to expect some old timers of MN to be twirling & scuttling around still

[wizzofwotz]

Haven't been here for probably 15+ years. Went absent, never dipped back in . But today something made me think of the MN support, the laughs, life's highs & lows shared when insomnia kicked after my little DDs were tucked up in bed.

DDs are grown and flown the nest. On reflection it was time well spent. Even the cliquey and other shitty bits. Hope you all keep twirling and scuttling around. If you're new keep with it, it will all pan out.

I actually met a group of Vipers in person, in a pub in Victoria a few years back, probably autumn 2018? Not sure anyone does meet ups anymore though.

Also formed a WhatsApp group off the back of a thread and did meet one of the women on there in real life too.

I've been here since I was 14 though so something of an outlier, 16 years on.

14 you must of found some of it useful. Probably a good place for any age to find parenting or family advice if you can wade through the online chaos. Good for you.

Well I started on the teen boards (probably to get an idea of what was the going thing to be allowed or not allowed to do at that age by other parents!) - then digressed into pregnancy and early babyhood once I was pregnant with my first DC.

That's actually amazing! I might have saved myself some painful mistakes with men if I had discovered MN as a teenager! 🙌

I remember the Christmas gifts and I think that's when it changed because some people started to come in just so that they could complain they had no money and hopefully get presents.

That's so true.

I only contributed twice.

One, the poster I'd been matched with posted a curt message on the thread saying where were her children's gifts (I'd been matched just with the Mumsnetter not the children)

Second one was Tiktok which I was more than pleased to do.

I do know someone in real life though who has 4 privately educated children, doesn't work, husband owns his own company. She started posting those begging "on the bones of me arse" threads one year, claiming husband had walked out, she had no money, going to be homeless, scrabbling down the sofa for 2p to buy a block of lard etc. Mumsnet paid for her Christmas and it was all a scam. She's still on here and hasn't namechanged, and I just swerve her now.

I have been here for over 20 years, with periodic name changes. Got me through the horrific baby and toddler stage.

Lately, it's all become a bit po-faced and serious. Half the threads are by trolls or MRAs, the other half are about social anxiety or the school gate mums being in a "clicky click".

I was glad to see Cod starting a thread about afternoon tea some time ago, but it quickly became dull as everyone started boring on about ableism and homophobia, totally missing the spirit of the thread.

God,I must have been here at least 15 years,I've still never started a thread!.There used to be a much more caring atmosphere here,now (sometimes) the 2nd or 3rd post can be really nasty and questioning,I fear if IAMTHEZOMBIE was here now,she would be labelled a troll within 2 minutes,this place has given me some wonderful advice over the years but I don't really get involved now.

On the back of this thread, I did some trawling of old threads from the early years of me being here - so 2007/8. What was really sad, though, was the number of posters who are no longer with us. So many of them.

The influx of new posters changed things from very early on: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/22604-so-how-many-new-members-have-we-had-since-the
But in some ways forums, especially forums for women, used to be a rare thing. And it was easier to find your tribe - the holiday recommendations were great. I like the city v village analogy.

I still lurk, but rarely post given the way posts get jumped on these days.

True BIWI.

So many positives on here too, some people who have made RL friendships.

Those MNer in the abyss of chat rooms everywhere, who've left, or lurking or whatever, I like to think they're still twirling & scuttling around, keeping busy, mostly content. But that's me, I'm not blinkered to RL 'cause it's not a bed of roses. Just hopeful. Trying to be a half glass full kind of person as I get older.

Will NC before posting elsewhere. Lovely to catch, but now I'm OOO till I decide to post anything else.

I name changed when I came back on ( used to be TnOg) I lurk on here and no longer contribute to threads beyond mundane stuff like, favourite brand of trainers.
I found MN back in the day a hive of great info and help. Definitely helped me navigate through motherhood at the time.

Hello, just brill. Tis me :) so glad to see you, loving the new name.

I think of Zombie sometimes and of those other lovely MNers who are no longer with us, or who lost children. Even if they’ve only been words on a screen to me, they’ve never been forgotten.

For any of those 'old timers' who are still here, do you know what happened to MartianBishop? I know she went to Mouldies. But I thought she was great, and such a funny poster, despite the horrendous time she was having.

Hello, just brill. Tis me :) so glad to see you, loving the new name.

Hehehe (happy twirl)
I KNEW it was you! Loooong time no see. Crazy to think we were on here 15 years ago. Different life, different people....well, I certainly feel different. Creaky knees and an inner rage that surfaces for the most ridiculous reasons these days.
Really good to know you're back! You have crossed my mind now and again over the years.

I remember you BIWI
Nice you are still here.
I remember iCod, Cybilliberty, Zoetrope, Xenia (!), WalkTheRotties, and Noddy. Sadly Noddy passed away a few years ago.
I was 60ft doll amongst other names back in the day.

Also WWW AND getorfmyland who I met in real life as well

I do think about her sometimes as she lived/lives in my home city. Hope she’s ok.

Oh no! I didn't know about Noddy.

I am sure I remember you. .
I was 2shoes back in the day.

Some things were better back then, some things were worse. It could be horrifically cliquey. I can remember as quite a vulnerable new mum asking questions on a thread and everyone just ignoring me, it really upset me at the time. I realised later they were MN Royalty and as I was a newbie they treated me like I was invisible. Some of the humour was really cringy.

What was better was the support given around mothering and the support to abused women. Back then if you posted about you 4 year old still in nappies you would be given useful advice. Now you would likely be harangued for still having a child in nappies and told you should have started toilet training earlier. Abused women now get many posters telling them it is their fault, they are trying to control their partner, and they should stop upsetting their partner. The support and advice to abused women used to be very good.

I agree the forum became better when more posters joined and it became less cliquey. What made it worse again was the security breaches, I was one of the posters whose email address and registration details were leaked. I deleted my account and did not post for years. But that is why no one uses personal email addresses any more. Several posters were identified in real life and in at least one case it had serious consequences, which is why everyone started name changing frequently. Then penis beaker brought on the type of poster who though that post was hilarious. It was never hilarious, it was an obvious troll. And the posts became less intelligent and interesting. Now its just another chat form like reddit.

The response to suicidal women is much better. Back in the day MN used to delete any posts from women who were suicidal and post a generic message saying these posts were banned and to contact samaritans. I was on MN mainly late at night cluster feeding, and I saw more than my share of these posts. I used to feel sorry for these women desperately reaching out and wondered if they were okay. I am glad that no longer happens.

Back in the day anyone with a difficult life would be accused of trolling. I remember getting to know my neighbour, a young mum who had a difficult life, and realising I had seen her posting about her life on MN. She was called a troll and banned. I think the middle class women who posted here simply had no idea what some people's lives are like.

And almost zero fanjos and norks! Where did they all go? Maybe there’s a cupboard full of them in HQ

I’m a long term serial namechanger too. Not royalty though, thankfully. This kind of thread would have gone nuclear back then. They enjoyed it though. I miss the intelligence level and associated humour. I learned a lot here and from the feminism boards. I think it’s changed in line with society in general. I’m pleased it’s still here though. Now and then it’s a lifeline and occasionally actually lifesaving for people.