems will continue.

It works both ways though. The same media were also demonising her for not telling them every last detail about why she was AWOL, speculating awful things and even resurrecting stories about a supposed affair between her husband and best friend. Some public are supportive whilst others seem to hold her single handedly responsible for the entire country's economical and public health crisis (as this thread proves). I wouldn't will this on somebody any more than I'd will them to have an ECG in the corridor tbh. Both are humiliating, dehumanising and completely unfair.

Yep And ive seen plenty of posts on here saying "the NHS is not a taxi service" so this attitude has always been prevelent

Would they count throwing up as a reason. Or is the OP expected to hold it in and choke on her own vomit until the bus reaches a stop. Because much like shitting it cant happen to a timetable

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/11/02/nhs-closed-cancer-centres-incompetence-karol-sikora/

https://www.northumberlandgazette.co.uk/health/governments-depressing-response-to-petition-to-reopen-mothballed-cancer-centre-in-northumberland-4405103

I really think that if the OP had not assumed that everyone had read the Telegraph article and had added a link, the responses would have been very different. Taken without context it sounds like misery one upmanship, which is a shame as I don't think it was her intent.

Exactly @fliptopbin

The same point that I made yesterday.

I managed to work out that there had been an article written so im skeptical that others couldnt

Indeed. It’s in OP’s third post.

@SammyScrounge They don’t call NHS treatment a lottery for no reason. My local hospital is unable to assist with transport at all. All they could suggest was a taxi which would cost approx £50 return. I do live in a reasonably sized town but our hospital was closed a number of years ago and we have to travel to the next town on a circuitous traffic unfriendly route. There is a local voluntary group but it is very much hit or miss whether anyone will be available to get you there and have the time to wait to take you home or to return much later after treatment. I need minor cardiac treatment which I’m told is urgent to prevent a heart attack or stroke and I’m unable to walk more than a few feet so I’ve neglected to try to schedule the treatment for over 2 years. The voluntary sector is just unable to cope with the gaps in the system.

So sorry you had to go through this. Can you not ask your doctor or consultant to arrange hospital transport. Not sure what area you are in but my friends mum gets hospital transport to and from her appointments especially when she has chemotherapy.
There is a passenger assistant as well as the driver. The passenger assistant knocks on her door helps her on the mini bus and they pick up other patients as well and takes them to their appointments. They even have wheelchairs at hospital if they are not well enough to walk to the bus after the appointment.
Try and see if you can get hospital transport which would be a door to door service and you won't have to struggle on the bus. Wishing you all the best my lovely.

You are definitely struggling with more things than she is. However, you are both women facing a potentially fatal illness. Concentrate on how things can improve for you, rather than spend your energy comparing yourself to others. There are always people better and worse off than ourselves. Good luck with your treatment.

She is in a better position than most people who don't have cancer, let alone those who do.

I always think of Linda McCartney and George Harrison. All the money in the world, access to the best of everything but made no difference to their lives cut short.

She is in a better position than most people who don't have cancer, let alone those who do.

Not right now she isn't!