Would you let your child do this or am I over the top?

[KrustyBurger]

Currently on holiday in the USA. We are staying at a Marriott so not a motel type set up.

Husband asked our daughter who is 12 to run some rubbish down to the bin next to the lift, she would have to go past about 12 room doors (6 each side).

I said no, il do it as you never know who’s in the rooms and it only takes 5 seconds for someone to open the door and yank her in and you wouldn’t even know which room it is or where she is.

Husband said ok but gave me a strange glance.

Was I being over the top? Or would other parents do the same. It’s nearly 10pm at night here.

Husband's a bit of a clean freak and our bin is full hence not just leaving it.

There is such a thing as intuition, maybe your spidey sense was triggered and at that moment it was a no. Doesn't mean you'll never let her put rubbish in a bin ever again 😂

Gut instinct is completely underrated!

People who won't let their child take this minute level of risk are the same ones panicking when their 18 year old wants to go to Paris for a weekend

You sound a bit crazy to be honest.

IME adults who don’t fare well in life normally didn’t develop their problems because they felt loved and secure.

Sometimes outwardly privileged of spoiled types develop issues but it normally isn’t because there was a real and grounded security.

@ButWhatAboutTheBees have you never watched 'taken'

I am kidding btw

I'm in the UK. It was certainly common when I was a child for 14 year olds to have a Saturday job. Granted it's more likely to be 16 year olds with part time jobs now, but times change.

I notice that you and many of the posters on this thread who agree with the OP assume it's because we all live in some kind of charmed life of blissful ignorance where nothing bad has ever happened. Yet you know nothing of our backgrounds.
You repeat that your job informs your risk making decisions, not thinking that perhaps our occupations might similarly influence ours.

We've been letting our daughter go and buy the croissants in the campsite shop on holiday by herself since she was about 12. However we don't just let her go on the first day. We manage the risk. We research our holiday in advance to make sure it's a suitable destination. We accompany her to the shop on the first few days so that she is familiar with the route, the layout, the processes etc. We also note how long it takes to get from A to B so that when she inevitably asks if she can start going to the shop we know when she should be back.
In a few years time she might want to go travelling with friends and will need the skills to navigate life. She will be ill equipped to do so if we don't let her do anything for herself.

Completely over the top response OP!

It’s a hotel corridor.

I would probably let my 12 year old do it, but it's not unreasonable to say the US (or most countries actually) are less safe than the UK. Its a fact: www.datapandas.org/ranking/murder-rate-by-country

I don't think it's over the top to avoid the risk. I also don't think Madeline Mcann's parents made the right risk assessment in a 'safe' family complex. But hindsight is just that so you have to go with you instinct.

Ott.

Perfectly reasonable expectations for a 12 year old.

I only asked about the location as the data about sexual assault lawsuits for chain hotels has increased in the U.S in the last two years, I don’t know where you worked at 14 in the UK but that is very young so I doubt it was the Holiday Inn. My Mum is mid 70s and even she didn’t start working in a shop until she was 15 so yes, that is quite surprising.

Of course I don’t know anything about you or you me but yes, I don’t think your are referencing the same experiences as me in your decision making process as I think you would not come to the conclusions you have. Obviously, bad experiences vary in what they are though so they may not be relevant.

When I spoke about my job I was responding to your comments about online safety.

When we used to go to the US with our girls the first thing they wanted to do when we checked in was find the ice machine, they were fine.

I'd have let her go. I'd have figured that the chances of a dangerous individual not only being in one of those rooms, but also knowing DD was about to pass their door and deciding to take the huge risk of opening it at just the right moment to snatch her, with her parents in the same corridor, and once in the room with her, no possibility of getting away unapprehended, was very low indeed.

Ah yes, the naive people who live in that incredibly rare bubble where people aren't randomly snatched from 30 seconds in a corridor of a Marriott Hotel. Those people don't know how unusual and privileged they are.

As I commented previously, I have a 17 year old DS, he is absolutely fine at navigating travelling on his own. He is unbelievably laid back and very teacher comments on it so I don’t think there’s any damage done- far from it.

Indeed, awful awful foreigners.

So much safer in the UK with weirdos taking on random strangers with a flipping machete in the street in daytime. We are so lucky we live in a civilised country, unlike the rest of the world.

sadly, we live in a world where a UK kid got snatched from her own bathroom, terrorists blow up school kids and the list of horrific stories goes on.

If you really believe the tiny lock on your hotel room is enough to keep you safe, you are the naive one.

Where do you stop?

Completely unjustified paranoia, seeing as you're asking.

I've just taken this from the UK government website.

Part-time work
The youngest age a child can work part-time is 13.

It's not unusual to have a part time job when you're at school. Particularly if your parents don't have much money to spare. Plus it teaches you all sorts of life skills like independence.

No, more like the exceptionally chirpy that reek of naivety and believe that every other human they interact with deliberates and is angst ridden over issues such as ‘parenting styles’!

As an aside, please point out where I argued that the abduction was the thing to be concerned by - no need to read it all, I didn’t!

I didn’t say you didn’t work at 14 or that the law prohibited it as I had a paper round, I was curious as to how you landed a job in the Hilton or Holiday Inn at the age. And seen as it was years ago and the UK not really relevant to the increase in Lawsuits in US chains with all sorts of crimes but sexual assault from predators, strangers not just people that are known to each other.

I think if taking the risk doesn’t really impact you negatively what’s the point in taking it- it doesn’t make any odds if the OP’s child does this, does it?

@Goldenbear you're coming across quite neurotic and obtuse.

I think everyone has heard enough from you now.

I think we know your views.

I think if taking the risk doesn’t really impact you negatively what’s the point in taking it- it doesn’t make any odds if the OP’s child does this, does it?

It impacts the child by making them anxious, which carries on to making them scared of everything as MN proves, time and again.

12 is when I started having my dd navigate hotels. Not only did she take trash to the bin, she took the elevator to the front desk, went to breakfast, and went to the front door to return or retrieve a cart.

it helps that she has a cell phone that I can track in her pocket

Honestly some of you need psychiatric help.

I can't imagine living with the level of fear and paranoia experienced by some of you.