Should two adult children be treated differently re inheritance, because one has children and the other one does not, by choice or not?

[fungipie]

I would argue that they should both be treated the same.

Yes, normally it should be split equally.

But (prior to death!) the deceased is free to spend their money however they please. They don't have to keep receipts or explain it.

If only children inherit, then they inherit 50:50.

However, grandchildren can inherit separately, and rest divided 50:50.

All my dc are getting nowt... No arguing then whatsoever...

Definitely the same! (Unless there is a very valid reason for not doing so.)

My DH has two siblings. All reasonably comfortable - eldest probably more so.
FIL was quite wealthy but he died 40 years ago and rightly left everything to mil. FIL was very keen that any inheritance should be split 3 ways evenly.

During fil’s protracted illness and following his death my DH did everything for them as both siblings lived hundreds of miles away. Mil died 15 years ago and, when will was eventually read, my DH was totally shocked that he had been left considerably less than his siblings. The bulk had been left to the eldest daughter with the rest split between DH and younger sibling although youngest was also left a considerable amount of expensive jewellery.

DH was devastated but not about the money at all as we are very comfortable through our own efforts. It was like a complete slap in the face and felt like a very pubic statement that he was the least liked child and because mil had died before this came to light he has been left not knowing why. 😥

In my opinion this is a horrible thing to do to a child of any age.

I believe strongly that adult children should be treated equally.

My former best friend had this situation. Her sister had children, she does not and her parents told her that they would leave everything to the sister (not the GCs, the sister) as then it would be passed down in some form to the next generation. Despite the sister also having a professional job and a husband and my former best friend having neither and struggling.

It embittered her incredibly. And hurt her desperately, as she said it made her feel that her life did not matter and was not valued. Just judged and found wanting.

I'm afraid it triggered a period of such prolonged depression where she became so bitter and angry and lashed out at everyone in her life she thought were more lucky than her. In the end DH inherited when his father died and she was so completely vile about this to my face that although I tried really hard to keep the friendshio going she finally went too far with her viciousness that I had to retreat for my own wellbeing.

Maybe she would have been like that anyway- maybe not. But I think her parents were very very wrong to have told her that because her sister had a family and she did not they were leaving it all to the sister.

Depends on the family and situation. If grandchildren were adults I would give them their own share. If they are children I would give their parent extra to go towards the grandchildren.

I believe a person should be able to leave their estate to whoever they want to and in whatever proportions they wish. That's why it is called a "Will" as it expresses their will.

IMO it’s the choice of the person whose money it is.

When one of my grandparents died their money was split:
25% child A
25% child B
25% child C
25% between the six grandchildren (4 belong to one, two to another, one childless).

Seemed fair to us - I think I’d do similar.

Having been on the receiving end of this because we cant have kids it does sting.

BIL and his wife have kids and when they moved FIL gave them £25k moving cash to get the house sorted out and the kids bedrooms done out all nice and some garden play sets. When we moved we got nothing as we didn't have kids so 'didn't need it' and they have even suggested we adopt 😳

Some people may think I'm bitter and its the in laws money so their choice but we are treated totally differently and don't get taken on holidays with the in laws, taken out for meals etc and it pains me the way DH is treated because we haven't given them grandchildren. If they were just taking the kids away and leaving BIL and wife at home not an issue but we too would like an all expenses paid week away.

My brother and his wife have a child and yes my parents put away a small amounts of money for the nephew into his own bank account which I have no issue with, but if my parents gave me a large sum of money or took me away on a holiday my brother would also get the same.

Im sure some of you think I'm spoiled and a brat here but even the BIL notices the inequality and has said it's not right.

In my case my DM has just changed her will. It was to be split 50/50 between me & my brother. However for the last 15 yrs he doesnt bother with my DM. ignores xmas & bdays. Never sees her & doesnt answer the phone.I help her in any way i can. She is 86 and totally mentally sound. She has changed her will to half of eveything for me & the other half split 4 ways. So my brother's share is now split between him and my 3dc.. He doesnt have any dc. He wont be happy but doesnt deserve anything....

They should be treated the same as they are loved equally.

There are some exceptions to the rule like SN but in general, equal is best.

It isn't your money though is it, so your opinion is pretty irrelevant.

If I was your mum I would be cutting you out of the will. You sound selfish and entitled.

You shouldn't be getting involved with who she wants to leave her money to. There is nothing wrong with her wanting to leave money for her grandchildren.

In my family there are 3 siblings. One has no children (by choice), one has birth children and the other has step children. My parents will leaves everyone for split 3 ways between their children. They believe it’s the only fair way.

The thread is asking for people's opinions

I think the children should inherit equally but out of the estate the grandchildren should also inherit and, depending upon the circumstances, possibly be financially better off than the children.

The only opinion that's relevant is the person whose money it is. I really don't understand why people think they can dictate how their family write their will. Seeking to unduly influence relatives is really awful and in some cases unlawful.

We have had some kids in private some in state depending on need. I certainly haven't made it equal in terms of money. I would absolutely leave more to a child who maintains more of a relationship and whose kids we are closer to.

I think that my childfree sister did. My adult children used to clean, cook and take my Mum (wheelchair user) out, as well as staying with her overnight when she felt vulnerable. My sister did nothing for her. My sister gas now made a will, my GC are beneficiaries. I think it's been done deliberately, to make a point. Yet she expects to be regularly hosted by my children and included in everything, stay at their houses etc. She in no way shape or form needed the inheritance.

At the moment I will split my will between my 2 children equally.

however, should one come to me asking for money for school fees, house deposit or whatever I would try to give both similar amounts as that is fair at that time - I would not say this would be adjusted in the will. 200k now is very different to 200k in say 20 years.

If one child is providing care when I am older I shall transfer money to them when I am alive - paying for holidays, cars etc so the final amount will be shared equally.

My family is wealthy and the rule is that inheritance is only given to those continuing the family line, so as a childless and infertile person I wouldn’t inherit and my siblings would get the lot.

As it is I’m estranged from my parents (not over the inheritance before anyone starts), so it’s a moot point. It felt hugely unfair at the time, though, as my infertility was due to a massive health scare and a medical condition I’ll now have until I die.

I’m not the only one in my circle of childless/free friends who’ve been either cut out of wills or given a tiny token gesture with the parent siblings taking the lion’s share.

I feel all the children should be treated equally. It seems assumed by some that if you don’t have kids then you don’t need money.

They should be treated the same

No, but that thread is the reason I posted this one. I have 3 sons, 1 of them has chosen not to have children. I think it would be very wrong for him to be treated differently when it comes to inheritance, or anything, really. We have given money for deposit to two of them - this will be deducted from their share. Grandchildren will all have a sum when we die, and will eventually inherit from their parents.

I do think it would be very wrong to treat an AC differently because they do not have children.

Those were my thoughts!

The only moral right or wrong here is what the person wants to do with their own money.