Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

Agreed and making their children mini versions of themselves.

Anxious and scared of everything.

So I am not permitted to respond to posts referencing my name because you have declared it enough - perhaps report my posts then, then again I don’t think you can report for people disagreeing with you or number of times posting.

@Goldenbear of course you're "permitted", but surely you've got other things to do, like making sure your children are really fully protected and doing everything for them.

You must be exhausted!

Your extreme anxiety would impact your own child

It's not even a risk! I mean, if you were unlucky an earthquake separated you , blocking the corridor and a hord of zombie attacking maybe.

Reminds me of that episode of Friends where Rachel locks her baby in their flat 😂

I have a 17 year old DS he is absolutely fine and typical for his age as is my 12 year old, he certainly knows how to debate a point without name calling. If you have children I hope you teach them how to put their argument across without the need to belittle others as it doesn’t look or sound very bright.

What, absolutely bizarre level of remote control you are trying to administer over people. I have teenagers, how much involvement do you think they require, ones nearly an adult doing his own thing as is right and age appropriate.

And this is the issue! Three year olds and 12 year old being treated the same and parents "can't see the issue"!

🤦‍♀️

I was walking with friends in a city in a foreign country on a school trip at 12.
Is your daughter allowed to go anywhere on her own?

@Goldenbear who has called you a name?

Stop making stuff up!

You posted that I was neurotic. That is like me suggesting you are neglectful.

Im afraid I don’t agree with you and other posters and guess what, you’ll have to accept that as this isn’t a place to come if you don’t want people to disagree with you!

I didn't say I worked in the Hilton or the Holiday Inn, nor did I make reference to the USA. There's a lot more out there than a mid price chain.
I'm really not a fan of statistics either. Too many people use them to twist the narrative.

Also, as you have declared that I can’t post anymore, why do you keep asking me questions?

Open the door, lounge about while daughter runs the trash to the bin. And back. All under your supervision.

But yes a bit OTT in my opinion.

Again, OP - you emphasised being in a foreign country. To go by the linked table above - thank you, @Gabby82 - the murder rate in the US is just over 4x the murder rate in the UK.

But the murder rate in the UK is over 7x the murder rate in Singapore. Citizens of all three nations generally speak excellent English, so there is no language barrier. Would you let your DD do the chore as described in a proper hotel in a proper British city? Why or why not? Would you understand citizens of Singapore being terrified for the safety of their 12 year olds here, as you are for your DD in America?

@Goldenbear is calling you neurotic, calling you a name !

I don't think so, it's stating my feelings of your behaviour! Which I stand by.

You are being neurotic.

I was asked for statistics, I quite agree with you but not for the same reasons, for the fact that this is a chat forum not an academic paper.

Your experience working in a hotel at 14 in the UK years ago is not really what I’m referring to as it isn’t relevant to this situation today.

I disagree with you and it isn’t really an argument, it is just an emotive put down to make you feel better about yourself- if that’s how you roll then yes, be careful passing on that attitude to any children if you have them?

@Goldenbear "sigh" I didn't call you a name!

Go back to arguing with someone else.

Having AS you, you have a lot of "worries" you bring to MN, so we're never going to agree.

I would be more wary in a foreign country, you don't know the crime rates in the area, local news of any risks and you don't really know how the police action missing people. The other difference is in your local area your child would know where to run for help, they are also known and you can get word out to other local people quickly if she was missing who could have seen something suspicious. The kind of people that would abduct someone will also be well aware of this and I think more likely to go for someone foreign (no source for this before anyone asks, just am assumption I think is reasonable!)
I'm surprised at the people who don't see it as being any different from being at home.

Try telling parents who have experience of child molesters they need psychiatric help owing to being extremely protective of their children. I've no experience of this but I respect the fact they wouldn't let their young children run free on holidays & neither would I.

@Goldenbear if I have children?

Not your business and totally irrelevant, HTH!

Do you have children as for me that would put a different spin on your observations?

I bet they are young as you don’t sound like you have a clue about teenagers.

@Goldenbear I have children, adult ones, no anxieties, don't go on public boards asking people to sort out their worries, ok now?

I live in that foreign country and my kids have taken the trash out many times - you are being completely ridiculous. She's no more at risk in a US Marriott than a Manchester Hilton. You sound a bit insane to be honest! 😄