The difference between cancer life as a royal and as a "lesser mortal"

[sixtyandsomething]

not to derail other threads..

I have nothing against the Princess of Wales, I am sure she is a lovely person and I wish her well. however, let's not pretend she is facing the same struggles as the rest of us.

I bet you £10 she hasn't had to deal with any of these! (feel free to add your own)

-40+ calls to DWP, often being left on hold for 2 hours or more
-many months delay in benefits being processed, leaving you without any income at all
-DWP advising you to "find a food bank"
-struggle up the hill on crutches to get a bus to chemo
-appointments delayed and cancelled, blood tests lost and repeated, regular system "crashes" leaving medical staff with no access to your notes.
-never seeing the same medical professionals twice.
-consultant appointments cancelled when you have already travelled several hours to the hospital
-telephone appointments you have to sit and wait by the phone for, for the whole day
-worry on crammed full bus when you are CEV
-getting off bus because it is too full
-getting of bus because you are vomiting
-sitting on the pavement for 3-4 hours after chemo in the dark and rain, because you are CEV and don't want to get back on a crammed bus in the rush hour
-commuters swearing at you because you move too slowly
-commuter kicking you out of the way because you move to slowly, and doing it with an air of indignation, like they feel seriously injured by having to touch something so disgusting with their foot
-minimum 18 hour wait in A and E before being admitted with infection - once it was 28 hours
-further many hour wait in ER before being admitted to wards.
-spending night on chair in corridor, after being admitted to a ward
-being asked to vacate chair in corridor so doctor can perform ECG on patient who is currently standing up with nowhere to sit
-being warned by hospital staff to sleep in your glasses so they are not stolen
-having to buy a constant stream of new clothes, and having to go to charity shops - on steroids? go up two sizes, no chemo? go down 3- surgery? get front opening everything, in a range of sizes.
-not being able have a clean the house, wash up, open the window even, without calling a friend to come and help.
-council refusing to empty your bins because you are not capable of moving them to the right place at the right time
-giving away your pets because you can't take care of them, or afford them
-being told the waiting list to see a physiotherapist is around a year

I could go on

I am so grateful for the treatment I have had, and I hope the Princess of Wales does well and recovers, but the two situations are not the same, even slightly, even if the disease is.

but.. they do?

Aside from the royals, being rich is not an insult, many earned every single penny and deserve their wealth.

It doesn't change that having money makes everything easier.

OP isnt tearing down young cancer patients. And how do you think people in jobs like supermarket and care work can afford critical illness cover

The NHS decline started much earlier. My FIL suffered horrendously when he had cancer in 2007-2009. He was repeatedly lied to by the consultants and specialist cancer nurses. Waiting list times were fudged. His essential and urgent operation was cancelled at very short notice several times (usually on the day itself). I was aghast as we were led to believe that NHS cancer treatment was excellent - it wasn't, it was absolute crap. And yes, turning up at a hospital miles away in the next town for consultant appointments for him not to bother turning up - being sat for a couple of hours in the waiting room and then glibly told, "sorry, he's not coming today". Utterly ridiculous.

Right - but some face it with dignity being afforded them while others - like the op- has hers taken away. As the op rightly points out the PoW will never have to get off a bus to vomit.

Most of us know that money does not buy happiness but it does buy a quality of life that can lighten the load, especially in the face of illness. It can sooth a brow to know that your children have a future and will be well cared for.

There will be a whole team in place whose only job is to care for her - the best of food, massage, physios, trainers, instructors, therapists, hairdressers, beauty therapists, child minders etc.

This CRAZY elevation of PoW’s struggle into sainthood when it is so harrowing for the majority due to all the things the op listed is unseemly in my opinion.

She is not responsible for it but I do think the various PR offices of the palaces should rein it in a little. There could be a considerable backlash for it.

Wtf sort of hospital tells you to sleep in your glasses in case they are stolen

I imagine everyone feels for Catherine, she is going through a horrible frightening time.

However her experience is a million plus miles away from that of your average cancer sufferer in the UK. To suggest otherwise is ridiculous. The Royal family are fantastically rich, have an army of staff and access to the very best of everything, including world class healthcare.

The modern Royal family are plausible enough. It is weird though that people continue to fawn over them. They are not really special people. Their descendents were really not nice at all.

Their work is a bit different also. Again looks handy in terms of supporting charities etc. But they don't need to do it, the motivation there is to hang on to their privilege.

Cancer is a bitch. Love and thoughts to all those who are suffering.

Sorry their ancestors were not nice people ... meant to say

Op, you have been through such a horrible time.

You're right that people with money can afford the best care that we should all be able to have, it would make an horrible diagnosis easier to cope with if you had all the help and support they have. I wish you well for the future.

Seriously? This is your takeaway from the experiences the OP has described? I think I would feel 'small and bitter' myself (not saying the OP is either) if I had gone through half of that. She is fully entitled to 'complain' about it and it is your post which is in poor taste.

I have an issue but around HG (severe morning sickness) and the treatment she must have got vs someone like me. It makes me so angry so I completely get you OP. It’s jealously that the nhs is absolutely awful with HG and she had three pregnancies and could probably have fluids whenever she wanted very quickly not sat in a&e for hours vomiting / wetting herself and eventually having to TFMR to save her life as the doctors where awful at early treatment / waiting till her body starting shutting down with potential heart / liver issues.

Very nasty response.

I took out critical illness never imagining for a minute I’d ever actually cash it in, never mind having to do it in my thirties. I wasn’t a high earner and many times I was on the verge of cancelling it but thankfully I never did.

@TheOccupier have you read what OP has had to endure? And your observation is that OP is behaving in poor taste?

I hear you. Cancer now affects 1 in 2 people and everybody has different experiences and worries. Having money and just being able to take Time off from work as the roof over your head is guaranteed meaning you can focus on your treatment and recovering without having to worry how to put electricity on the meter.

do you have any support network that can help you? Can you speak to the hospital who may have contacts at charities that can at least give you a lift home after treatment?

people will hate on you as obviously the Princess is worried about her children and leaving them at such a young age if the treatment doesn’t work. But I do think once she is out of the woods, she will work tirelessly with cancer research and support charities to ensure that people are supported.

I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I’d certainly come and give you a lift home after chemo, if you’re in the south west.

Thing is, comparing yourself to others won’t get you anywhere. If you were in Ukraine, you wouldn’t be getting any treatment. There’s always someone worse off. Try not to dwell on it.

This thread is becoming more and more disgusting. Anyone spitting vitriol against a young mother with no political influence for having the audicity to have a life-threatening illness is showing themselves up for the uneducated and mean-spirited fools they are tbh. No wonder the current government are getting away with systematically dismantling the NHS when people are this clueless and nasty

So sorry you’ve had a shockingly bad experience and you’ve clearly suffered.

You are correct to make comparisons. Of course Kate won’t be suffering like you are - money helps everything. You have extra worries and hardship that she won’t even be aware of.

It’s not about begrudgery or not acknowledging the worries of a young mum.

It’s about the fact that it’s totally unfair that there’s such a huge difference between the rich and the rest of us when it comes to health.

Some smug comments here. I’ve had cancer twice. I had health insurance as well as savings. There are so many things not covered by the insurance, consultant appointments, scans, X-rays, as well as excess etc.

I no longer have savings and I no longer have a job.

It’s shit OP and I can only hope you recover well and regain your health and strength.

They used to say ‘your health is your wealth’ But its very hard to preserve your health without wealth.

There are so many variables with cancer that you can't compare individual experiences and say the richer person had it easier.

What if the richer person spent the week after chemo vomiting and unable to get out of bed. What if the richer person was admitted to hospital with neutropenic sepsis? But because they have money, they have it easier than the less wealthy person who may have an easier time with their treatment? It's nonsense to say because you have money you must have an easier time.

I'm sorry this was your experience, but this isn't the experience of everyone - even those that aren't rich.

again, you are missing the point.

No one is wishing illness on anyone, but you can't compare someone with a nanny and a team of helpers, a driver, unlimited help,
and someone else having to find some cash to buy food for the kids, some magic solution for childcare, having to take the bus because they can't afford the car park

Of course money is making everything easier.

But clearly some things will be easier.
my dd was admitted to hospital on Boxing Day and there has been appointment after appointment followed by waiting for results, more tests, no communication, lost results etc until we reached the point that she needed to see another consultant but 60 people were ahead of her in the queue.
we paid to see the consultant (no private health insurance) and had the report the same evening with a plan for follow up tests etc.
We could afford to pay and my DD’s mental health is considerably better because we could pay. She’s still ill, but the anxiety is less and this is solely down to being ‘rich’ enough to pay for treatment. Not recognising that money can make things easier in a health situation is naive.

No I'm not missing the point. I've had cancer and I know the journey isn't only about money. You're right that you can't compare someone with a nanny etc with someone who doesn't have that help. But the point you're missing is that there are other factors at play. Money doesn't buy you an easy journey. It doesn't eliminate the complications a person can face. Someone with no money might not have any complications at all, they might not face life-threatening complications - money doesn't get rid of this.

If you're poor and have an uncomplicated journey, is your journey harder than someone who was at death's door multiple times due to their treatment?

Come on

If only wealth was evenly distributed and the public services were adequately funded we wouldn’t be having this debate. Access to care is not equal. People can’t even access an NHS dentist. Yet if they had the money there are private dentists on every high street. If I could afford private health care I would pay for it. But I can’t, not when my energy bills and my mortgage have doubled.

of course the royal family are privileged. They get superb treatment at all times. I can’t say I do whenever I access public sector services.

Yes, some things might be easier. But some things may also be harder. Money doesn't control everything in someone's journey.