The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

Kate, on the other hand, is undergoing "preventative" treatment for cancer. So, from what I understand, and I could be wrong, it's not the same as cancer treatment.

No. No. No.

As I wrote on another PoW thread -

In March, I finished six months of chemo. It was 'preventative'. However, in truth, there is no such thing as preventative chemo. Sure, some are easier, some don't make you lose your hair, but all are intrusive and lengthy. Chemo is chemo is chemo.

For most, surgery will remove the cancer. However, it is possible that during the time the tumour has been growing, it could have metastasised. This means it could have shed a cell, possibly more. (Remember, a single cancel cell are minuscule, they cannot be seen or show up on a scan). Preventative chemo is given in the hope of stopping/killing any stray cancer cells that shed (so haven't been removed during surgery) and have spread through the body, are laying dormant, and could reawaken at some point in the future.

Preventative chemo is given to stop the cancer metastasising elsewhere.'

And to add, chemo is foul. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Treatment wise, PoW most certainly isn't getting it easier than anyone else undergoing chemotherapy, be it curative, palliative or preventative.

Cancer’s shit for everyone but it’s shitter for the average person who has financial survival to consider than it is for the super rich.
Money doesn’t remove shit. It makes it more bearable though.
DH would love a taxi to and fro from UCH Macmillan. PIP doesn’t quite stretch to that however!

Yes I think that’s fair.

The real takeaway of this thread is the NHS needs a reboot. Some heartbreaking stories here and I wish comfort and strength to those affected. Everyone deserves the same treatment regardless of the fact their challenges will be different.

I think this post captures something important: that of a lack of respect.

OP, am sorry you're having a tough time but it's not a bloody competition. Am not sure what you're reading, but not not once during the past eleven months since my cancer diagnosis and treatment has anyone ever made me feel like a lesser mortal. Nor do I feel in any way that PoW is doing cancer better than me.

While united in cancer, regrettably, everyone will have different experiences, not only of their cancer, treatment and prognosis, but also day-to-day life. Am really sorry you're having such a tough time, that's shit, it really should be so much better for you. Am surprised that Macmillan haven't helped you, they're wonderful with financial assistance, not only directly from them, but also with PIP - you'll qualify for that and at the higher rate too which will cover cabs to/from hospital, food and a cleaner. As for steroids, say no, I did. You can say no to things.

If you haven't contacted Macmillan, do it ASAP. There is help out there for you.

But Kate isn’t asking to be held up as an example either.

I think this says it all.

Your post was perfectly clear, and I agree about being supportive to the OP. What she described in her first post was an ordeal that no one who is desperately ill, should even have to go through. Leaving the POW out of this, for a moment, and reading about other people's journeys on here, has shown me, that there is a postcode lottery when it comes to treatment, in the NHS. That is a problem within itself.

I only read the OP, and found it so bitter and whiny I didn't bother to read any more.

This was 10 years ago and I know from one of my cancer groups that things have got considerably worse for waiting times.
I have a chronic health condition at the moment caused by my treatment that can be improved with surgery. My gp put through an urgent referral 18 months ago which was refused and downgraded to routine. I'm still waiting for that appointment. The surgery would make my quality of life so much better.
Anyway I'm going private. I've just put the 7.5k on a credit card and am booked to have surgery in a few weeks. Instead of using my pip to pay for my carer 3 mornings per week to help me shower, my husband is going to give it a go and we'll use that saved money to pay the credit card

Very well put.

@TheOccupier
"I only read the OP, and found it so bitter and whiny I didn't bother to read any more."

What a vile comment.

🙁

Sorry you had to read that OP.

Ok that’s just tasteless.

firstly, I have been that young child whos mum died of cancer, so I know all about that, and my cousin has young children and she has cancer, and I have a dependent child at uni.

And do you know what. I had critical illness cover. But they didn't pay out.

It's mean spirited to say I wouldn't swap my health for money? Don't be so silly.

It's not about who has it toughest. But it also shouldn't be a chance to take a pop at a mother with 3 young children just because she's rich/a royal.

Just saying.

Oh my goodness that is so awful. I’m so sorry this happened to you. 9 months waiting for a CT scan. Flipping heck. Best wishes to you

I dont even feel particularly upset about her having better treatment than me. I feel upset at being called a "lesser mortal" in the press, due to apparently not being such a magnificent cancer patient

I work for the NHS. I'm downright terrified of the state of the NHS. I just realise that villifying and bullying another young cancer sufferer who has no influence over the state of the NHS and of who's struggles we know nothing is seriously lacking in both sense and class

Bitter and whiny- FFS

no one is "having a pop" at her - I am upset at being publicly called a "lesser mortal" for not doing whatever it is that she is doing to apparently be the bravest woman in the country.

Yes our NHS is broken and people are suffering and dying for lack of medical treatment. You absolutely are doing the right thing and I wish you all the very best with your surgery.

Life is not fair. People are richer, people are poorer. Cancer or no cancer. Though I am sorry about your experience.

If that’s the media then you should be angry with them and the nhs not her . That’s probably why she has kept out of the public eye.

Jesus. That this thread even exists is just shit. Either way you slice it cancer is cancer.

She’s a mum of 3 young kids and also has the added burden of the public watching and commenting on her every move. Maybe she has a charmed life in some ways but this is not a moment to play who’s life is worse than who’s.

Disgusting. Just go and crawl back under your stone.