The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

Is that global wealth?

To most in the world, the service you received is viewed as for the rich.

You’re forgetting that she’ll have worries about security and the safety of her family. They have to have bodyguards 24/7. Xmas Day 2021 a man with a loaded crossbow was found in the grounds of Windsor Castle who was there to assassinate QEII. Most people would rather deal with their own cleaning/cooking/childcare than have to worry about that kind of shit.

The one the OP goes to, obviously. This is the reality that some people refuse to accept. Things can be BAD out there!

No it doesn’t control everything, but it gives you choices and that makes things easier ime.
you wrote that some things may be harder…such as?

No it’s not a competition……But she is having it easier ….obviously

You’re right. This thread is becoming more and more disgusting.

Anyone spitting vitriol against the OP for not actually understanding the point the OP is making is showing themselves up for the uneducated and mean-spirited fools they are.

I am so sorry OP. That sounds so bloody hard. Sending you strength and love.

i’m aware that she has safety concerns that other don’t have, but she would have been completely aware of the implications of marrying into the royal family and this is tempered by all the things she doesn’t have to worry about: education of her children, careers for her children, healthcare, job security,
paying the mortgage, cost of living crisis…

Exactly- the PofW has not been spotted waiting at a bus stop in the rain puking and/or feeling unwell after her chemo. I’m sure her kids haven’t missed a meal because she was too sick to cook and/shop. She hasn’t had to call up for appointments and then have them cancelled. The list goes on.

She absolutely will be having it magnitudes easier. That is the point of the thread.

My DH has lost his kidneys to cancer, his thyroid and now he has a tumour in his brain. His treatment has been appalling and we have had to fight tooth and nail to get the surgeries that have saved his life. He would have dies in 2018 if the NHS had had their way. Kate will have had everything thrown at her and the kitchen sink.

It also makes it far more likely that you will get prompt diagnosis and treatment. In the case of the Royals, money no object treatment. That is not her fault, she is very lucky. But as with many things to do with the Royals, they attract and, in many cases encourage sycophancy of the levels of that Alison Pearson article, where whatever minimal thing they do used as an example to show us 'mere mortals' how to behave.

Well, having money to pay for private treatment when you have cancer can make a HUGE difference. The timeframe for an NHS MRI scan appointment (for assessing a tumour post chemo and making a decision on the next course of cancer treatment) where I live is 4 weeks currently. If you pay for the scan privately it is 2 weeks.

Ordinary people are also at risk from crime though, but they don't have professionals working to keep them safe like the royals do.

@Fluffypuppy1 I will swap?

My DH cancer care (just pre-covid). This response is not about private care for a member of the royal family but about the NHS

Hours spent in A&E lying on the floor because they discharged with infection several times and needed to be readmitted. It was a yo-yo for 3 weeks. He was blue lighted in once- left in A&E, I called the ward 2 hours later as he stopped texting and sounded rough- and he hadn't arrived in the ward- they walked down to A&E and found him collapsed on the floor.

Told would be in for 14 days and discharged after 3 with 20 minutes notice (left sitting in the reception until I could get there- 1 hour drive). Back in 48 hours later with an infection.

Having to care for other patients with dementia whilst recovering from surgery yourself. (nurses- can you just ....)

No food delivered sometimes all day. Really common when being readmitted.

Stuff went missing (but was surrounded by dementia patients)

Nurses asking if you can do all personal care for your DH. I assume if the answer was no then there would have been no personal hygiene arrangements at all

No help from any cancer charity ( I no longer give to MacMillan as they didn't offer any help at all). Finally found a lovely man on a 1 person helpline who was great (it was a very unusual cancer)

Having to pay £14 a day to park at a point at which you have a reduced income (self employed)

Watching other patients die in front of you (twice)

Being booked for appointments at 2 different hospitals at the same time. Being booked 4.5 hours by public transport from home- when I called up they changed it to the 1 that is five minutes walk away- no idea what the 1st appointment came but I imagine some people just went.

The inefficiency of the system. Once received 6 letters on the same day- making and cancelling the same appointment. Turned up to appointments to find out that they have been cancelled but not notified including because the consultant had gone on holiday (whole clinic of patients waiting that time). Clinics cancelled/held up because they couldn't open the room/find a nurse/ get the machine working etc etc

Fair. Would the OP have had the absolute best doctors in the field treating her, and the top consultants there to deal with any worries etc, whenever the need arose, day, or night? I highly doubt it. The level of care given, will not even compare. The OP is not wrong to feel upset about that fact.

Yes, she’s having it easier.

She has servants and the best medical treatment.

Her cancer was picked up during some form of exploratory surgery.

She hasn’t been ignored for months on end by GP’s who refuse to perform tests because they will cost too much money.

She doesn’t have to worry about losing her job or making the decision of which bill to pay and which ones will have to wait.

She can afford to spend time with her children. She doesn’t have to worry about a roof over her head or how she will afford to buy food.

I’m sorry for your experience but she has three young children and is in the public eye when she chooses to be. That’s very challenging.

there , fixed it for you.

@sixtyandsomething your experience is horrific, and I can only wish you well.

YANBU and I'm really sorry you are dealing with this awful disease. I agree completely that there is no comparison to the care us ordinary people receive and that which our royalty and very wealthy have. Cancer doesn't discriminate but receiving timely, quality medical treatment and care has an impact on outcomes. Likewise eating good nutritional food, protecting your immune system, not stressing about bills. I wish you all the best in your fight xxx

And the eyes of the world are upon her every time she steps out of doors.

Any mis-step and she will be pounced on, torn to shreds, criticised unmercifully . . . the state of her marriage, the behaviour of her children - all are public property. Not a moment's privacy, or a moment's rest. She can't even be ill in peace.

No - she hasn't get the same problems that you or I might have, but she has others - and has them in full view the world.

As Goodafternoon says - it isn't a competition.

Edit for spelling

I too found Macmillan to be a waste of time.

I don't know how you can read the long list of all the hideous things the OP is having to deal with and not have massive empathy for them, or appreciate that their life compared to the POW is very very different.

The POW won't have to sit on a bus feeling like shite, or having to call up DWP to deal with their benefits. She'll be resting, not having to do the housework, washing, cleaning or the general drudgery of life.

OK T
This is so so wrong.

I have cancer too and feel your pain.

Cancer diagnosis and treatment is awful and difficult at any time and very best wishes to Kate and her family.

However, as a professional working in oncology, I do see the struggles that ‘normal’ people increasingly have and the catastrophic impact on incomes and jobs etc. Dealing with HMRC, DWP and even the NHS has been increasingly difficult, despite our best efforts to support. So whilst the cancer itself has the same impact, I suspect that she actually has it a lot easier. Her life will be far removed from many of the struggles my patients have.

she will be pounced on, torn to shreds, criticised unmercifully

she'll hardly be subjected to having to read the Daily Fail or doom scroll through Twitter. She'll be completely immune to what's going on out in the big wide world, so saying she'll witness being torn to shreds for whatever misdemeanour is a complete fallacy.

I actually like the Royal Family, but let's not delude ourselves that they don't have an extremely privileged existence that most of the 67M people in the UK will never ever get to experience, especially as regards health care.