Should two adult children be treated differently re inheritance, because one has children and the other one does not, by choice or not?

[fungipie]

I would argue that they should both be treated the same.

Why? That's not what they'd get if the children of the deceased inherited, held onto it and then passed it on as their inheritance, by your own logic. The grandparents are just skipping that step.

Yes, skipping that step unfairly. 3 grandchildren = 1/3 each.

But why? The fact that there's three doesn't make a reason.

If they were leaving it to their children with instructions to support their children, would you still say 2/3 to one side and 1/3 to the other?

They are three individuals. The siblings are not joined at the hip (hopefully).

If you leave it to your 2 children, with instructions to support their children, those instructions are pointless as once you're dead and the money is passed on, the 2 children can do whatever they like with it, including pissing it up the wall if they want.

The problem is, fair and equal don't always match up and in that scenario you risk a child feeling like their family is being treated unfairly or unequally, whatever you do. Either "my sisters family got 2/3s while mine only got 1" or "they got half when I've got twice as many children".

And that's my point. There is no "why" that makes everyone happy. So people should do what they want and everyone else should butt out.

@fungipie

This is not at all what I am saying. Give to charities, or whomever- but if you give to your children, it should be the same for all of them.
Yes sure. But their dc are not them. Give the same to each of your dc. And give what you want to other people including your dgc.

A lot can go on behind the scenes that a parent doesn’t know about. Not being given correct facts, not being communicated to by siblings, lies and misinformation given to a parent about siblings - the list goes on.

I know how painful it can feel to be treated unfairly, cast aside, by a parent and having siblings favoured and believed over you.
Purely because of lies.

Equal and fair are the same thing.

True! I don't understand why people don't understand this. A person's child grows up to be independent of them (one hopes) - it's not like giving extra money to one person.

If my mother had had the 4 children she claimed to have wanted she would have probably left the same amount to each child. As it happens she had two children and two grandchildren and saw them as her immediate family and divided her will accordingly.

If one of the GC had been my brother's would that be fairer then? He and I would still getting the same amount .

Absolutely treated the same.

my boys are young but when I die my money and assets will be split evenly between them both. They can decide what they do about any children they may have.

I was lucky and knew my grandparents as an adult for 20 years.
Latterly my siblings and I did a lot to support them - help with hospital trips, days out, navigating funeral planning etc.

When the last one died we agreed to vary the will so that the estate got split threeways rather than two (33% each to the two children (one of whom was our parent, the other didn't have kids), 33% shared between the grandchildren).

I don't think anyone had any issues with this and the money really helped my siblings and I. Our parent also passed some onto my youngest sib as a house deposit (which was evened out amicably in their will).