My DH has an issue with throwing things away without speaking to me first. If he tidies up in our house he just bins stuff without checking it first. He’s binned my passport and other important documents before now. He promised me that he would stop doing that. God forbid if I threw away so much as a paper clip that belonged to him.
About a month ago our 3 y/o DS got hold of a sharpie and you can imagine, he drew on a lot of his toys. He also drew on some toys that had belonged to my older son (21 y/o) that had been passed onto him. I read up that acetone can remove sharpie and put the toys and stuffed toys into bags in the downstairs shower room that we use for storage. I specifically told my DH that I was going to try and get the sharpie off. I’ve been busy, we’ve been on holiday etc and I have two young children who I look after, I hadn’t got round to cleaning the toys up.
There was also a sweet little bear made up of fabrics from clothes I bought for a baby I later miscarried. I liked that my subsequent children played with that bear. I imagined my grandchildren playing with those toys and that bear one day. I wanted to clean it without destroying it so I’ve been looking online for how to do it, so yes, a month later it was still all sitting there, not in the way or anything.
So today I found out he just took it all to the tip. It’s the sentimental value of some of these toys I am most upset about, especially the bear. I can’t replace them. If I had wanted them binned I would have done it myself in the first place. He didn’t ask me about it, or tell me he was going to do it. He told me afterwards. I am very upset, particularly about the toys that belonged to my older son and the bear. (Not his son) They were all really nice wooden toys, a train set, stacking toys etc. there was nothing wrong with them except some sharpie on them. They were quite old and the sort of things I wanted to keep.
He said he did me a favour going to the tip (I asked him to take some stuff from the garden) and I had no right to be mad with him and now he’s sulking. I’ve asked him time and time again to stop just throwing things away. He’s forever binning my things, because he’s decided I don’t need them or it’s rubbish and he always says it’s “accident.” He can’t understand why I’m upset. I’m very upset and mad because he KNEW that I wanted to clean them up. He’s acting like I’m being silly and unreasonable, I don’t think I am. I keep imagine all those well loved little toys sitting in a skip and I’m genuinely so, so upset. I genuinely believe he did it on purpose, as he’s now saying it was accidental. How can it be accidental?
Am I making a big fuss about nothing?