nursery opening hours

[scottishgal09]

I need to go back to work so will soon be putting my 9 month old in nursery, only thing is that the earliest I can find any nursery open is 7 am to 7 pm. The 7 pm closing time is fine but I really find I need a opening time of 6 pm. I also work Saturday mornings so need something that is open 6 days. Start time should be at least 6:00 pm but I struggle to find this. Do these type of nursery’s exist? What are the opening and closing hours for your nursery’s? Why don’t nursery’s take into account that some parents need to work 6 days 🤨?

I can appreciate you getting frustrated. You love your job and want to continue.

But the childcare you are looking for doesn't exist

I think you and your husband need to sit down and go back to the drawing board.

That doesn't necessarily mean you give up your job. It could mean you/him changing hours/days, dropping one of the jobs, putting in a flexible working request.

The current situation isn't really workable - for you or baby. I went back PT 3 full days a week and it is exhausting in a way I never imagined.

A good workplace should offer flexibility, knowing that as a good worker it will come back to them once your child is older and you can pick back up. If they don't offer flexibility then are they actually a good workplace?

Unless you are incredibly lucky and can enlist the help of family long term, you will both have to make sacrifices- it’s just how it is. All employers are obliged to consider flexible working for their employees, obviously they don’t have to give it , but must have a good reason. I think you and your husband both need to apply and take it from there.
Not to be overly negative, but this is only the beginning of juggling work, life and kids.

Nursery staff have qualifications and know lots about raising children and how they develop. More than you or me. I never said 6 to 7 pm. I need to start work early so 6 to 5 pm is more my thinking. What’s wrong with nursery’s? You think bad things are happening in them lol.

We chose our nursery because it was the only one with the opening and closing times were 7:30 - 6:30 Monday to Friday, without a fee attached but DS isn't there the whole time, we just needed a buffer in case we were running late to pick him up or had an early morning start.

That's the earliest and latest I've seen, think you'll struggle to find timings you're after tbh.

Caring and loving are not the same, hence the different words. Do you think people who work in care homes love all the old people?? You’re splitting hairs.

No, nobody expects you to give up your job and go on benefits.

They do expect you and your husbands to make reasonable adjustments to your working lives to accommodate the child you’ve decided to have.

It’s not up to nurseries to bend around you and you alone. You should have known what was likely possible before you had the child and planned accordingly.

Many go part time or adjust hours when they have children. If that was never going to be possible for yours and your husbands employers and you knew would have to work at times when no childcare available, what was the plan?

I'm in a very different field, I'm an accountant. But I do see a fair few women being able to take on part time jobs so still keep their career, going. Both myself and a few friends I trained with have all kept working as accountants but work 3/4 days per week. I have a fantastic balance. I know my career is suffering because I'm not there FT and doing the O/T that someone else can. But I am seeing my child a lot. So the balance is good for me. Maybe when DC are older I will go back to a FT position.

I feel very privileged to be able to do this and I know it is because women that came before me pushed for us to have it, so thank you.

Caring and loving the same thing? You can't seriously think this. I care for and care about my patients but I don't love them.

No judgement on people using full time childcare if you absolutely have to, but 6 days a week from 6am is far too much for a child. Parenthood is about putting your children first, one of you are going to have to reduce your hours or change jobs. You may not think it's fair, but you chose to have a child so you have to do what it best for them and 6 days a week at nursery isn't it. This isn't sustainable for a poor baby or yourselves.

@scottishgal09

You have two options - get a childminder or work less.

Nurseries aren't meant to be a child's primary residence.

No. I was a nursery nurse for one summer. I listened whilst another cater read a story and she skipped pages to get to the end. I have a childhood development degree and was mopping the floor whilst she (who could barely read) was reading to a group of four year olds. In the baby room there were three of us and 8 babies. Babies had to cry on their own some times because we didn’t have enough hands. We cared but it is in no way the same as being in a loving family. Stop kidding yourself. It’s ok for a few days a week. But children need consistent love and care. Your child isn’t even one year old and you will hard your child if you basically hand over the parenting to a group of people who are paid to do a job. Plus… we loved some of the children. The sweet well balanced ones. Those who were little sods - and this was because they’ve been negligently parented by the way - were not loved. So their behaviour tends to get worse. This is life. You are the parent - you should be that baby’s main input.

what time does you husband start work? Can he do the morning drop off? My DH does the morning drop off and I collect.

I think people are being a bit harsh to you, but are getting frustrated because you are not seeing that you and your DH need to compromise. It is highly unlikely you will find a nursery that will do what you want.

Any health care professionals (mostly females) I know have a spouse that has a more 'regular' job and can facilitate the nursery drop off hours. Such as nurses I know who do shifts including nights.

I think my son does benefit massively from going to nursery.

You won't find anywhere open before 7, the nursery around here at 7.30 earliest and school break fast club in our school is 7.30-5.30. I don't know of any nurseries open past 6

So you’ll only see your baby for one day a week? I understand some parents need to work (and full time for both parents isn’t the norm where I am) but surely you don’t want to be apart from your baby for that long? You will literally be seeing them one day a week? Why do you both need to have two jobs - can’t one of you give up one of your jobs and save the money on nursery and look after your baby.

in most cases there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with nurseries, but baby will be away from
primary caregivers for a huge amount of time. It’s very stimulating for them to be around so many adults and kids all the time. They will be very tired I imagine. I did three days with eldest and 4 with youngest and that was a lot for them.

What are your actual work hours?
What are your partners actual work hours?

There must be some flexibility there? One of you works 4 days, or one starts 6am and fished by 3pm, the other 9-6pm or similar. Then you only need nursery 8-4pm , 4 days etc

Have you looked at all the costs of childcare v income? If your not high earners which you seem to suggest, then you are likely paying more per hour for extra nursery than both dropping some hours

Oh man. Yes the child will have lots of people showing it attention / care in a nursery but then those staff members change within weeks or months, as they move through the baby room / toddler room / pre-school etc or when staff members leave their jobs. The fact being that there is no consistent attachment formed with any of them, because they are all transient caregivers in this child's life.

I don't even think an older child would cope with being out of the house for the amount of time you are suggesting. Its exhausting for them and stressful to be away from their primary attachment figure.

If you do find somewhere to have the baby 6am til 7pm, you're never going to see your baby awake. I would change jobs or reduce my hours. It's worth it to spend time with your little one, as they grow up so quickly.

If you think 'care' shown by nursery workers is the same as 'love' I can only assume you don't actually love your baby. This is the only explanation for you wanting something that's really not good for them as well, being in nursery for the vast majority of their waking hours and away from a primary caregiver. ANY child development specialist would tell you this would be horrific for development especially emotionally and psychologically.

What do you think a nanny costs out of interest?

I can’t get over the posters who think the only thing that can flex here is the OP acquiring a magic £35k for a nanny.

No one is saying you should give up your job, but you’re not engaging with any of the suggestions you’ve been given, or answering any questions.

The fact is, the nursery hours you want don’t exist. So you’re going to have to find a solution. The most sensible is for you or your partner to change or reduce the hours you work. Have you looked at that option at all? If not, why?

This is so sad to read, why did you have a child if you cared so much about your career? Can you not look into reducing your hours for a few years until they are older, especially as you say you are working two jobs just to afford the childcare?

If you are absolutely adamant that you want to ditch your child for six days a week, I think you need to reconsider your opinion on childminders. In my experience they give a far superior level of care compared to a nursery. The child becomes part of the family and has the continuity of care that they won't get with numerous different nursery workers, plus childminders tend to be older and more experienced whilst some nursery staff are barely out of school. Children get to experience a lot more through regular days out and different play groups as well. I have seen childminders that offer early drop offs so that may be your only option if you don't want to consider a nanny.

100% 👏👏👏

"Well-educated" people, such as Drs to use your example, who work very long hours and have children a) have a partner who works shorter hours b) have a partner with the same hours or are single and can afford a nanny or c) have family help. They do not use nursery for 60 hours a week.

We work in restaurants as managers for two of the jobs. The pay is very good. There are also tips. We can afford nursery definately. Also because it is best for our child, it is better then being bored at home for the child or at a childminder where the child is just tagging along with the childminder to pick up children at school all day. We work hard so we can provide the best care for our child.

I wonder if you are actively trying to avoid parenting if you say you aren't good at it?

11 hours a day in nursery 5 days a week plus a minimum of a half day on the 6th day is too much. Yes you and your DH deserve your jobs but it’s not a pet dog, it’s a human being that deserves time with its parents. Full time nursery can be absolutely fine for children but yours is more than full time, that’s not best for your child.