Should two adult children be treated differently re inheritance, because one has children and the other one does not, by choice or not?

[fungipie]

I would argue that they should both be treated the same.

Well done, and what all parents should do who love their kids.
unequal inheritances have caused so many family rifts.

I was very hurt when my mum said she was going to change her will to give me a third , my brother a third and his two children a third to share - we had a calm discussion and she saw my point of view particularly as they will inherit from me and my DH as no other nephews / nieces

If all things are equal then treat them the same but if the child with grandchildren has been given ‘free’ childcare from their parents maybe the child who is childless should get a bit more.

I think you can't generalise.

I'd generally expect siblings to be treated fairly, but I can see circumstances where it seems reasonable they are treated differently (one sib taking on a family farm, or one sib with a disability or something like that).

I don't think that gc are sub-people, they are separate relations, so I don't see that leaving money to gc means their parent is being treated favourably.

I don’t get why inheritance is so complicated- money goes equally to the deceases children- I don’t care if one is more successful financially, one has kids. They should inherit equally.

My brother is childfree by choice. As far as I know my parents are leaving everything 50/50 in their will. However, they are gifting each of their grandchildren an amount towards uni fees (not in their will - as a cash gift). I think this is a fair approach.

Assuming all factors are equal, the most fair way is to divide the estate by the direct descendents. If money is left for grandchildren, then an equal amount should be added on to any child free children which brings the split back to equilibrium.

As others have said, it's entirely up to those with the money to leave as to who they leave it to, but they have to accept that anything other than an equal split for direct descendents is unfair.

I think the adult children should be treated the same, but it's quite reasonable for the grandparents to want to leave their grandchildren money directly in addition to whatever they give to their adult children.

So say £20k to each grandchild (regardless of how many and which adult child was their parent) and the remaining estate split between the adult children equally, or even 50% of the estate split between all adult children and 50% of the estate split between all grandchildren would also be fair. On the same vein they may just want to split the estate equally between their adult children and not leave to the grandchildren at all.

Ultimately it's the parent's money and their choice if they leave it to children or grandchildren. But I do think it's fundamentally unfair for the adult children themselves to be left unequal amounts.

Has to be, to much of a coincidence,they closed off posting just as I was about to post that I had changed my mind and that whilst as a sister I would give something, she shouldn't be entitled to the whole 150k.

The OP should have been honest with the sister when looking at homes that the cost was gonna eat up the rest of the money but then the sister probably would have blocked the home move and OP has a work and home responsibilities so probably didn't want to. Never the less the sister could have moved back to care for the dad and never did. Therefore while I would give her something I'd explain it's because I'm a good sister not because she's owed it.

Yep I agree with this.

No!

we’re currently facing the same, one sibling giving much more as they haven’t got their arse in gear to buy a house (not money related just isn’t bothered about owning)
the sibling who worked bloody hard to get on the housing ladder and pays a mortgage given much less.

It still causes bitterness despite trying not to. But hey it’s all ok as the parent loves both the same!

Children should get the same. Grandchildren should get something, too, held in trust until they are adults if it's a large sum - 1/4 of what the children get seems reasonable.

I think if the grandchildren got £100k each for school fees, and therefore one adult child saved herself the £200k she had expected to spend, she should share some of her good fortune with her sister after there was none of her sisters planned inheritance left.

(This is a TAAT)

If this is about the other thread, the OP of that thread is financially comfortable, whilst her sister is struggling. Not all childless and childfree people are single but the sister in that thread is. And single pensioner poverty is on average double that of couples.

When I was a kid and my grandmother died, my mum and her sibling inherited everything. My mum chose to put aside some of her share into savings for me and my siblings. I think that's the fairest way do it.

I would argue that the only person who's opinion counts is the person the money belongs to. If they want to leave everything to one and nothing to the other, it's up to them. No 'should' about it. The only rights any of us have is to the money we earn ourselves. Some people see their GC as separate to their parents, so want to bequeath something extra for their particular benefit, others see no further than the next generation and spilt it evenly between their DC. Others might well think if their children are so entitled and grasping as to be fussing about the will before they were even dead, they might as well leave it to charity.

Assuming there's no backstory, estrangement, abuse, neglect, disability thst means the parents feel they need to fund care after they die, etc then ideally yes, all children should be treated equally.

That may be an equal split between all children with nothing going to the grandchildren or it may mean the same amount going to each of the children and a separate amount going directly to the grandchildren.

Either way the children are getting the same amount so are being treated equally.

This.

I think the siblings should be treated the same but if the deceased gave a share to the children them this is seperate and not included in their parent's share

Well it depends obviously on a number of details.

My friends parents willed their home entirely to her DB who has severe disabilities. She totally understands why they did that and appreciated the much smaller payout she got.

One child might be unpleasant. One might be a multi millionaire and the other living in poverty.

Loads of reasons why decisions might be made to treat them differently.

Do child free siblings really resent their sibling’s children receiving a share of the inheritence?
When my GPs died it was split 4 ways, their three children received 25% each and the remainder was split equally between all the grandkids. I have never considered that anyone would consider this unfair. I certainly don’t assume that my childless uncle would leave his inheritance to me so therefore I should give up my share from my grandparents.

Depends how it done if both kids get 1/3 and GC directly gets 1/3 then fine

I’m childfree but I would expect to receive the same amount as my siblings with children, I would be upset if I received less or was cut out just because I haven’t had children. It isn’t entirely by choice I haven’t ended up with children. That said, I wouldn’t be at all upset if my mum included my DNs in her will as well as me and my siblings, I received a small sum of money from my grandparents in their will (as did my cousins) which was much less than my parents and aunts/ uncles received but still very much appreciated. Grandchildren are separate from their parents and will have relationships with their grandparent in their own right so I don’t think any inheritance they receive should only come from their parents ‘share.’ I know my mum has put money in trust for my DNs and don’t feel upset I won’t receive a gift of this kind because I don’t view this money as being for my sibling, it’s for my DNs who my mum loves dearly in their own right, not only as extensions of my sibling.

My mum wanted the 'grandchildren' treated fairly - one of us has 2 one has 3..

So the split was 40 to me, 40 to my sister - and the other 20 between 'all' grandchildren (when the will was written it was unclear.. how many there would be)

My family is the smaller one - but I don't mind all the children getting the benefit. When I go - my children will get 50/50 whereas my sisters children will get 33/33/33

I think that there are reasons for treating adult children differently in inheritance terms.

Generally speaking I’d want treat them the same but there can obviously be mitigating factors.