Is this not bizarre mum behaviour?

[Calmascannotbe]

Ok - some minor details changed just to avoid completely outing anyone.

So for the past two years, like many schools, we have had a Whatsapp chat group for parents. This parent is the class rep and is on the whole pretty organised and helpful. However they will all too often use their kid as a pretence to post videos or photos of what they are randomly up to, e.g. 'oh here we are at some lovely place, X wanted me to post this to show all his/her friends'/'oh look what X is up to, X wanted you to show his/her friends'.

No one else does anything like this and fundamentally these appear to be stealth brag posts and there is little engagement or reciprocation - maybe a few token heart emojis. It's been going on for 18 months now and I know I should ignore it but I'd rather it didn't happen and I just think it's pretty poor behaviour. The Whatsapp group is for admin and keeping up to date with key events, parties etc. and whilst there is jovial chat/networking, these posts randomly appear and just put an awkward stop on any other discussion. One person recently alluded to it straight after a stealth brag post when they commented on the group if someone could summarise which birthday parties are upcoming as they have lost track with the non-school related posts.

The thing that really tipped it over the edge was that on a couple of occasions recently, this parent has randomly decided to coincide their daily activities with some of the school trips the kids in the class have been on and will creepily post pictures of the kids from a distance. AIBU to think this is really odd behaviour? If you have free time, why would you choose to spend it lingering in the shadows around a class trip your kid was on and then send blurry pictures of the kids from afar? Yes fair enough I should just ignore it, refrain from engaging as I am already doing and move on with my life but at the same time, is this not just mentally bizarre behaviour?!

Seems to me they haven't really realised what the WhatsApp group is for.

Watching a school outing from afar, though, is , yes, pretty weird and I think I'd mention it to the school. I can't imagine any healthy reasons anybody would do that.

Slightly off topic: I'm so glad we didn't have WhatsApp when my kids were at school. Group messages would have been a constant reminder that my quiet and less popular DD was not being included in activities.

I suggest you message this woman privately and recommend intense therapy. What a oddbod.

The first half I would just endure. The second I would speak to the school about. I haven't consented to my kids images being taken by the school and I would consider this adjacent and something they should take action on.

Creeping about taking photos of the children in the distance and then sending it to the group chat? This is bizarre behaviour. I’d definitely tell the school as that is inappropriate and downright weird.

The first bit sounds annoying af and I'd ignore/ mute.

Second bit about blurry paparazzi pics of children from the school is unhinged AF and school needs screen shots emailed so they can ask her wtf she's doing.

just sounds like a non professional person who doesn't really get what a whatapp group is for and how it is used, either talk to her about it in person or ignore it

We have one if these in the Scouts whatsapp group.
If someone asks one of the leaders a question she has to jump in within a millisecond with the answer 🙄
She posts her pictures of events (with her child front and centre) before the leaders post the (more balanced) pictures of all the kids.
Most irritatingly she sends out reminders of upcoming events, it is literally nothing to do with her!
No one responds anymore and yet it is like she can't stop, she doesn't work and has one teen so the majority of us parents feel like she uses it to fill her time.
I can't even leave/mute the group as that is how the leaders share info on events etc.
I totally understand how bloody irritating it is!

A mum I go to toddlers groups with regularly does these sort of posts on the local Facebook community pages. It will be a post loosely related to something local with a picture of her kid chucked in, often with “pic for attention”. I used to think it was annoying as hell but I kind of feel bad for her now, like she just really needs that little bit of connection/attention even if it’s total strangers.

That second but though is mental and someone needs to pull her up on it.

A mum I go to toddlers groups with regularly does these sort of posts on the local Facebook community pages. It will be a post loosely related to something local with a picture of her kid chucked in, often with “pic for attention”. I used to think it was annoying as hell but I kind of feel bad for her now, like she just really needs that little bit of connection/attention even if it’s total strangers.

That second but though is mental and someone needs to pull her up on it.

It sounds like her child is her identity now.

We have two class group chats. One for formal messages from school and one for chat like "has anyone seen X's jumper"

Can you block her? Then enjoy the silence.

Odd behaviour. I don’t like the creepy school trip photos yikes!

the first part is annoying and it sounds like she doesn’t have anything else in her life, hence she finds time and prioritises stalking a school trip group instead of having a life of her own.

Oh god, the thought of yet another whatsapp group to keep track of brings me out in hives. I really miss the days when a weekly newsletter came home crumpled in their school bags.

First bit can be addressed by putting a reminder of what the WhatsApp group is for in the chat... "Quick reminder everyone, this chat is for school related issues only. Please don't add any other content as it makes it harder for us all to keep on top of the important stuff."

Second bit needs to be raised with the school as it's a huge safeguarding issue. She has no idea who in the class has/hasn't got permission to be photographed. There are lots of reasons why a child should not have their photo published, she needs to be told to stop what she's doing immediately.

We had a parent like this on our PTA. She posted pictures of a child who was subject to court order (we didn't know this) on our school WhatsApp group.

All hell broke loose. She was invited to meet with Principal and chair of Board of governors along with the creator of the WhatsApp group.

Said parent left the whole PTA and is rarely seen in school now. The principal and PTA chair took advice and now anyone who joins any of the WhatsApp groups is made an admin. That way no one person is responsible and everyone has to be careful what is posted.

That's put an end to all those shite posts. Job done.

Do some schools actually have formal WhatsApp groups created by the school or is it some over eager parents?

I lasted 1 afternoon in the group chat set up for dd in year 6 years ago. Honestly op just leave. School letters and emails will keep you up to date.

In both schools DS has attended, it’s very much not anything official, not school or PTA, just an organised parent (who has also been the PTA rep for the class some years) making a point of asking new class parents if they’d like to join and adding them if so. I don’t know how it began in reception as DS was 7 when he moved to this school.

And it’s fine, very much just lost jumpers, missing homework questions, and reminders about bake sales — not much traffic, and nothing not school-related.

Just leave the group. You’ll get information from the school and for the birthday parties if your child is invited you’ll get an invitation. I’ve had hassle on these groups from idiot parents who think they’re in charge. If leaving isn’t ok because of the left group message just archive it. I’d also say to inform the school that photos are being posted of the class - even blurry photos ant school/ on school trips are not allowed without consent. Also update the school that this parent is ‘attending’ the school trips from a distance.

@Halfheadhighlights our school encourage it but we’re a private school so don’t know if it makes a difference- same as the school has social media and posts photos of the kids (with permission).

There were issues in yr1 with parents airing a fight between their two kids amongst the rest of us but someone had a word and we’ve gone back to party invites, reminders and the odd can anyone recommend a good local plumber type thing.

Or maybe she's just a lonely SAHM trying to promote a bit of conversation.

Is there any need to be so harsh? You could just ignore it.

Just put the group on silent and check in as and when

My DC is a sixth former. We spent a few years at a private school after relocating back to UK from US. One of the parents in our year group there produced a directory of contact details - names of parents and children, addresses, emails. This was updated and sent out by email every term by him. There were not very many posts that parents would send out to the whole group. They fell into two main categories - X has lost uniform item and parent is doing sponsored cycle/walk etc. Weirdly, no one objected to the volume of sponsorship emails but more than one complained to the admin guy that they didn’t like people posting about lost uniform items. I didn’t understand that then and I don’t now 🤣

It sounds as if she doesn’t have enough to do tbh. She’s bored and lonely.

As PPs have said I couldn’t really get excited about the first part: I just would tune it out. But taking pictures of other people’s kids without consent needs to be flagged to school.