The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

The OP is not angry with her.

Leaving the POW aside ( i wish her the very best) It shocks me that in an affluent country people should not be on full salary while they are having cancer treatments( or other life threatening illnesses ) and have to get the bus to chemo sessions then have to wait hours to get though to benefits offices.

“Bitter and whiny”

There are some absolutely awful people on this thread.

The OP hasn’t had a go about Catherine, neither have I, neither have most people, but we do reserve the right to be seriously pissed off at the great divide in treatment of rich and poor.

We also reserve the right to be pissed off hearing how brave she is. We are all brave. Cancer and chemo are bloody terrifying, I have a huge amount of anxiety from my experience nearly 9 years ago.
Going on a balcony doesn’t mean she “does cancer better” in the same way as doing the school run and pretending to my children that I felt fine didn’t mean I “did cancer better” than Susan down the road!

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that OP, but why don't you unleash your fury on the main cause of your problems - your NHS (which is apparently "the envy of the world").

yes, I am angry with the media, that is who I am angry with. For calling me and thousands of others like me "lesser mortals" and not coping as well as this person being "called the bravest woman in the country". I have nothing against the princess of Wales, but I am not lesser than her, and I am not managing worse than her, and I am not less brave than she is

I really really hope that that isnt where you work

This 100%

Sorry for what you’re going through OP, it’s obviously appalling and your suffering sounds immense.

I’d just like to say however that in spite of the obvious advantages that being a member of royalty brings, I would not swap places with Kate for all the money in the world.

She will always be a prisoner in the world she has chosen out of her love for William. She will never know the joy of anonymity and going for days out with her children without the worry that some crazy person will be trying to kidnap or hurt one of them. She can’t do anything whatsoever without it being made public, no shopping trips, holidays or meals out with her family like the rest of us. She lives her entire with life in a goldfish bowl with zero freedom.

Having to face constant hate and trolling from every direction plus the constant, endless media attention must be almost unbearable, so illness aside, she has my total sympathy.

I have had cancer but I would never think this way about anyone else being diagnosed with cancer and undergoing treatment.

Yes all the royal family have extremely privileged lives but have to live constantly in the public eye and have the threat of harm to their family every single day. The way Kate was treated by the media was disgusting before she had to announce her illness. The bottom line is she is a young mum having to tell her kids she has cancer. I had to do it and it was the worst thing I have ever had to do. Thankfully I had successful treatment and it has not returned - I truly hope the same for Kate.

Who has bullied the POW I have read a post about the struggles she has gone through with cancer. It's a fact the POW is not going to go through any of what the op has to go through. As a health care professional don't you think the op feels like shit already without bringing to her attention her sense and class in the pecking order. I bet the POW would show more empathy towards the op than most of the posters on this thread.

I bet thats one of the NHS workers who dont think family members do enough and that they should risk their jobs to care for elderly relatives 24/7

As it happens, I don’t spend much time worrying about what would happen to me in an nhs hospital. I’m very much aware that I would, in all likelihood, be very unwell under the NHS because my GP declined routine screening for a cancer I now have, based on my young age.

I don’t worry about “what ifs” like that anymore and I’m not being flippant when I say that. It’s very bad for my mental health to dwell the outcome if I think about what could have happened. In all likelihood, dead. Not this year. But probably in less than 5 years.

However, I am conscious of how lucky I am to have been able to afford to side step the NHS and get my cancer diagnosed and treated elsewhere.

I feel very badly for the OP and the treatment she has had to endure and the criticism she has received for highlighting the media in portraying the POW as some super human, above lesser mortals.

How am I overthinking this? Posters are being extremely unpleasant to the OP for highlighting how unfair it is.

I don’t envy the POW one bit for the situation she is in - and I’m sure (well, I’d like to think) she would not enjoy being portrayed as superhuman for only doing what she’s been told to do by the crack team of private doctors and support specialists she undoubtedly has.

Anyone who suggests that having money doesn’t make dealing with a cancer diagnosis easier is a delusional lunatic in my opinion.

I find the media fawning of her so distasteful. I feel for her as I do anyone with cancer yet she has none of the 'extra' challenges my dad has faced, nor my friend who was much younger than her and left 3 very young children behind. She had all the worry of leaving 3 young children behind and as a regular person had all the concern about housework, cooking meals and lack of money to worry about whilst she was having treatment. She didn't have anyone but her dh or close friends to help. The Princess of Wales experience or that of any rich person is simply not the same.

The experiences you have described are so similar to that of my dad it's upsetting. To say that these things don't have an impact on a person's treatment or even stress levels as they go through treatment is not just out of touch but frankly absurd!

I wish you well op. x

Did you read the OP?

To me it shows just generally the inequity we have in this country which is worse than ever. And the fact that the govt don’t want people to get any type of benefits at all and make it as hard as possible to claim.

She is being persistently criticised and made a target of people's dissatisfaction with the state of our healthcare system despite having no influence over it at a time when she is presumably at her most terrified and vulnerable. I would most definitely class this as bullying.

The OP is being bullied on this thread. Plenty of people on Twitter are saying the same thing

With all the sympathy in the world for all cancer sufferers, I do agree with this depiction of Kate’s life.

She is not being criticised. The issue is the media’s portrayal of her.
The only person being ‘bullied’ and subjected to some extremely unpleasant comments is the OP

No. The only person who has been bullied on this thread is the OP. On the other hand the first statement the OP made was of goodwill to the PoW.

Most of the things that have caused the OP to have a bad experience are little to do with the NHS. They are to do with her personal circumstances:

She is on benefits,
She has no savings,
She has no transport,
She lives alone and doesn't have much support from friends or family,
She sounds like she lives in a deprived area with high crime rates,

If your life is difficult before cancer then you can expect it to be more difficult afterwards. The NHS will treat your illness but they can't wave a wand and give you the tools to make everything better.

Ah yes… because of course the real victim here is the NHS🤨

Getting a diagnosis before your terminal.

But op your right I don't begrudge HRH. It's just a shame you and her can't get the best level of care. Or even a shot a beating it because you was fobbed off until its spread everywhere at age 28.

I'm so sorry for all of you who have experienced the reality of cancer as an ordinary person. It's rubbish and I agree the fawning over HRHs cancers I ridiculous.

Yes they've faced the shock and treatment and mortality issues but add on top the financial practical and healthcare failures and they would crumble. It needs to be said. We shouldn't suffer in silence and pretend their life is anyth8ng like as deprived

But on the other hand, we’ll never be the subject of fevered speculation on the internet with people posting bizarre alternative theories to explain our disappearance from public life. We’ll never have to read cruel speculation about our marriages or listen to spiteful tittle tattle about the supposed affairs our husbands are having with various members of the aristocracy. And we’ll never have the eyes and judgement of the world upon us when we do finally appear public,when it’s the very last thing we feel like doing. Having and being treated for cancer is shit for everyone but in different ways. Having said that, I’m so sorry that you are having such a bad experience OP and truly do wish you well for the future.

What sort of fool are you? You read the OP and came to this conclusion? Most of what the OP describes would be the same for the majority of people in this country. Hardworking people who have no choice but to rely on benefits. A lot of times due to ill health made worse by the state of care from our NHS. Sorry OP for these crass comments.